I sit down in front of the mirror, frowning at my reflection before applying some foundation and other products that I hate. I've never been a fan o makeup, it's weird to act like you are someone else than yourself. I'm really ugly, or my friends don't think so, but I do. If I don't try to look better than I actually do, I can just be aware of me ugliness and fuck with it. I put on a black dress and white sneakers because I can't walk in heels at all without falling. I look at myself one last time before walking downstairs. After putting my jacket on, I open the door and start to walk down the steps, but a voice stops me.

''Ember, where are you going?'' It's my fucking mum again. Being scared of her, plus knowing that she won't let me go to another party, I come up with an excuse.

''Going to Liam's to meet him and Ava", I say before shutting the door. I didn't say Julia, because mum literally hates her. Julia hates her back after everything she did to me, too. I start walking to Julia's house.

I walk up the steps of Julia's house and she opens up almost immideately before hugging me.

"Welcome, Em!" She outbursts before handing me a bottle of cider. We walk inside and the first thing I see is two girls who are making out on the couch with guys cheering all around them. The kitchen is full of people who want to get more alcohol, but most guests are in the living room. I raise the bottle to my mouth before taking a sip, letting my eyes wander over the crowd to find a special person. Suddenly, Julia drags me away to another group of people. There are three guys, one of them looks familiar. It's Kevin!

"This is my friend, Ember!" Julia exclaims.

"Yo, we met last sunday!" Kevin says before hugging me. I hug him back because I actually like Kevin. Not in a ''more-than-friends-way'', but he's really cool and he was nice at the last party.

I look at the other two guys. One of them has blonde, short hair and blue eyes. A black shirt is hugging his upper body and he's wearing ripped jeans together with a pair of red sneakers. The other one looks a bit similar but with darker hair and different colors on his clothes.

''Hey, I'm William!'' The blonde guy says, reaching out his hand for me to shake.

''Ember, nice to meet you", I smile before turning to the other one

''Travis", he says, shaking my hand as well. I can't lie, he looks really good. He also seems a bit chill, just like me. I'd love to know him better.

Suddenly, I hear a familiar voice that completely makes me forget about Travis.

''Yo, I was looking for y'all!'' she says and I turn around to see Billie, the one I was looking for earlier.

''Billie!'' I exclaim before hugging her. The alcohol makes me more clingy and touchy than normal.

''Ems, I fucking missed you, dude'', she grins before pulling away, keeping her hands on my shoulder. We get interrupted by the others.

''Hey, Bil we're here to, you know!'' Kevin says, pretending to be annoyed and Billie turns around to greet the others as well. After hugging all the guys, Billie faces Julia, they haven't met before.

''You must be Julia, right?'' Billie asks.

''Yeah, and you're Billie?'' She answers with a smile before shaking her hand and Billie nods. We then go into the living room and everybody starts to dance. I need to drink a lot to be comfortable and dance like all the others so I just drink all of what's left in the bottle. From nowhere, Kevin walks in with a tray full of shots. Fuck yes. Julia grabs my arm and gives me one of the small glasses and I inspect it. The liquid is red, and looks gross but well, it's a party. Everyone grabs one as well and Julia then starts to talk.

''Thank y'all for coming here tonight, lets freak the fuck out!'' She screams, making us all laugh before raising the glasses to our mouths. I feel how the strong liquid burns my throat, almost making me throw up. The alcohol kicks in and now, everything feels pretty good. The ground feels like a boat out on the water a stormy day and my vision starts to become a bit blurry. Suddenly, dancing is not a problem and i'm grinding on some random guy who looks like the biggest fuckboy ever. Everyone's cheering around us and I don't really care about anything right now.

A couple of hours later, we all sit on the couch with drinks in our hands. Billie sits next to me, which feels good because I haven't spended much time with her during the night. I feel how all the alcohol is getting the best of me and I would do anything to sleep right now. Leaning against Billie's shoulder, I close my eyes and feel like shit.

''You good?'' she asks with a chuckle.

''Yeah, or no", I mumble. She chuckles again before resting her head on mine.

''It's pretty late, and you're pretty drunk. You shouldn't drink that much, man. You're only sixteen", she says, a bit more serious. ''Like, you're drinking more than me, and Kev. We're both older than you.''

I stay quiet for a while before answering.

''I have my reasons", mumble before sitting up, playing with my fingers in my lap. Billie looks at me, concerned. She opens her mouth to answer, but closes it again like she doesn't know what to say. I guess she remembers how it went down the last time she asked me questions about it. Wanting to move the attention away from me, I start another conversation with her.

''So, what did you think about our school?'' I ask her, trying to sound happy. She shakes her head, probably noticing my act before answering.

''Well, it wasn't that bad. Those girl were pretty annoying, though", She answers, making me giggle.

Suddenly, my phone signal can be heard and I see the word ''Mum'' on my screen. Fuck.

''Wait, I need to answer", I say quickly before opening the front door. I walk down the steps and out into the garden. Sitting down on the stone wall that's surrounding the big plot. I press on the green button and raise the phone to my ear.

''Hello?'' I say, a bit annoyed.

''I know where you are! You lied, and you know what happens when you lie. I don't think that you realise how much you are disappointing Evan and your dad right now", She growls with her insane voice. I instantly feel how my eyes burn. She always brings up my family to make me feel guilty.

''You came home drunk the other day, why is it wrong when I do it?'' I say, my voice trembling. She chuckles before answering.

''I have a reason. My daughter killed the only people in my family that I cared about. Why should the killer herself be sad? Aren't you happy that they are gone? You must have done it for a reason, Ember.''

Paralyzed. I feel paralyzed by her words. Trembling, I press the red button on my phone. Her words sink in and I feel how the tears finally escapes my eyes. I'm falling apart, and there's nothing I can do about it. I jump down from the wall and sit down on the cold, frozen grass before burying my head in my hands. Why me? Suddenly, the front door opens and the silhouette of a girl with baggy clothes walks down the steps.

''Ember?''