Please don't kill me after this chapter.

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M A R I N A

Thirteen years ago...

Ten-year-old Marina was ecstatic to celebrate her tenth birthday with her family. She had been a pain in the ass to her parents the past month.

'Abba, will we go and celebrate my birthday?'

'Where will we exactly go?'

'Ammi, you know there are only five days left for my birthday. Only five.'

Saad had expertly ignored all her reminders everyday of how many days were left for her special day. His fifteen-year-old self had more important things to do, as he told her.

Right now the Malik family were in the car, Saad leaning on the window and snoring while her father drove to the nearest Pizza Hut for celebrating his little girl's happy day.

His smile never wore off his face throughout the whole ride. He was blessed to have such a beautiful family, and he thanked Allah everyday for that and much more.

"Marina?" Her mother's groggy voice spoke up, capturing her daughter's attention.

"Yes, ammi?" She looked up at her mother who looked tired as hell. Her mother had been exhausted for the past few weeks.

"Can you please hold Mahira for a while? My back is aching right now." Her mother said and Marina's ears perked up.

"Really?!" She voiced too loudly and her mother shushed her.

"Don't wake her up, she's finally sleeping anyways." Her mother whispered and she nodded.

She handed her to Marina and layed back and stretched her legs, relieving the pain. After all, giving birth wasn't an easy job for a woman.

Marina took the little bundle of joy in her arms, her left hand under the baby's neck and her right hand around her tiny waist.

She finally got to look at her baby sister closely. She realised she had features similar to both herself and Saad. Mahira had dark long eyelashes just like her big sister, and her hair was the same shade of brown as Saad's.

She stirred in her hands and Marina panicked. She knew she would get scolded for waking her sister up from her peaceful sleep.

And then her eyes suddenly opened and her baby sister smiled, her tiny fingers going straight in her mouth.

Marina knew she slept well as she didn't wake up and start screaming like in the past three weeks.

She gently pulled her hand out of her mouth and wiped the saliva on a tissue she grabbed from the car's door pocket.

'She's so beautiful, MashAllah.' Marina thought as she gazed down at her baby sister's large green eyes.

She slowly brought her hand to her face and delicately caressed little Mahira's cheek, her thumb feeling her silky smooth skin.

"I love you." She whispered softly to her baby sister who gazed up at her and smiled, kicking her tiny legs in the air as if telling Marina that she felt the same.

She bent down and kissed her forehead, her heart feeling at ease of holding the little blessing in her arms. She couldn't have asked for more happiness from her Lord.

There was a sudden jerk and the front of the car fell in a pothole and instantly came out, the vehicle still in full speed as the momentum caused it to roll ahead.

Screams were heard but the most prominent ones were the cries of the small three-week-old being. Marina held her close to he chest in a futile attempt to protect her.

The car was on it's third roll and it's front bounced, causing a sharp vibration to course through Marina and her baby sister fell from her arms instantly, Mahira's screams and cries dying out immediately.

The car did its last flip and ended up side down, the glass from all four sides shattering and piercing the passengers' skins in the most painful of ways.

Their father was the first one to unbuckle his seatbelt and get out of the car, his hands pushing his body to stand upright.

The doors had opened and he rushed outside despite of the searing pain through his shoulder.

He had to make sure if his family were okay.

A few people had gathered and helped their kids out, their father rushing over to them and checking if they were okay.

Saad had a few bruises on his face and Marina had several tiny cuts over her own face and arms, but there was a deep cut on her left cheek which didn't go unnoticed by her father.

One of the men who had arrived to help the family had dialled the ambulance. Another was helping out Mahira when their father looked back and saw his wife still hunched up in the car.

Nobody was there helping her so he rushed and pulled her out, her weight falling on his lap as he carried her and layed her on the ground.

He checked her pulse, his fingers feeling an all-too-familiar liquid as he wiped it and checked for her breathing.

Her pulse had weakened but she wasn't breathing.

Her father locked his fingers and brought them to his dear wife's chest and compressed it, her body being pushed down and up repeatedly for a good thirty seconds before he removed his hands.

He tilted her forehead and chin up, causing her mouth to open wide enough for him to press his on, pushing the air he had inhaled. He repeated the process until his wife gasped and opened her eyes wide.

"Meray bachay (my kids)!" She shouted as soon as she became conscious and both of them got up and rushed to their children.

Little Mahira had been brought out of the car and was in Marina's arms as she sobbed sadly, her tears falling on her baby sister who was covered in blood which pooled beneath her on the ground, the crimson liquid reflecting horror and agony to her.

Both kids had been saved by the men, and their parents couldn't have been more grateful, but there was no time to thank anyone at the moment.

The blaring sounds of sirens were heard, indicating everyone that the ambulance had arrived.

In that moment, Marina lost her balance and consciousness, her body and her baby sister just about to fall on the ground when her father grabbed her and her mother caught her baby just in time.

Marina was loaded on a stretcher and into the ambulance, the rest of her family following in.

She only had one thought before she had fell unconscious at that moment.

She was in pain.

Not because she was hurt.

But because her baby sister was hurt.

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After three hours, their parents had come out of the emergency rooms, their physical pain nothing compared to their emotional one.

Saad was still in there, the doctors working on his leg and back which had been injured. Marina was still not conscious at the moment as the doctors had told them.

Mahira had been declared dead at 10:23.

Their mother sat on the chair nearby and cried as she thought of her dead daughter. Her father decided to console her despite his own grieving heart.

"She was three weeks! Only three weeks!" Her hands covered her face as she sobbed, each cry squeezing her husband's heart repeatedly.

A tear fell from her husband's eye as he placed his hand gently on her back before pulling her to his chest, her sobs louder than ever.

"My baby is gone.." She whispered painfully, her husband rubbing her back despite his own cries.

"Sabiha," he said her name and she looked up before he continued, "it was destined to happen."

She nodded, the back of her hand wiping her tear-stained cheek.

"Allah doesn't have the intention to hurt us. These are just tests from which we learn lessons from. We shouldn't question what was in our destiny, as it happened for a reason we might never know, but it will be for our good InshAllah," he looked down at her, his eyes vulnerable, "I thought I was going to lose you too.."

She immediately hugged him tighter and let him cry on his shoulder, his tears soaking her shirt before he pulled away and placed a lingering kiss on her forehead.

He now wanted to cherish every moment in their family, despite the circumstances, as you might never know the person who might leave your life next.

The door to Marina's room opened and a doctor walked out and called out their names before indicating them to come inside.

Marina was layed down on her hospital bed, her head hung low. The voice of footsteps near her made her look up and she had instantly started crying, her hands on her face muffling her sobs.

"Ammi.. Mahira.." Her voice cracked when she uttered the name of her baby sister. Her mother nodded as she had nothing to say.

"H-how is s-she?" Marina asked and her parents froze.

She didn't know.

Marina had an ounce of hope that her baby sister was okay, and she held onto it.

Her father hesitated before uttering the truth, his voice seeping into the pits of agony.

"She passed away."

As soon as she heard that, her cries stopped for a moment as she looked up at her parents, her soul shattered.

"She's d-d-dead?" She whispered and her parents looked down, letting her know the answer too well.

Her sobs were louder this time as her mother and father walked up to her and wrapped her in a tight hug, one which indicated that they'll stick together through everything.

If she had held onto Mahira a little tighter, then none of this would've happened. She would've been alive right now if Marina had been slightly more careful.

That day, Marina grew an unknown fear of holding or dealing with babies.

She felt disgusted with herself. How could she kill her own sister?

She knew what she was now.

A murderer.

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"Hey hey, Maria." Shahroz started once he saw the bead of salty water trickle out of her eye, leading her to a never-ending river of tears.

She hadn't noticed she had started crying until her hand felt her cheek.

Indeed it was wet.

"Hey," he whispered, "come here."

She didn't move an inch from her seat, her tears were coming out faster and squeezing his heart painfully even more.

He scooted himself closer to her before wrapping his arms around her, his intention raw and pure of lessening her pain.

She shook under his hold and he wrapped his arms around her even tighter, one hand around her shoulders and the other around her back.

"Shhh it's okay Maria," he pulled back and looked into her eyes, his hands now on her shoulders only, "you're here and Allah has kept you strong till now. Everything had happened according to His will, and surely something good will come out of it, even if you don't know it till now. He is there, and He is watching over every single being He has created, and you're one of them."

His eyes held her captive as he said the words he didn't know he could utter or even think about. He was surprised by himself to say the least.

She was quietly sobbing now and he brought his hand near the right side of her face, his thumb lightly wiped her wet cheek before doing the same on her left cheek.

"B-but I k-killed her." Her voice still wavered and his eyes widened.

"Maria," he spoke softly, "you didn't kill her. It was an event destined by Allah to happen. You didn't do anything and you were only ten then! How could you possibly kill?"

She had calmed down but her voice was still uneasy as she spoke, "I-I thought y-you were going to d-die too," she looked up at him, her cheeks red due to crying, "the d-day your car c-c-crashed. I was s-scared."

He gave her a sad smile before lacing his fingers with hers and caressing her hands with his thumbs, the motion soothing her nerves.

"Oh, Maria." He mumbled quietly and she looked up at him, their gazes being locked as he thought of one thing only.

She was innocent.

So innocent for this world.

That he wanted to protect her.

Always.

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