Just like Thanksgiving, Christmas came along pretty fast and I had mixed feelings about it. It wasn't about the chicken and desserts which I did love eating, nor was it only about getting the family together to thank the Lord for what we had and did not have, it was a time to give and show love. A time to show how much our loved ones meant to us.

On Christmas eve yesterday, Mum had brought up the idea to go visit Father and I complied. The last time we went to the graveyard together was on his death anniversary last year so I was pretty nervous.

When we arrived, we both placed the white roses we brought on Father's gravestone but I held onto one because I wanted to place it on a particular headstone.

"He would've been so proud of you," Mother said, glancing at the rose in my hand, but breaking the silence that had fallen upon us since we arrived.

Nodding, I gave her a small smile in response. When she saw I wasn't going to continue the conversation, she knelt and placed a hand on Father's gravestone.

"It's almost Christmas Darl," she whispered and from where I stood, I knew she was going to burst into tears soon. "I miss you so much and I don't think it's going to get easier. They say time heals all wounds but it still feels... like I'm being stabbed daily. Your side of the bed—"

I turned away, not wanting to hear anymore. It wasn't getting easier and we both knew it. When I turned back around, I watched Mother kiss her hand and place it on the gravestone. It was obvious she still loved him and I felt bad the misfortune had to befall her when their marriage wasn't even falling apart.

Breathing deeply, I moved away from Dad's gravestone, past the tall leafless oak tree, and towards the gravestone I wanted to place the white rose on.

Citlali Jensen

1981-2013

Beloved mother and wife

The sudden ping of my phone brought me back to reality and I stretched my arms wide open, grateful to be alive. I rubbed my eyes, blinking a few times to regain my vision before picking my phone up from the nightstand and unlocking it. I grinned widely when I saw the texts from my friends.

'omg! omg!!! i can't b liv it's alread Xmas daesyn!!! merry Xmas.' My eyes twitched at Melanie's text, but I ignored my inner grammar Nazi and responded similarly with multiple winky faces.

'Merry Christmas, Daesyn boo.' I returned Clara's greeting with a smile on my face before opening the next text.

Stupid Wyatt sent one similar to Clara's but with multiple smirking emojis while I did the same, except I added multiple fuck you emojis at the end. Yes, I was still mad at him even if theoretically speaking, he just wanted Caelum and me to sort things out.

I opened Emery's text last, my heart clenching when I realized I didn't receive any from Caelum but smiled regardless. It was Christmas after all.

'Damn daesyn. dis is our first Christmas as friends and I'm glad we sorted tings out. merry Christmas from the Jensen's!!! dad and mum send deir greetings.'

'Merry Christmas to you too Em. I'm glad we sorted things out too, but how's he?'

She responded seconds later and I bit my cheeks.

'he's ok, bt I knw he'll come arnd. Merry Christmas from him too tho.'

All the progress I thought we'd made for the past few months were going to waste just because he didn't want to explain things. It was cool though. He was free to act like I didn't mean anything to him, I wasn't going to force him to speak to me.

Standing, I walked to my closet and picked out my clothes for the day, a fluffy pajama pants mum bought when she went to the mall and some random T-shirt. I wasn't dressing to impress and even if I wanted to, Brett wasn't coming until dinner so I had enough time to prepare.

After my morning routine, I picked the gift I bought for mum from my desk—stylishly checking if Caelum sent any text and seeing none—before walking downstairs for breakfast.

The Christmas tree we dragged from the storage room some nights ago stood in all its glory and I placed mum's gift under before going to the kitchen.

Mum was humming the tune to a familiar Christmas song as she gracefully moved around the kitchen. She was dressed in her stay-at-home T-shirt and baggy shorts and I wondered why she wasn't already dressed for dinner with Brett. I snickered at my thoughts before making my presence known. "Merry Christmas, Mother."

She turned around, a huge smile gracing her lips. "Merry Christmas to you too, my darling."

Watching her reaction closely, I pursed my lips. "Not that I'm not happy to see you happy, because I am, but why are you so excited?"

She returned her attention to the omelet in the pan. "Nothing."

"Sure..." I drawled, pulling out a chair and making myself comfortable on it.

"Okay, fine!" I could hear the smile in her voice, and my curiosity grew. "Guess what?"

"Uhh... you're pregnant?"

She giggled. "No, of course not."

I laughed, propping my elbows on the table. "Tell me, Mother. What is it?"

"I broke up with Brett!"

Since there was no water to spit out to act dramatic, I settled for the regular jaw-dropping. "What? When did that happen? Why are you so happy about it?"

"Last night." She shrugged. "I broke up with him last night."

"Jesus Christ, mum," I groaned. "How could you end things on Christmas eve?"

"Don't worry about him," she placed a plate in front of me before dishing the food out and I immediately dug in. "He had it coming."

"But... but, you said you loved him!"

She wrinkled her nose at my open mouth but nodded. "Agapely."

"Unbelievable," I muttered.

Honestly speaking, I was glad she ended things with Brett but a part of me felt bad for the poor guy. He was a nice man, and I genuinely wanted to meet him again tonight, but we couldn't always get what we wanted.

"What is unbelievable?" she asked, coming to sit beside me.

I thought of my words carefully—because I knew break-ups were a touchy subject—before talking. "Why do I feel there's more to what you're letting on?"

"Fine, you caught me." She sighed. "We ended things days ago."

"Come on," I groaned. "You didn't even tell me about all these."

She sighed again. "When he came over for Thanksgiving, he didn't pay attention to all our picture frames on the wall, so the last time he came to visit, he saw the similarities... and then we tried to make do of the situation and I realized I never really loved him. I just thought I could see Dale in him."

My heart completely shattered so I stood and walked closer to her before engulfing her in a hug. "Oh, momma."

I'd always had a feeling mum loved him because she thought she could find Father in him, but it was still sad seeing her in this state. "I'm sorry," I muttered loud enough for her to hear and she chuckled.

"Don't be baby, it's all good."

After breakfast and our little moment, we retreated to the living room to exchange our gifts. I was curious to see what she got me this year, even if I'd received the same monetary gifts every other Christmas. A lot of things happened this year, and a lot of things changed between us so my curiosity was justified.

"Open yours first." I stretched the gift towards her with a smile. "I can wait."

She collected it, then opened it. "Wow." She picked out the extraordinary whipped birthday cake sugar ice-cream scrub and smiled. "This is so cute."

I nodded in agreement. The name was pretty long and weird, but it smelt so good. Like cake, ice-cream, and everything nice. The packaging was amazing too, so I picked it out for her.

As a young broke lady, I could only afford some things, so I bought the scrub which caused a large dent in my savings, a golden twin necklace, and two gift sets. I knew she could buy them if she wanted to, but I hoped she could tell it came directly from my heart.

When she was finally done admiring the packaging of the scrub, she stretched mine towards me and I immediately tore the wrapper open.

I pursed my lips.

There were like three extra pajama sets in there and I wondered if she kept buying those pajamas purposely, or if she wanted me to have a pajama collection. There were also some regular tees and some gift cards in it, and I gave her a small smile which clearly said, "Wow mum, I didn't know I needed more clothes."

She chuckled at the expression on my face before stretching out a silver necklace. "I bought it a while ago, but we had some issues so I never gave it to you."

I stared at it for a moment longer before collecting it. It was gorgeous. And a lot better than the other gifts. "Thanks, Mum!" I grinned. "Best Christmas present ever!"

She chuckled, gesturing for me to scoot closer. "Let me put it on for you."

I gave it back to her with a nod and turned around so she could place it around my neck.

"Hey," she suddenly said. "You haven't talked about that boy in weeks."

"What boy?" I asked, admiring the pendant on my neck.

"Your tutoring boy," she replied and I held in a laugh at the nickname.

"Caelum?" I asked, and she nodded. "We're taking a break."

"Well, what did you do?"

With a roll of my eyes, I said, "I'm not always at fault, y'know?"

She laughed. "I didn't mean it that way, honey."

Nodding, I cracked my knuckles. "Do you remember those notes you used to make fun of?"

She furrowed her brows. "What notes?"

"Ugh!" I groaned, turning my face that probably looked like a tomato away. "The notes I received from an admirer. Do you remember?"

"Did you have a secret admirer?" she asked, looking genuinely confused and I frowned.

"Never mind," I said. "Let's talk about something else.

She chuckled. "I remember it all, so continue."

I bit my tongue to prevent myself from saying something snarky before continuing. "It was Caelum."

"What?" Her mouth literally scraped the floor, and I would've burst out laughing at the look on her face if this wasn't something serious.

"My reaction exactly," I said and she gestured for me to continue.

With a sigh, I explained everything that happened—leaving out the amazing kiss and my embarrassing waterworks saga.

"So, what you're saying," she finally spoke after processing my words. "Is that Emery, your best friend, became friends with you to bring you and Caelum closer?"

I nodded.

"And Caelum, the boy who you like, had a crush on you all these years and he never said anything to you because he was afraid you were going to judge him, am I right?"

I nodded again.

"In conclusion, he's mad at you because you wanted to know the reason why he didn't tell you?"

"Yes." I nodded. "I asked him to explain why he didn't tell me anything, but then he said he wanted us to take a break from a relationship that hasn't even begun."

"I think he's just hurt and not angry," she said and I snorted. "The fact that you didn't recognize him when he came back would've hurt him. But, even after all the time you spent together, it didn't trigger some kind of memory? You still didn't see any similarities between him in middle school, and him now?"

"Uh..." I trailed off, not knowing what to say.

It was understandable that he would've been hurt after everything, but why couldn't he stop running away when things were starting to become complicated? I didn't see what the issue was in explaining things to me.

"Yeah." Mother nodded. "He's probably just hurt and not angry, but you said Emery said something about Caelum not telling you anything because he was afraid you were going to judge. Did something happen to him back then?"

"I don't really remember," I lied.

Well, it wasn't completely a lie since most of the things I knew about him and his mother were from the rumors circulating school.

Yeah, I knew Caelum's mum. She was our music teacher.

She had that smile so genuine. The one that made you wonder if there was anybody better than her. She had the right blend of confidence to put a classroom in order, and she made us more like a big family than a classroom.

She was truly amazing.

Thinking about it now, it was weird I didn't fix all these pieces together earlier. Caelum and Emery indirectly dropped so many hints but I never paid attention to their words. I should've placed meanings behind every word they spoke.

The first time I saw Caelum at the graveyard, I didn't pay attention to the name on the headstone, neither did I put effort to understand what he meant when we were talking.

Citlali's change wasn't something that happened overnight.

Every single day, I noticed something different about her. The genuine smiles were the first ones to go, her excited laughs went next, the happiness behind her eyes disappeared, and before I knew it, she completely changed.

She no longer tolerated speaking in class, and if a student made her angry, she was going to give all of us detentions at recess or after school. It was weird that the one teacher we looked up to once upon a time became worse than the teachers we hated.

Caelum Jensen was in my class all through middle school and as his mother changed, the other students took it out on him. It was clear why I had never tried to piece Caelum and Aatami together. Not once in my wildest dreams did I expect Aatami to come back to Hill-wood after everything he went through.

"Honey, you wanna tell me the reason you not-so-subtly changed the subject about Caelum," Mother asked and I shook my head, my thoughts running wild.

-

Author's note:

Okay, while I was re-reading the first few chapters some nights ago, I realized there were so many weird hints I unknowingly dropped.

It was kinda weird, but I was happy because I got inspirations from them lol.

I know this isn't the best chapter out there, but I hope you enjoyed reading it just as much as I enjoyed writing it.

You'll see more of Caelum soon, and I'm pretty sure this book is coming to an end (I think there are four chapters left!)

One more thing, what chapter do you want to read from Caelum's POV?

Please leave your votes and comments if you enjoyed reading it <333