The week goes by in a blur, but I start to feel like myself as the days pass. Daisy and Jess don't know what happened, or at least they act like they don't, but I can see they know something is wrong. Maybe Jamie told them to give me some space and I really appreciate that.

I spend a lot of time thinking about the weekend. I go through everything in my head countless times and every time I do, I see something different. I see how scared I was, but then I remember who Matt is. I remember how loving he is, how much he cares. He would never hurt me. Right?

Maybe I can understand his actions. He was looking after me. It was probably an overreaction, sure, but it was still coming from a good place, one that was filled with love. Right?

These thoughts keep coming up every now and then until I finally see the logic and believe them.

It's finally Friday and I'm looking forward to an art festival some of Jess' friends were organizing this Sunday. I'm walking back to my dorm and I feel my phone buzzing in my pocket.

It's a text from Matt.

I haven't heard from him since Jamie kicked him out on Sunday.

💙

Hey Pumpkin

Can you come over tonight?

I miss you

I miss you too

I'll be there in 30

I get back to my room to drop my books and some things I'd need to spend the night at Matt's. I lock the door when I leave my room and bump into someone when I turn around.

"Hey!" I look at the person and see it's Jamie. "I was just coming to see you."

"Really? What for?"

"I can't understand something from class today and was wondering if maybe you could help..." Her eyes drop to my big bag. "But I guess you're going somewhere."

"I'd love to help, but I'm going to Matt's and my Uber is already outside." Her face drops.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, it shows on the app where-"

"No. Are you sure you want to go there?"

"Yes... everything's ok. We figured it out, it's fine." I smile and start walking towards the elevators.

"Allie, I don't-"

"Jamie." I turn to face her. "I'm ok, I promise." I smile to reassure her.

She stays silent until the elevator arrives. I step in and wave goodbye.

"Call me." Her words get to me before the door closes.

"Hey, Pumpkin!" Matt opens the door for me and pulls me in for a hug. "I've missed you so much!"

"I've missed you too."

"I've been so stressed. This week was crazy. I had to write a huge paper on the Boston Tea Party for one class and it drained me. And next year is my senior year... But now you're with me." He leans in for a kiss. "Let's not waist time." He picks me up and takes me to his room.

He drops me on his bed while kissing me roughly and I somewhat respond. His lips trail down my neck and I close my eyes. I try to focus, but my mind doesn't want to. I try really hard to enjoy what he's doing, but it doesn't work.

"Matt?" I speak softly, but he doesn't answer me. Instead his hands find their way under my shirt. "Matt" I raise my voice a little and he hums in response. "I'm not really in the mood right now."

His hands keep lifting my shirt and his lips are still on my neck. "We can fix that." He whispers and his lips come back to mine harshly.

I try to push him away, but he's too heavy, I turn my face to the side. "Matt, please. We can do this later. I'm not in the mood right now."

He pulls off, but instead of getting off of me, his hands grab the button of my jeans and he starts opening it.

"Matt." I raise my voice and try to take his hands off. "Matt! Stop it!" I push a few times until I can get him off and he falls backwards on the bed. "I told you I don't want to do any of this right now! Didn't you hear me?" I yell at him.

"Are you serious?"

"Of course I am!"

He looks at me for a few seconds. "I'm sorry." He gets off the bed and leaves his room.

"Is everything ok?" I yell, still sitting on the bed.

"Yeah, I'm just going to take a shower." I hear the bathroom door close.

I lay back and stay deep in thought. I don't understand what is going on with us. I get my phone to distract myself while Matt is in the shower.

I scroll through many posts, play a few different games, but he is taking way too much time to take a shower. I check the time and see it's been nearly two hours since he left me here.

I get off the bed and head to the bathroom, but the door is open and the lights are off. "Matt?" I turn around to look through the rooms, but I can't find him. I start to get worried.

Did he leave?

"Matt? Are you there?" I enter the kitchen and see him siting on the island stool, his back turned to me. "Matt, what is going on? Are you avoiding me?" I get to his side and take a look at the countertop in front of him.

My eyes go wide at the many empty bottles of beer.

"Did you drink all of this?!" I scream and look at his face, but he doesn't look back or make a sound. "Answer me, Matthew!"

He never had a sip of alcohol in his life. His mother is an alcoholic, so he decided to not even risk it. But now he drank over a dozen beers in less than two hours.

"Matt." His eyes are still out of focus. "How many bottles did you drink?" The room stays silent. "How long have you been drinking? Were you drunk when I saw you last week?"

"Why do you care?" His eyes meet mine and I see anger.

I step around the island, but don't back down. "Because I know why you don't drink! You told me so many stories about your mom and that you would never do that to yourself."

"It doesn't matter. I can do whatever the fuck I want." He gets off his seat and grabs another bottle from the fridge.

"Matthew, stop." I walk towards him. "Give me that beer."

"No." He opens the lid and takes a sip.

"Give me the beer." He keeps staring at me, so I try to take the bottle from him.

He pushes me off of him, but I tray again and again and again.

"Stop it, Allison!" He screams in my face.

"No! Give me the fucking-" My cheek stings.

I feel the burn. The pain. The shame. And the tears.

"Get the fuck out of my face!" He turns his back to me and goes back to the counter.

I stand there with my feet glued to the ground.

He hit me.

Matt hit me in the face.

The tears start coming out of my eyes like waterfalls.

It's the alcohol.

It's not Matt. That's not him.

I manage to move my feet back to his bedroom. I get all my things and call an Uber.

I leave the house without a sound and wait for the car to arrive.

It's ok. I'm ok. Matt will be himself again when he's sober.