Alex(M)

Magnus wasn't coming out of his room, the ravens had been trying to get him out for hours, along with Sam and T.J., but they had no luck, he didn't even say anything to them.

I was sitting at the table gnawing at my lip, the seat next to me empty, and waiting. Suddenly Sam flew in and tapped my shoulder "Could you come help?"

"Why would I help any?" I scoffed, Magnus probably wouldn't respond to me if he didn't to her.

Sam rolled her eyes "Because Magnus and you are friends, at least he wants to be yours, so he might respond to you."

I shrugged, looking down at my plate of mashed potatoes and eggs "Fine."

She flew me all the way up to the 19th floor and to Magnus' door. When T.J. saw me he backed away from the door and saluted me "Alex! Let's hope you can help with this."

I nodded and awkwardly knocked on the door "Maggie, Beantown, it's me, please at least let me in."

Saying please wasn't something I did often, so he'd better been honored.

There was a slight click and the door opened an inch "Only Alex."

I was surprised at Magnus' voice, it was hoarse and shaky, not something I was used to hearing from him. I stepped inside and the door slammed behind me. Jack was floating at the handle, having been the one to close the door.

"Be careful," Jack whispered.

I nodded and headed inside. His room was much like mine, but with less pottery equipment and dresses. The sky outside was bright and there were almost no clouds, but the curtains were halfway drawn, sending a beam of light to Magnus' bed.

I tiptoed over to the bed and saw him crumpled up in a little ball, cradling a picture frame.

"Hey man, what's wrong?" I whispered.

He muttered something I couldn't hear, I sat on the edge of his bed and got closer "Huh?"

"It's the anniversary of her death," Magnus sniffled.

He had lifted his head, revealing that his hair was sticking to his face with tears and his eyes were red. He was so broken that I almost gasped out loud.

"Your mom?" I asked.

He nodded "I know I'm being ridiculous but, it's the first year since she died that I've had a home, a family. Am I betraying her Alex? Now that I have new a family?"

I shook my head and moved his hair from his face "No, you aren't Magnus, you're honoring her by being happy."

He laughed a little, letting more tears stream down his cheeks "You remind me of her, so much."

My face must have been stuck in some weird expression because he laughed again.

"Is that surprising?" He asked.

"Well, yeah. How do I remind you of her? Because I know that I am not the mom type most of the time."

"She really liked the outdoors, we'd go on camping trips all the time. Her laugh was just like yours, and you smell similar too, just minus the clay scent. You two would have gotten along so well," he whispered.

I got closer to him, I didn't understand what it was like to miss a parent, but I did understand what it was like to miss someone, I wanted him to know that.

He slowly pushed the blanket off of himself, revealing his little stomach that was softly toned and tan. As he sat up I rubbed circles on his back, doing what I had seen in movies at shelters when someone needed to be comforted.

I looked down at the picture, it was a young woman, holding what looked like a much younger version of Magnus (about eight) in her arms by a waterfall. Her hair was being swept across her face, she had the same eyes as him, not in color (hers were green) but in the intensity, like a storm.

I looked back up at Magnus to see that he had stopped crying mostly, and was now examining me.

"Thanks Alex. Sorry you had to see all that, I'm not usually that emotional, at least not in front of people," he sighed.

I took his face in my hands and looked him straight in the eyes "There's no shame in showing emotion Magnus, it just proves you're human, at least, mostly, in our cases."

He smiled weakly at me, holding one of my hands to his cheek with his own "You're so nice when you aren't trying to kill me."

I drew my hand away and stuck my tongue out at him "I'm not nice, what are you taking about?"

Magnus smiled a little, making small dimples appear in his cheeks, along with a slight blush.

"Yeah, my mom would have loved you."

He took my hand in his again, sending a surprising shiver down my spine. He traced my fingers with his, humming a quiet song.

"Your hands are so soft," he muttered, slowly lacing our fingers together.

I stared down at our hands for a moment, he was gripping mine and I was (to my own surprise) doing the same to his. His hands were much bigger than mine, and warmer.

When I looked back up at him I saw that he still had tears in his stormy eyes, which made me want to cry. I let go of his hands and quickly wrapped my arms around his chest, squeezing slightly.

"I'm really sorry about your mom Magnus," I whispered.

I could feel his heart rate speed up, every second that I held him it got a little faster, till it could be that of a hummingbird. He cautiously wrapped his arms around me, one hand on my lower back, and the other just below my neck. He buried his head in my neck and cried a little more. It was less desperate though, more slow, controlled crying. His sobs were quiet, but his tears seeped through my shirt, and onto my shoulder. I rubbed his back once again, then slowly raked one hand through his soft, golden hair.

"It's my fault, and now I'm replacing her," he whispered.

"Magnus nothing is your fault, and just because you have other people in your life doesn't mean you are replacing her, you're just making friends, and having a bigger family! She would want you to be happy," I said, holding him tighter.

Magnus looked up from my shoulder, tears still streaming down "It is my fault, they came to kill me-"

I cut him off, not wanting his own words to hurt him. My lips moved against his slowly and carefully, I didn't want to break him. He kissed back, he stopped crying and was now hugging me so tight that I almost couldn't breathe. I cupped his tear stained face in my hands and pulled away, panting.

"Nothing's your fault Maggie."

He smiled weakly "If you say so."

"I'm serious, it's not like your mom would have traded your life for hers, so don't act like yours is something you stole from her. You didn't kill your mom."

He nodded, I kissed him slightly again and helped him lay down. My own heart was beating like a drum against my chest, I had just kissed Magnus Chase, not once, but twice, and he kissed me back.

We laid there for a while, he played with my hair and I just stared into his eyes, he was so tired.

"Did you stay up last night?" I muttered.

"Yeah, I was afraid of having nightmares, of that night," he responded.

I sighed and held one of his hands, kicking my shoes off, and pulling the covers over us with one hand.

"Well I'm here now. I can help, if you still have nightmares I can at least help calm you down."

He nodded in thanks and leaned towards me, I met him halfway and kissed him softly, then he put an arm around me and fell asleep spooning me.

I eventually drifted off too, I prayed to all of the gods in existence that Magnus would have a restful sleep, he deserved it.