I CAN NOT be this nervous right? I feel like my hands are about to shake off my body, literally. It's just move-in day, not the end of the world right? I feel an impending doom in my chest. Maybe this isn't such a good idea. This college thing is pretty serious, stop. Stop. I'm going to be fine, I'm going to be better than fine, it's going to be good. I'm getting away, I'm finally getting away from the monster I live with.

I walk towards my small twin bed and grab my bag as I hear the yelling from downstairs. "Come on Ellie let's go, we are going to be late for your sign in if you do not hurry up!" My mom Amanda shouts. She's just happy she'll get child support even when I'm not here.

I don't even understand what her problem is, it's not like she is moving 3 hours away from the only place she has lived her whole life. Granted, I do not want to be here with her and her famous attitudes swings after my parents divorce. She's the most evil person I've ever met. It started close to a year ago that she lost her mind. She's abusive, neglectful and downright evil, I can't even look at her the same anymore. She used to be an amazing mom and then a switch flipped in her brain. That's the same day I lost my mom, now she's Amanda.

This year has been one of the hardest for me from my parents expensive divorce, to the fact that because of that expensive divorce my college fund disappeared, to the fact that I was now going to my second choice of college. My life was amazing, I played softball with my parents support, was a primary school volunteer, and loved it but now, I work a job with minimum wage just to live. It's a crappy restaurant with overpriced food and fake bitches, I fit right in when I flip that switch. I wear tight pants, and act all kind, just so I can feed myself and pay my bills.

I'm not upset about going to Alabama College, I just wish I would have been able to get further away, maybe Canada or Russia. No, that's still not far enough away.

I also am not looking forward to all the rednecks and even more southern people. I always hear they are nice but, the few I've met at work aren't all that friendly. Living in Eastern Alabama I thought that I had my share of "southern hospitality" but I hate it here, I have since the day I was born. Which is why I desperately wanted to get into NYU and take nothing but my money and clothes and start over. I wanted to start over and get my nursing degree while working in one of the best hospitals in the country, but it didn't work out. Waitlisted, just like everywhere else. A few colleges in North Carolina, and even South Carolina offered me full tuition but Alabama, Alabama brought me to tears with their offer.

But I'm still stuck here, in Alabama close to Amanda but also close to my father. I want to see my dad finally and college here will make that still happen, so it's not all bad. I haven't talked to him in so long. My mom cut off all contact with my father, and left me completely heartbroken. She takes his child support and that's about it. Little does she know I'm going to talk to him whether she likes it or not. After today, I'm calling him. She can't monitor what I do anymore.

I can't even put into words how much she's hurt me over the years. From killing my dreams of a family for my graduation, to the dream of being able to buy my own new car after graduating. But I didn't know how she would change and effect that and my college decision.

I did what I could do which included working my butt off to get into one of the only colleges around that would take all of my Academic scholarship money considering I was graduating a year early.

I have always wanted to take Nursing as my college major. I love helping people and Alabama College offered to pay for everything involving my schooling, from textbooks, to my room and board, to toilet paper, all of it. I think I knew I wanted to be a nurse when my mom and dad were fighting and she threw her red pumps at him and caused a cut on his leg. I had to help him clean it up since she didn't care and I knew I wanted to help other people in the same situation. People hurt, and people who needed someone, not a doctor that's an asshole. Someone who cares, and I have never had that amount of support, which is why I want to help other people with that.

So I did what any sane person would do and took their offer to get away from the constant arguing of my mother, not me because she doesn't care what I have to say, and judgmental small town. This place is hopeless, it's so small everyone knows your business and I'm sick of getting looks because of my mentally unstable mother and hardworking but underrated father that has always been there for me.

"Ellie lets go!!" she yells again. "I'm coming in just a second?" I question back, looking around my room to see if I missed anything. I'm not missing anything but I know I'm never coming back to this room and I made sure to take all of my stuff, which does not consist of much anyway, to my car last night. Once I discover that looking around for the 50th time to see nothing new is a waste of time, I walk down the stairs into the kitchen where she is waiting by the door in her full glory of a pantsuit. I adjust my bag of necessities on my shoulder as I look at her.

Although we were in not in anyway able to afford it she would not give up her expensive clothing, she would just ask for more child support from my father. Something I've found over the past few months which was her favorite thing to do, lucky for me and not for her, that ends in December when I turn eighteen. I can't wait because she pleas and begs my dad for money, it's always, "Ellie needs money for lunch, Ellie needs some new shoes, Ellie needs new tires, Ellie needs more for gas in her car" and it never goes to me. She pockets every dime and that's the sad part, I know he would give me everything he had but it's not going to me. I can't imagine how bad he's struggling right now, he has a really great job but the expenses are to much for anyone to keep up with. Him included, which is why he only has a small apartment and gave her the house to raise my in, but I hate my childhood home. Especially since I watch her bring home new men every week, new men who use her, eat the groceries I buy, and skip out after the tenth round of sex. I just hate she's so shallow she doesn't realize what's going on.

"Are you done now?" she scolds yelling and looking at me, and I know exactly why.

I had straightened my long dark brown hair this morning, put on light makeup to enhance my bright blue eyes, and put lotion on my tanned skin because I knew she would end up criticizing me on my knees not being moisturized or something picky she likes to find. She hit me a few days ago so l applied extra lotion to my leg to help with the swelling too, I can't open the freezer because of the lock on it so I never can get ice. She's locked everything she needs, I made the mistake of taking ice cubes one time, and now, I can't even have cold water because of her.

She loves criticizing me on my height which is 5'11" from my dads side of the family. It's not like I can control having to buy extra tall jeans, size women's 11 shoes, and an extra large butt that God decided to curse me with. She always jokes about "the giraffe in the room" around me and it hurts, especially since I can't control it. I remember her hating the dress I wore to my graduation ceremony a month or two ago, her exact response was, "You look like a whore and I do not approve" while I walked to the auditorium to graduate. I covered my tears by my cap and long hair but that's the day I decided to stop taking it so personal. I know my dress was more than appropriate, and I looked beautiful in my opinion even if it was from a consignment shop.

But what made it worse was that she talked with the other moms like she loved me, she hugged me and was so excited and then, when we got home she demanded I rip that dress to shreds because I embarrassed her.

I am wearing a old oversized band tee with ripped jeans and strappy sandals but of course she does not approve. The jeans have holes which came from ripping them cleaning cum from the bathroom floor, something she doesn't know I found. They are just five years old and dry rotted, and the shirt is the only clean thing I had to wear. If she would actually use the child support on me, this wouldn't be an issue. I wear whatever I can find that's clean, including old stuff of my dads and my makeup products are directly from the dollar store clearance, usually to cover bruises and scratches.

She gives me those blue judgement eyes of hate just like everyday and I can't wait to get away from her to clear my head. She is really a monster, a bipolar monster at that.

"I'm ready now, I was just checking my room really quick, we can go, I'm sorry" I tell her and walk out the kitchen door with my last bag on my shoulder. Hopefully I didn't make her mad enough to hit me.

I already had taken most of my bags to the car last night anyway. She didn't lift a finger to help but, luckily I don't have much at all. A mini fridge, a bedding set, a trash can, and clothes is about it. I learned that selling stuff that wasn't a necessity is the only way I had dinner very quickly so I'm only taking the bare minimum. And my dad slipped items into my car last night while Amanda was asleep so he could help me. I jumped out the laundry room window to go hug him and tell him that I loved him before I left. He's the only real man I've ever met and I love him.

She follows locking the door and going to her car as I hear the clicking of her heels behind me. She just wants to see me checked in and help me set up my dorm like all those perfect parents do, only she is far from it, everything with her is for show. She's going to pretend she loves me around my roommate and her family, followed by her scolding me outside. She's fake, loving and kind to me in public only to try and hit me in private, luckily I have learned to avoid the punches.

I however was going to my car, the one thing I'm proud of. My old, beat up Honda has been my pride and joy from waitressing for the past year. It is not in perfect shape but then again when you only have about four thousand to buy a car with it never is. I literally saved every penny possible and waitress five nights a week for it, including the insurance.

I get in as the engine rattles and then starts as I let out a "Thank you" while looking towards the sky. I back out of my car space and go out of town and onto the freeway with her behind me and I can't help but think about how my life was about to change for the better.

Without her drama I can finally breathe. She's not going to control me after today, I'm free.

I speed up and some random song starts playing and I can't help but think about how in just four short years I will be out from around this place working in a hospital and taking care of people, never coming back this way again. Never, and I'm taking my dad with me, wherever I go, I'm never coming back.

My hearts so contempt with the idea of that, I'm out.

~~~~

"Hey bro you ready to leave?" my dad says as I groan and turn around on my bed just to see my mom all dressed in her Alabama gear I had given her from my endless supply. She looks cute, all motherly and supportive. Sage's little shit Yorkie, Tiny comes into my room and jumps on the bed as she snuggles into my neck and licks all over my face. I pick her up and place her on the floor as she barks waking me fully up.

"I'm so happy to leave that little shit" I demand as Tiny rubs all over my moms legs and then runs back down the hall to what I'm assuming is Sage's room, hell she might be messing with Noah or Tucker.

"Get up, coach just called me. You need to be in the dorms by 10 AM. You have a meeting at 12 with the dean and chancellor about some of your scholarship money funds" my dad says as I nod. I know I need to get up but I'm kind of just enjoying my bed for a minute longer. I also know that the dean and chancellor won't leave me the fuck alone about my scholarships. I get that my tuition is covered in full, but it's for football, not academics and I really don't give a shit about keeping my grades up. I just want to play football.

"Yeah, just give me a minute to throw on some clothes old man" I tease at my dad who although was older now, I still know could beat my ass up with one hand. The NFL did him good, that plus muscle milk and the gym. He's so fucking famous though that my coaches ask him for advice and shit so I know he's not going anywhere. He's going to be at the campus whenever he's not playing football anymore, I know he will.

I want to be that for my son one day. I think he's set the standard for what I know I need to be.

I look over at my mom as I sit up and throw a shirt over my head and she looks like she might burst into tears any minute. She's always been the emotional one. When Tucker, Noah and I played together last year in the border bowl between Alabama and Mississippi she cried. She was so happy all her babies were there including Sage who was on the cheer team.

I look over at her, "We haven't even made it to campus yet and you're a mess." I smile while she continues crying, "Just wait until a few weeks when I'm playing on the field and then start crying" I say why she just laughs. I make my way up to her and give her a long hug. I'm going to miss her, she's the most supportive mom ever and anyone would be lucky to have her. I love my parents but I will always be a small mom's boy. She's told me it's because I'm her oldest but I know it's because she doesn't want me to go away.

"Meet us downstairs in a few minutes when you put on some clothes son and shower" I nod as my dad talks to me. I will never be disrespectful to him, he's given me and my siblings everything. I know I need to shower though, I partied last night and fucked Gillian in the backseat of her car and then came home and feel asleep in nothing but jeans.

He smiles and pats me on the back walking out and grabbing my mom on her butt as he walks through the door. They are so in love, I'm not ready for that emotional shit. He just holds her when she cries and loves her, and I don't know how to do that without being mad that a woman's touching me. I don't like women touching me, and I never have.

I go to my walk-in closet and pick up some jeans and a football tee making my way to my bathroom for a quick shower.

I start it and laugh at my neck in the bathroom mirror, it's covered in hickeys that I know my mom and dad didn't see. My mom would have threw a fit over these. Gillian's crazy is all I can say, she loves my neck and chest. I told her last night our fucking was over but she wanted to end it on with something she would remember.

We played beer pong together, she sucked me off in the hall closet and then we went to her car outside and fucked because all of the rooms in the house we were at were taken. She took all of me as I held her by her neck and did not let her touch me. I don't like her hands on me, kissing is my limit. She knows to let me take control and only take what I give her. So we fucked five times before she was so sore she couldn't walk in her heels.

Just thinking about her body still gets me hard. I like to fuck her for hours but I need something else, something that keeps me satisfied not something that makes me want to scream when they talk.

I grab a towel and look in the mirror for a few solid seconds fixing my dark hair. My tan has developed from the endless summer workouts, my skin and muscle tone has developed over the summer, which has become more massive. Finally my huge 6'4" height I was given from my dad who happened to be and retired NFL football player, my fucking dream has skyrocketed. He's really what I want to be, I want a career and a family just like him, not yet though, I still want to have fun.

Last year I was six foot and a hundred and ninety pounds, this year I'm six foot four and two fifty, almost double what I used to be, all from working out all day during the summer.

I tuck my dick in my jeans and put on the rest of my clothes going downstairs, my dad doesn't like to wait on anything. I know my mom's about to get all fucking emotional over this shit, this time with tears.

Mom is sitting on the barstool with dad behind her probably talking dirty in her ear when I make my way into the kitchen. They do this shit everyday, I would think they would get tired of each other by now.

My other brothers Tucker, and Noah are still asleep from the football camp they have been at all week, while my sister Sage is away at cheer camp. The little shit Tiny is probably in her room because she misses her. Safe to say my parents were no strangers to sex from having 4 fucking kids. My mom would die if she knew how much I fucked though, it's only been about eight girls but Gillian's the main one. She's only about connivence, not that I want her.

"I am entering the kitchen don't fuck on the barstool" I tell my dad. He just laughs,"You better get you ass in the car then before I show your mom exactly what I was saying I was going to do to her when we get home" he replies with a grin.

Mom pushes his arms and scolds at me, "Stop cussing in my house Tanner or I will whip your ass! You're not to big you know?" but I just smile. She's not intimidating at all, 5'2 doesn't really scare me.

I know exactly what they do almost every night with their 18, and 17 year old kids knowing we do the same things almost everyday, well not Sage, the boys from town know not to touch her or my dad, brothers and I would chop off their dicks.