I have to admit, ever since I'd joined the Survey Corps, I knew in my heart of hearts that Erwin wasn't a bad guy.

When Isabel, Farlan and I were down in that dirty, germ infested underground, we had to do anything to survive. Jobs to get money, ration our food...sometimes even sell our bodies for a week or so if things got that desperate. It truly was a nightmare down there. Until we got given that job, and Erwin and the scouts came for us.

They captured us and forced us to join. Erwin looked like a gentleman, but his true behaviour startled me. He'd throw insult after insult at me and my friends, but that was only to prod at us. He knew why we were there. He knew, yet didn't give anything away.

When my friends died on his mission and he insulted them once again for being pathetic and too weak to fight back, I thought that was the last straw. He wasn't allowed to breath one more breath of oxygen on this earth, not if I could help it, was my only thought at the time. I had to kill him, right there and then. However, As I lashed out and discovered the truth, I was shocked and disgusted. He let my friends die for nothing. He could've owned up to knowing before, and they wouldn't be gone. I was alone again because of him.

I didn't know at the time how guilty he felt for that.

As he rode away in his horse, surrounded by the corpses of his fallen comrades, he turned to face Farlan. Even if it was a small glance, I could see it in his eyes then. The flame of desire. He was reaching for something not me or anyone could see. This man was hoping to do great things, and he would. The determination inside of him was like an invisible aura that affected everyone around him, even me. So I trusted him from that day forth.

Erwin's generosity and kindness leapt out from nowhere and slapped me in the face once I had returned to Trost. He'd always be there doing little things, like making me tea or opening doors. As if he was trying to amend for the loss I'd experienced. It didn't work.

Until he invited me to his office one night and asked if I wanted to talk. I remember saying no the first few times he asked, but a few weeks after he'd first suggested it, I reluctantly agreed. When he started climbing out the window though, I thought he'd lost the plot. He disappeared above, and I had rushed towards the window and looked up, slightly concerned but not willing to admit it. He'd jokingly asked if I wanted a hand.

I didn't want to go up there. I wondered why on Earth we couldn't just sit in his office and talk, especially since it was night, and the temperature wasn't the warmest. That one part of my mind told myself that I couldn't let him down, though, so I followed him up onto the roof.

We sat in silence for a while. It was a night just like this one, the full moon and stars beaming down on us.

"Once all titans have been eliminated, what do you want to do with your life?" I remember Erwin asking, breaking the silence. The question took me by surprise, not because I didn't have an answer, but because it was Erwin asking me. Genuinely asking me. I could tell by his tone.

I think it was around this time that the warm feeling inside of me began to develop.

"You'll just laugh." I said. My dream was indeed laughable. It was shitty, compared to everyone else's aspersions I'd heard of. However, Erwin told me he wouldn't, and the trust I'd put in him stopped me from doubting that.

"I want to open a tea shop." My voice was quiet, but he heard. I remember him sighing and lying down, just as he was now, the moon and stars reflecting in his ocean eyes.

"That sounds wonderful. I hope that day will come to pass for you, Levi." Erwin smiled his soft smile. How was I supposed to hate the guy?

We spent many more nights on that roof, sometimes staying until the sun rose. We talked about our dreams, titans, our childhoods...pretty much anything out could think of. And every time we came back through the window and into his office, he'd sit at his desk and always say the same thing:

"It was nice talking to you, Levi. Get some rest."

And then came the accident that had happened a little over six months ago now. His face was always painted with a look of concern every time he saw me. The flame in his eyes had disappeared for a while when I was lying in that castle, helpless. I'd never realised that he'd been this worried for me all this time, and the things he had said during those two weeks of healing had shook me to the core.

The castle, the promise, the argument... everything was out of love. He had the same flame as I did roaring inside him, though he'd been suppressing it for much longer.

As those three words of 'I love you' were spoken and out in the open, all this came to mind. The journey is been on with him. The things I'd seen and done because he had come to the underground and chased me down until I surrendered. The choices I'd made and my decision not to regret anything came from the words he'd said to me on the day my friends had given their lives. A grudge, a hatred, and a desire to kill had been turned into something much more pure and powerful.

I turned to face him after he'd finished speaking, and he did the same. His eyes were calm as they always were, despite what a difficult thing he had just done. I had to tell him.

"I know you do."