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Tripp By My Side

Something was wrong with me. Immensely, terribly wrong. We had only been here a couple of weeks and I was already suffering from sleep deprivation.

Maybe I was homesick?

I shook my head at the thought. No, that couldn't be the case. I had no place to call home to begin with. Most of my time during high school, and even now, my time was spent with Tripp. I shrugged at that thought, my heart fluttering slightly, I could consider Tripp my 'home' for now.

My hand landed on my chest, that was another thing. Tripp. Every time I thought about my best friend, my body would react. Before, it would just be this warm feeling. The type of feeling one gets when they see someone they love, it was similar to the feeling I got when I saw my brother, but a lot more intense. Despite it being more intense, it was comfortable and I understood it. Tripp is my best friend. I opened up to him on many and all levels that I hid from everyone else. So, yeah, I was used to the warmth and the butterflies filling up my stomach every time I saw him. But the way my body was reacting in the past few months was anything but normal.

It was heat. When I first felt it, we were still in high-school. It had been when I was in the hospital, due to an accident, one that left me with a scar running down the length of my thigh. It was the right thing to do, because I hated my father, and he was making fun of my brother. There was nothing else to do, words never seemed to work with him. In the end, I was taken to the hospital. At the time, I had kept the information to myself, not wanting to worry Tripp.

He found out either way, making a surprise appearance in my hospital room. And he looked absolutely torn, the only thing I could do was tug his head onto my unharmed lap and run my fingers through his locks. When, somewhere deep inside, I just wanted to tug him forward and press my lips against his.

I didn't, but from then on, the heat escalated, and I don't know why. It seemed to have gotten worse since we moved into the dorm together. I sat up on the chair, slapping my cheeks with the palm of my hands in an attempt to clear my head. This was unlike me, I leaned back to look at the ceiling - maybe I was horny. I looked to my right, spotting girls I would usually go for sitting at another table. Maybe I could hit someone up— . I shook my head again. I promised Tripp that the first year of college would be completely focused on my studies.

I didn't want to risk my first year going to waste. I also, for some reason, just didn't want to disappoint Tripp.

But even when I didn't want to get distracted, living with Tripp was already proving to be a huge distraction. Especially if my body continued reacting like this. I cradled my head, poor assignments, I wouldn't be able to finish any of them. There was another thing that bothered me, I noticed things about Tripp. For example; How attractive he was becoming. Was he always so hot? Was everyone meant to become more attractive when they went into college? And why was I just now noticing these things? I let out a frustrated sigh, standing up and placing everything in my bag before heading out of the library. That's one thing I hated about quiet places, my thoughts would get the better of me. I huffed, guess I'll have to study in the dorm.

At least it would give me an excuse to not hang around Tripp for the majority of the evening.

I turned the page of my philosophy textbook, jamming out the song. All of the previous thoughts had been long forgotten, and entering the dorm undetected was easier than anticipated, leaving something akin to disappointment bubbling in my chest. As much as I tried denying it, I always wanted to hang out with Tripp.

Because he was my best friend, and I was his, right?

I squealed as someone's hand landed on my shoulder. Jolting, I tugged out my headphones and craned my neck back, spotting Tripp smiling down at me. Another flutter and -? Was that my breath catching in my throat? "Hey baby, dinner's ready. Take a break from all that studying."

He left with a wink, my eyes tore away from his backside and over towards the digital clock resting gleefully on my desk; 7:46 p.m. I sighed, combing my hair back. At least I finally got through the sixth chapter, the small accomplishment simmering into a small dull because it was just six chapters. I made my way to where the food was, fist pumping the air when I got there.

"Why are you so happy?" Tripp chuckled, looking at me with what could only be described as pure amusement. I didn't let it get to me though, it wasn't healthy for my heart or for the haywire of thoughts that my brain was currently infested with.

I shrugged, "Maybe I'm just happy to see you. But really, the food smells great."

I fell onto one of the chairs, groaning lowly as a relaxed sensation filled my body at the contact against the soft cushion. Wooden chairs were absolute hell, I'm convinced Satan tortures people on them. Tripp smiled at me as he slid a bowl of soup in front of me, hand reaching to pat my head.

"That's good, and studies?" There was something about the way he asked. Normally, when others asked, I would simply brush the question off, because who asks about studies? But when it came to Tripp, I knew he was being serious.

"Good! I got ahead just now for one of my classes. Thank God too, it's for philosophy and that class confuses the shit out of me." I stated with a groan, leaning down to scoop and gulp down a spoonful of soup. Tripp was a cooker, which was odd because he never cooked back in his house. That however, was most likely because he was a mommy's boy and she never let him do any work around the house. But here, he challenged himself and took up the hobby. He was surprisingly good at it but that was probably because I was terrible at cooking.

"Hmm, that's good Logan. I'm already so proud of you." And that dull ache of the accomplishment before skyrocketed, because now it was suddenly so important. And I was so happy that he acknowledged it.

We continued dinner with casual conversation. That was something I always liked about Tripp, there was no sense of trying with him, everything came naturally. "That's right," He paused. "I got invited to a party for this upcoming weekend. Wanna go?"

I tilted my head to the side as his clear blue eyes pierced mine. That was another thing; he watched me a lot more than he did before. Or was that just my imagination? It was as if he was trying to read me, to memorize me. Most of the time his eyes were always on me, and for the most part I didn't mind.

My eyes scanned his face. He had started growing a beard and it was covering his chin, traveling up his jawline and extending a bit down his neck. The tips of my fingers tingle and I found myself reaching out to press my hand against his cheek. His eyes scanned mine for a second longer before he closed them, leaning into my touch. The hairs were soft, tickling the skin of my hand and as I moved my hand against his skin, traveling down until a comforting scratch itched at my palm.

In the back of my mind I wondered how they would feel against my neck. My body heated up at the thought.

I snapped my hand back, laughing awkwardly under my breath. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he opened his eyes. My chest tightened at the glint of something akin to sadness or pain in his eyes. Why would he be in pain? If anything, he should be questioning my actions. I had never done anything like that before.

Not with Tripp, and not with anybody.

"Sorry about that, I haven't been getting much sleep." I scratched the back of my head as the lame excuse left my mouth. The truth was I didn't know what was wrong with me. But the lack of sleep could be a factor for my change in personality and attitude towards Tripp. Then again, maybe it was also because of all of the inappropriate thoughts and dreams I had of Tripp.

They all started out the same, in his room, because that's usually the place where we were most connected. But then things escalated. Sometimes we would just be cuddling and small touches increased into more heated ones. Other times, I would be drinking - because Tripp hates the taste of alcohol, and somewhere along the way I would find myself sitting on Tripp's lap-

I jolted back when I felt his hand on my neck, our eyes clashed again as I looked up. "You haven't been getting sleep?"

I nodded to his question making him frown and pull back. With child-like determination, he pushed the bowl of soup towards me as he turned back to his own bowl. "Finish eating. Tonight it is my mission to get you to sleep."

The voicing of his mission made me grin widely, my chest fluttering at the prospect of sleeping next to Tripp like old times. I nodded my head slowly, returning my attention to my bowl of soup.

I didn't know what was wrong with me. But if I had Tripp next to me, I'm sure I could get through it.