___

Apparently, It's A Phase

I groaned as I opened my eyes, letting a smile take over my features as I came face-to-face with my best friend Logan. He was laying next to me, on my bed, and alright, okay, yes, (sheesh, mom), he was naked as well.

But, that is not enough reason for anyone (or you) to think dirty of us.

We are just, two perfectly fit and healthy, adolescent men, laying next to each other, naked. Okay, fine, so maybe your mind could wander to the over-erotic section of BL anime, porn, love, books and manga. That was perfectly reasonable too. My mind had wandered to that area the first time me and Logan had watched porn together.

Only the two of us, in my room, getting hard watching heterosexual intercourse on a 15 inch screen. Actually, no, call me a liar. I wanted to puke my intestines out. As someone who had always known that my interest in girls was in the negative range, watching women getting absolutely railed was not the prettiest picture. The men doing the railing now? Decent at best.

Anyways, the only reason why I was getting hard (in any way, shape or form), was because I got the perfect view of Logan getting aroused. It was the hottest and cutest thing I have ever seen. There was just something about him. The way his hips would raise automatically into his hand or a fleshlight, mouth opening in ragged pants as his tongue-

I am aware that I am a full-blown pervert.

Moving on. During our remainder four years in high school I had excelled at academics and had slowly lost interest in football. Most of my teammates started thinking that me quitting the team was just a 'phase', a rebellious phase to be exact because I hadn't only drifted from my team but also from my peers, choosing instead to get closer to Logan and actually becoming his best friend.

Maybe at first it was a phase. I simply wanted to be with Logan and because we didn't attend the same schools, the only time I could spend with him was after school, therefore quitting most of my in-school activities seemed like the way to go. The only activity that I refrained from quitting was dating. During high school, I dated four girls. In all honesty, it wasn't exactly dating. When a girl happened to ask me out, I accepted, letting them know that I had no (and probably would never have) feelings for them. They acknowledged that and everything that happened between those dates was purely consensual.

I make that sound like I was torturing them. I wasn't.

I'm not a monster.

But letting them know that being with me was useless was important. Anyhow, Logan dated twice as many girls. Although none of them stayed around longer than a few weeks, not that Logan would notice, but they usually got jealous because Logan would always make the (best) decision to hang out with me rather than them. In the end, they gave up, learning that they couldn't compete with me. Which made sense since I am fabulous.

Despite getting closer to Logan I still hadn't (like a coward) told him about my sexuality. That also didn't diminish the attraction I felt towards my best friend. For the past four years the urges have gotten stronger. The urge to caress, kiss, grope, bite, pound, smack, and make mine had grown. Grown so much that sometimes I had to make excuses to not hang out with him. Because sometimes it was painful, too painful, to see him flirt, make-out and be with girls that could never be me.

Logan sniffed next to me, I quickly closed my eyes, pretending to be asleep. A hum left him as he shifted against me, my throat constricted, holding back the urge to gasp when his hand ran over my chest — leaving goosebumps in their wake. I shuddered but willed myself to keep my eyes closed as he turned back over to face me, throwing his hand on my neck.

"Babe," He whined, and dammit if that didn't make me smile so big.

"Morning baby," I whispered, opening my eyes to look into his beautiful green ones. It was something he had randomly said once during a party, blurting it out after one-too-many drinks. It caught both of us off-guard, but after a few awkward seconds, we had burst out laughing, then in our drunken haze we continued to tell each other 'I love you'. And since then the overused nicknames stuck. Luckily nobody really thought much of said nicknames. We were best friends, we deserved nicknames, and not ones that included a Care Bears context to it. Though, that was one of the reasons his many girlfriends got jealous, seeing as he would only call them by their names.

He groaned, "Hngh, I'm tired."

"But," he started, looking over at me again with a tired grin. A sight I would never get tired of. "—I still have to finish packing for our private dorm!"

He squealed, jumping out of my bed and rushing into the bathroom, giving me a quick glance at his perfect ass. An exasperated sigh, God wanted me to die of blue balls by dangling temptation in front of me at every given chance. I rolled onto my side. Technically it wasn't a private dorm. It was a house that my parents (my dad, specifically) constructed next to the university when they were attending it. I wasn't going to let Logan have someone else as a roommate, he was going to be mine by the end of the year. By force or not—

— I sound like a mad-man.

Logan walked back out and I took the time to rub my eyes all over his bare chest as he put on some boxers. My thighs tingled and I shifted as I felt myself grow hard, fuck, I'm only staring and this is what happens. "Uh, yeah I won't be able to hang out or help you finish packing today, I have some things to do," I murmured as I sat up. Logan let out a sound between a scoff and a tsk as he tugged on his shirt.

He glared at me, "Thanks, Tripp. Have fun alone." He hissed slamming the door of my room as he left.

I ran my hands through my hair, I understood his change in attitude. Despite neither of us wanting to admit it, no one wanted to go back to the place Logan called home. Not after everything that happened there. But even when I wanted to be with him I couldn't risk revealing my feelings to him.

I looked down at the tent my sheets formed around my lower abdomen, especially not when he brought out these types of feelings.

꒰꒱꒰

"Where is he?" My mum asked as she walked into the living room, I hummed looking back at her and fixing my gaze off of the TV. Four hours had passed and I had spent the last three watching Ghost Adventures. Logan hadn't contacted me which meant that he was either hooking up with someone or he was actually packing up for us to go to the university. I hoped (to God) he was doing the latter since the former always brought forth emotions of pain.

My eyebrows knitted in confusion at the question, "Where's who?"

"My son."

More confusion, "Uh, right here?"

"Not you." She scoffed. "The better-looking one."

I agree but, "Gee, thanks for caring about my feelings? That didn't hurt, like at all." It totally did.

She sent me a soft smile, placing a bag of food next to me. "I love you. But, are you guys fighting again? And I bought you two breakfast, lunch, and dinner. If you're still hungry, just ask Celeste to make something for you." She finished, grabbing her phone when it made an annoying duck noise.

"We aren't fighting mom, and thank you."

"If you guys hadn't clarified that you were only friends I would've found many ways to instigate him on his feelings for you." As always, my mom was on my side when it came to my attraction towards my best friend. But because she was so supportive she always seemed to have a plan when it came to forcing me and Logan together, thankfully me and my dad were always able to convince her not to follow through with her plans.

"No mum, but thank you. I will make him mine, soon." Or confess my undying love for him and suffer in a pit called rejection. Her lips met the top of my head.

"Better be soon," she mumbled, placing another kiss on my head before turning around and heading towards her room. "I want him over tonight!" Which roughly translated to make up with him.

I waited until I could no longer hear her high-heel taps on the floor before turning off the TV and heading to Logan's house. A sigh of relief left me involuntarily as I found myself in Logan's drive through, his fathers truck out of sight. His father wasn't the best person, he was a complete ass and sometimes I just wanted to smash his face against a brick surface repeatedly. I refrained, however, knowing that I would indirectly be harming Logan in doing so.

What made me hate the man even more was the scar he had given Logan, the one that ran down the length of his thigh. All I wanted to do when I visited him in the hospital was kiss the pain away but I couldn't - I had to hold back. Fortunately Logan had sensed my distress and had managed to calm me down by running his hands through my hair whenever I went over to see him. I invited myself into the home and opened Logan's bedroom door, leaning against the frame and watching as he ran around his room, gathering his clothes and folding them into cardboard boxes.

"What is it?" He asked, a small sniffle at the end of his question, which explained why he didn't spare a glance my way. My lips twitched slightly at his tough act.

"What did I do?" Finally, Logan's beautiful eyes met mine as I asked the question. He huffed, sucking in his cheeks and making his way over to me, resting his head on my shoulder. My lips met the side of his head before I took the opportunity to rest my head against Logan's seeing as he was, and always will be, shorter than me (I take pride in it, sue me).

"It's just," He let out a sound of distress against my chest, "I feel like you've been ignoring me-" He wasn't that far from the truth. "And you're my best friend so I just got upset that you didn't want to hang out with me." There was another sniffle against my chest. I sighed, wrapping my arms around him.

"Logan, I always want to hang out, I just get busy sometimes but you're always on my mind, you're also my best friend," I whispered against his head. You're also the person that I've fallen in love with, the one I want to make mine. But dammit, you're straight.

I continued before Logan could say anything, "I wasn't exactly busy today, I just didn't know if you wanted to be alone here or not." I pulled away, grasping his neck and tilting his head so our eyes met, "Forgive me? Only the remainder of today and tomorrow and you get me whenever you want. Look, tomorrow you can stay over like always, get drunk and then we can do whatever you want." I whispered continuing to hold him tightly against my chest, he nodded weakly.

"Can we change that to today, why not head to the dorm early, it's a day's drive so instead of the plane let's have a road trip?" Spontaneous, as always (cue: heart eyes). I nodded my head, not finding it in me to say no to his suggestion.

"Okay then, come with me for the breakfast, lunch and dinner my mom bought us. Or are you not hungry?" I asked sarcastically, he scoffed as he smacked my arm.

"There's always room and time for food," He said. We hurriedly finished packing the remainder of his clothes into the cardboard boxes before then stuffing said boxes into my car and heading back to my house.

꒰꒱꒰

"Oh good, you brought him." My mom said as we entered the living room. I rolled my eyes at her statement.

"Yes, mum. I told you we weren't fighting." To help convince her, Logan gave a firm nod in agreement. My mom harrumphed under her breath as she walked into her conference room (a.k.a. work room). I made my way over to the entertainment room where I happily sat down next to Logan.

"Dude-" He started making me hum as I looked over at him, I handed him his hamburger and soda and started unwrapping mine. "Can you imagine? You and me, in a dorm house, by ourselves —"

Fucking? Yes, I could imagine us doing that. Your skin against mine, my lips against yours, our hands tangled together, our tongues battling for dominance, our hips moving against each other to make the most pleasurable friction. Yeah, just thinking about it got me all excited.

"—and all the chick's we would have to ourselves." I rolled my eyes at his statement. Logan, I love you but sometimes you just need to keep your mouth shut. I looked over at him, narrowing my eyes as I took a large bite out of my hamburger.

"Logan." My tone couldn't come as anything but accusing, Logan mocked my tone before bumping his shoulder against mine.

"Relax, I was joking! I solemnly swear that our first year at the university will be focused on studying and grades." That's right, you, me, grades, classes, studying - anatomy - and no one else, for an entire year. No clingy girls, no drunk girls, no dramatic girls, no thirsty girls, no girls - final. I smiled, throwing Logan the remote control so that he could change the channel from haunted locations. As we sat next to each other, my mind went blank for a second as I thought about what we would do tomorrow. Logan would get drunk, and I already knew what he was going to say, I already knew what he was going to choose. And I—

I would take my chances to make him want me, to make him desire me.

As much as I desired him.