🙃

🌀🌀

"Judging by your looks, I don't think you slept at night." Carter pointed out as we walked inside the class after a huge session of him consoling me and calming me down so that my eyes stop leaking tears.

"Yeah. I couldn't sleep last night. Just as you dropped me back-" I stopped, the same hurtful feeling stinging my heart. "I saw my parents on the door with Josh in their arms. I-I tried to stop them but they didn't listen to me."

Carter just gave a single nod and remained silent. I placed myself on the seat and Carter sat on the one next to mine.

"Sparkle," he said, breaking the silence as he elbowed me. I looked up to listen to him. "Do you know what? We have a basketball match coming ahead. It's about a week from today and I want you to be there." Carter's grin was contagious enough to make me smile too. I knew very well he was attempting to change the topic and was trying to involve me in other talks so that I forget about Josh.

"Really?" I questioned, earning a nod in return. "I promise, I'll be there."

"It's quite unusual for Ms Taylor to arrive late." Carter spoke. A girl who sat on the seat ahead, turned her head in our direction. "Don't you know Carter? Ms Taylor is on an emergency leave. And the substitute teacher, probably is busy chitchatting so we get two units free." She beamed at Carter but not before shooting daggers at me with her looks.

"Yay!" Carter whispered from beside me completely ignoring the girl ahead as he gave me a refreshing smile. "I was thinking to complete my worksheet from the last class." I trailed, searching for a pencil inside my bag.

"Na-ah!" Before I could stop him he snatched the worksheet from my hands. "We are going to talk." He stated.

"Talk about what, Carter?"

"Talk about stuff." Carter said, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. This sudden action of his startled me and I looked above just to find him staring at the front row with his jaw clenched. My eyes traveled to where his were and all I saw was a Cold War going on between Isaac and him. It wouldn't take a genius's mind to know that the both hate each other with everything in them.

And to think Isaac kissed me the same morning. I didn't have it in me to narrate the whole story to Carter right then, so I decided on telling him later in the lunch. Plus, I didn't want anymore drama when the students were around.

"Hey Carter!" A high pitched voice that belonged to non other than Maddy echoed followed by a sickening sweet scent of slutty perfume. Maddy was there and that meant nothing but a warning of a major problem.

"I'm busy Maddie. We'll talk later, maybe?" I won't say Carter wasn't rude, because he was.

"You don't know Carter-" she started to say but Carter stopped her. "I don't even wanna know." He said, too harshly and all I could see was red on Maddy's caked face. She started mumbling under her breath as she sprinted away.

"You were rude." I told him resting my head on his arm. "And she was annoying!"

"And I'm sure as hell if there weren't any books on my table she'd been sitting here, infecting my nostrils with that cheap perfume she uses." Hearing this from him made me giggle but I couldn't believe it was the Carter Reece saying this. The one who used to make out with Maddy in between the classes–or it were just rumours.

"Just because you became the captain doesn't mean you don't need anymore tutoring. Mr. Killer will kill me if you get a bad result this time." I reasoned.

"So you miss the tutoring session?" He wiggled his eyebrows at me.

"Not really but if that's what will make you start studying again then do believe it."

"I really got used to you Sophie in the past days and I can't let this lovely teacher go." He said, his hands massaging my head. A yawn escaped my mouth and I tried hard not to close my heavy eyelids. His hands kept moving on my head and all I wanted was to sleep. As much as I was loving it, I didn't want to sleep in the class.

"Carter, stop. Stop playing with my hair." Carter's hand froze in my hair as soon as these words were out of my mouth. "Why?" He questioned. "Because it's making me sleepy." I groaned.

"It amazes me how you are able to sleep when there's so much noise around you. But look, what's wrong in taking a nap? You have almost an hour. You need sleep. And I'll be your pillow. What else do you need?"

I lifted my hand to look at my wrist watch. There was a lot of time and I was considering taking a small nap as Carter said. And before I even knew it I was dozing off into my own dreamland, away from the world in the protection of Carter's arms and their warmth. A last thought crossed my mind: I'm falling in love with the BadBoy. Cliche, but he's a loving material.

******

Giggles... giggles.... laughters... giggles... murmurs.... wild laughters....

Sensing the presence of people gathered around me I opened my eyes just to be hit my the bright light of our class. I shielded my eyes with my arms and opened them again when they adjusted to the light.

I was shocked to find almost half of the school towering upon me. Most of them held cameras in their hands, others were using their mobiles to snap pictures of me. I looked at my right side and finding the seat empty made my insides weak.

Where is Carter!?

"How does it feel Sophie the slut?! I hope you're enjoying?" Relief flooded throughout my body, hearing Lia's voice but it wasn't long before I understood the meaning of her sentence. I stood up from my chair and looked around, locating Lia standing near the door with her hands on her hips. "W-what's happening Lia?" I questioned, still trying to understand the situation I was in.

"I hope I'd have listened to Maddy at first! I never thought you'd turn out to be such a betrayer. They're right when they bully you! You deserve it!" Lia spat at me before she ran away.

What the hell is going on?!

I ran outside and towards the restroom, my body shaking with embarrassment. Anywhere I went people stared at me like I was a diamond on display. A scream left my mouth when my eyes met my own reflection in the mirror.

Tears pooled inside my eyes and not after a second my face was a stream of river.

Slut!

Bitch!

Whore!

Betrayer!

Those words were written all over my face. Immediately, I opened the tap to wash my face. I rubbed my cheeks with all the force I could muster but the marks didn't go. They didn't even go light. No one, absolutely no one was standing beside me, to support me. And it was all like before. It felt as if I have returned to the past but the only thing different was, I had expectations this time.

All of which were crushed when Lia stood opposing me. Unable to free my face from those remarks I slid down the floor. I couldn't understand when did all of this happen and that where was Carter at that time.

Whatever marker they used, had extremely waterproof ink that wasn't even fading a slightest. Tired, I stood up and found a tissue to cover my face. It was clear to me that a whole lot of drama was waiting outside to welcome me but staying in there wasn't a solution. Besides that, I had to find Carter and tell him about these events.

I opened the door and there stood everyone. They all erupted into laughter and the room echoed with it as soon as they saw me. Some who hadn't had the chance to snap my pictures earlier started to click pictures of me. But that didn't bother me. I knew this was going to be a big deal the moment I woke up in the class. My eyes caught the sight of a smirking Jack. "Serves you right, you whore! That's what you get for trying to play tricks on my best friend." He said, pointing his finger at me.

I blinked, unable to believe it was all an act played by Jack in the earlier days. Him, being sweet, going from calling me nerdy to cutie, respecting me, making up with Carter and everything else was just an act. He was just pretending to be nice temporarily. And that hurt really bad.

It was all like before. Like the times I was bullied before I let people in. It hurt because I really wanted Lia to be my friend. Because I really wanted to hang out with Jack. It hurt because I needed them. It hurt because I was so desperate for love, I didn't even see if theirs was sincerely true or not. I was so desperate, I believed whatever lies my fake friends told me.

As I looked around, I found Lia sitting on the corner chair with many girls gathered around her. She had her head down and looked like she was crying. I wanted to go and console her, to ask what was wrong with her, to support her like she always did but I know when I'm not needed. And there, at that moment, I was definitely not needed. My heart that just got stabbed was being poked as I stared at the scene in front of me.

Not being able to look at it I diverted my gaze to the ground only to be greeted by the heals of Maddy. It was clear she had someone standing with her because there were another pair of shoes beside her. It was clear to me. It was like I knew who that was going to be but I still needed a proof. I needed my eyes to witness it themselves because even though I knew but my heart wasn't accepting what my mind was telling me.

To tell you honestly, looking up was a huge mistake. All it did was spread salt on my already wounded heart. Because he was none other than Carter. Still I was expecting him to ask about me, to hug me. But no, all he did was stare at me. His void expressions weren't helping either. "Carter," I whispered, calling out for him. He just twisted his head and looked away. "Just go away Sophia."

He didn't call me Sparkle.

I didn't know what hurt the most? His change of behaviour or the fact that this all was an act he played. If it was any other day, it wouldn't have mattered. I couldn't help myself from falling in love with him and then when I reached the ground, he wasn't there to catch me. I crashed onto the ground, hurting myself, breaking myself. It was unbearable. The pain was unbearable.

What the hell have I done for him to act this way? Why is Lia so distant, so rude? What the hell is happening?!

"Just, what have I done?" I asked facing everyone in the corridor. My voice sounded like I was crying. I was crying inside. I was breaking inside. I was tearing apart inside. I didn't want to show it to them. Even if I tried, I couldn't stop the voice from shaking.

Instead of answering, they all started to murmur among themselves. "They know a whore when they see one." Lia's voice rang into my ears.

If I'd have stayed there a minute more, I'd been a crying mess that I didn't want to be so I started to leave. "And, now I suggest you to wake up from your sweet little dream and face the reality you bitch! No one needs you! We wish we'd never met you!"

I stopped in my tracks and turned around to face them, "don't worry. You won't be seeing me again." I gave one tight smile to them, catching the movement of Carter's head in my direction. "You won't have to see this whore anymore, that's my promise to you!"

And then I left for home. I reached there after an hour of walking and trying to hide what was written on my face. I couldn't find Rebecca anywhere and that was just what I wanted. Running up to my room I locked myself inside, letting out all my tears, sadness, hurt and anger.

I started to pull my hair and bang my head on the wall.

Why me?

Why always me?!

Not knowing what came over me, I threw everything from my dresser. I pulled of my bed sheets and threw my pillows on the table, resulting in the breaking of a vas that was placed there.

"Why is it-" I sobbed, "-me?"

"Why me?-why me?-why me?"

"Why the- the -fu-fuck is it always me??"

I slipped down, my head resting on my bed as I kept squeezing the carpet with anger. "What do you want God? What the hell was your point in sending me here!?" I yelled letting out more tears.

-No one needs you!

-slut!

-we wish, we'd have never met you!

-they know a whore when they see one!

-serves you right!

-Betrayer!

-whore!

-you deserve it!

-Slut!

-bitch!

-just go away Sophia. Just go away Sophia. Just go away Sophia! Just go away Sophia! Just go away Sophia! Just go away Sophia!

Just go away Sophia!

Just go away Sophia!

Go away Sophia!

Go!

Away!

Sophia!

Just!

Go!

Away!

The voices in my didn't leave me. They didn't plan to. I tried to think about anything else but those voices kept ringing. Those voice kept reminding me I have to go. I knew they won't go away. I had figured out how I would make them leave me.

I knew what I had to do to make them leave me. I stood up and went inside my washroom. Opening my cupboard, I took out the yellow bottle that I had bought some years back. Using a knife had always failed in my case and I was sure rat poison will definitely be the thing to help me end my life.

I knew I had promised Rebecca and Josh. But I also knew they don't need me. Josh is gone. Rebecca, obviously was staying because she pitied me. I knew I had promised Carter. But he wouldn't care anymore. Even thinking about all those times that I believed him like the naive girl I am, broke my heart. It made me want to end my life faster. It made me want to end myself painfully.

I knew it was wrong of me but this earth hated me. I deserved this kind of an ending. I didn't even know if I'd be happy in grave or not but one thing was known to me: it was going to be better than how I live now.

I opened the bottle with shaky hands and swallowed all of the contents of it. It tasted bad and I felt nothing. I just wish it goes the way I've planned. Sighing, I closed my eyes shut and started to pray for myself.

🤧

❤❤