《The List》(15)
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"No way. Nuh-uh," I said as Alani and Nadia got in my car.
"What? I figured you'd be fine with Nadia coming?" Alani said.
"No, not that. Nadia can come. I'm talking about your outfit."
"What's wrong with it?"
"Your ass is hanging out of those shorts, and your breasts are coming out of your top."
"Isn't that what people wear to parties?"
"Yeah, I guess. But not you. Go change."
"No. You don't control what I wear," She said, which was true.
"Alani."
"River."
"At least put on my sweatshirt. It's in the trunk."
"Fine. I don't feel like arguing," She said, fishing it out of my endless piles of junk.
When she got back in the car, she was drowning in my sweatshirt. She looked adorable, and I couldn't stay upset with her.
After we parked the car at the off-campus house that the party was being thrown at, the three of us walked toward the entrance. Outside, people were throwing up, making out, being stupid, and drinking alcohol.
"Welcome to a college party," I said.
"Fun stuff," Alani said, making a face of disgust.
We walked inside, and the music blared in our ears. I had been to hundreds of parties but still hadn't gotten used to the noise.
"Are you drinking tonight?" Nadia asked Alani over the music.
"Yeah, that's one of the things on my list."
"I'll get you a drink," I said before grabbing her alcohol.
"Here," I said once I got back, handing it to her.
"Okay, are you ready?" Nadia asked as Alani eyed her drink.
"Let's do it," She said before taking a sip of the drink. She immediately made a sour face and coughed.
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"How was it?" I asked.
"Terrible, but getting drunk is on the list," She said, taking a bigger sip and making another face.
"Are you drinking tonight?" Nadia asked me.
"No, somebody's got to drive you two home," I said. Usually, I did drink at Parties and took a cab or something home, but I was willing to give up drinking tonight.
"I'm not drinking either. I don't handle alcohol well, so you can drink if you want," Nadia said.
"It's fine. We'll have two people to watch out for her."
"River!" I heard a high-pitched voice screech. I turned around and found Harper, who I had ignored messages from and avoided for the past week.
"Hi, Harper," I said, hugging her.
"Who is this?" She asked, eyeing Nadia and Alani.
"These are some of my friends, Alani and Nadia. Guys, this is Harper, my, um, my friend," I said. There was no way I was calling Harper a girlfriend, and saying she was a hook-up also felt wrong. Friends with benefits didn't describe our situation either since she and I weren't even friends.
"What kind of friend?" Alani asked.
"The kind that hooks up," Harper said without a second thought, placing her hand on my chest.
Alani looked surprised at Harper's revelation but smiled anyway.
Harper pulled me away from the two of them and whispered in my ear, "Do you want to go upstairs?"
"Not now, Harper," I said.
"Later then. For now, we can dance."
"Okay," I agreed. Harper wouldn't stop until I did something with her, and I didn't want to sleep with her, so this was the only option. Plus, Alani had Nadia to watch over her, so they would be safe. Harper led me out to the dance floor, and we danced with sweaty bodies bumping into us from all angles. I rarely enjoyed dancing, and tonight was not an exception.
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I glanced at Alani. She was talking to Daniel and laughing at something he said. I gripped Harper's hips tighter.
Alani could talk to whoever she wanted. It wasn't like we were dating. I would be fine if she and Daniel wanted to be together.
When they came over to the house and were in Daniel's room for so long the other day, I was worried but realized that I had no right to be concerned and ultimately put it out of my mind. Now the worry was back, and I was shoving it to the back of my mind again.
Harper and I continued to dance for the next half hour. Once we got tired, Harper decided she wanted another drink.
"Here," She said, handing me a plastic cup.
"Oh, I'm not drinking tonight."
"Why not? You always drink?" She asked.
"Designated driver. I have to take Alani home."
"Oh. What's up with you and her anyway? Do you like her?"
"Of course, I like her."
"I mean do you have a crush on her?"
"No!" I said way too quickly. It didn't even matter if I liked her - which I didn't - but even if I did, Alani deserved someone better than me. She deserved someone who would stick with her and not leave when things got "boring" like I would.
"Okay, good," Harper said.
"Why is that good?"
"Because you're with me."
"Harper. I've told you this many times. We are not together."
"Why have you been ignoring my calls?" She said, changing the subject.
"I've been busy."
"With Alani?" She asked.
"Yeah," I said. I had been spending most of my free time with Alani, and there was no reason to hide that.
"You should spend less time with her."
"No. Harper, I like spending time with her."
"Why don't you spend time with me besides when we are hooking up?"
"Because," I said.
"Because, why?" She asked. The truth was that I didn't enjoy my time with Harper as much as I did Alani. Harper was clingy and obsessive, and I didn't find that fun to be around. I'm sure she was a good person underneath all her layers, but she and I together didn't work together, and I needed to break it off.
"Harper, I don't think this is going to work out."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, I think we should stop hooking up."
"What? Why?" She exclaimed loud enough for the people next to us to hear. I moved her to the side, where fewer people were, and kept talking.
"Because it's not working out."
"River, please," She said.
"No. This is over. It's not fair to you for us to stay together. I promise it's for the best."
She turned around and marched out when she realized I had made up my mind. I let out a long breath, glad that was over. I glanced around the room until I spotted Alani. She and Nadia were still with Daniel, but this time, they were all dancing. Alani was rubbing herself all over my roommate as they danced.
Weird feelings surged inside of me as I watched them together. Feelings that I didn't have the right to have. Feelings that shouldn't be there at all.
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