"You look well... how have you been?" Sebastian's familiar deep voice asked as I settled into the wooden seat across from him with our warm beverages on the table between us.

I rest my hands around the warm disposable cup holding my hot chocolate, "Good, what about you?"

Sebastian nods sending me the warm smile I was so used to, "Good—look I'm sorry that I accidentally informed your parents. I was talking to my parents when I saw Jaci's story and I freaked out a little bit, I guess my parents ended up telling yours that it was officially done,"

I nod hesitantly, "It's fine, you clearly didn't mean to,"

"So it is officially done?"

I blink a few times at his direct question, "Yes," I answered as I stared into his familiar green eyes. Right now all that I can think about is Cayden, which was mostly due to me sitting here in front of her longest friend whom we just had an argument about before deciding to call it quits—if you were to even consider there was a start since we never got far enough to define anything, or even go past flirty comments unless you count the masturbation we performed in front of one another.

Sebastian furrows his brows, "So that's it Vina? We spent what? One year fooling around and two years dating for what? I mean that's three years of our lives—I'm sorry okay? I lost my temper, and I—"

"Sebastian," I cut him off unconsciously causing my lips to purse together. I don't exactly know what to say at this point. His temper is, of course, an issue since one time with that kind of thing is one too many. Anger issues easily spiral into abuse and even if I was straight I probably wouldn't have risked the outcome, but I'm not, which is the main cause of all of this. Now I need some reason to justify all of this and possibly give him the closure he needs, which I don't blame him for needing. I mean my behavior was already distant at the beginning, but it managed to grow worse, then for me to end it all after he made one mistake and not talk to him for an entire week about the breakup... It's definitely confusing for him.

"Vina... Please don't do this," Sebastian's voice grows quiet as his green eyes soften.

I sigh as I grip the white paper cup, "Maybe it all could've been different if I didn't have time after the mistake you made, to get to know myself," I lie knowing I had been wanting out of this relationship since it started, "But I did and I like the freedom Sebastian, I mean I'm only twenty-one and I have so many years ahead of me—so many more things to discover about myself and the world. I don't want to get back into a relationship, and when I do..." I trail off knowing this last part will probably crush him, but the last thing I want to do is give him hope.

"When I do want one, it won't be with you,"

Sebastian clenches his jaw as he pulls his green eyes off of me, "So what about that one guy you were with on Jaci's story?" he asks as his green eyes land on me.

"Just a rebound," I concluded, "Look, I'm sorry—"

"Sorry? Vina, we were together for three fucking years,"

"I know—"

"You don't know though," his harsh tone cuts me off, "Have all the rebounds you want, but I'll wait Vina—seriously I'll wait even if you end up rejecting me again,"

I will because I'm gay—I like fucking women.

"Seriously don't wait Sebastian," I urged him, "We had a... good three years together, but we need to let that go, we're clearly going in different directions,"

"No, you're going in a different direction—not me," he concluded before rising from his chair with his cup of coffee, "Seriously, fuck you Vina—fuck you for throwing this all away,"

Sebastian doesn't give me a chance to say anything else before he exits the quaint café, leaving me slightly shocked at how the calm conversation escalated to such lengths. I mean he'd always gotten verbally mean with me, his tone growing irritated when I act a certain way around his friends or on a date, yelling at me after he had a few too many to drink and I had declared I'd be leaving early from the party. Most of the time it was about his pretty image being messed with that triggered this, since he was a part of a frat.

I never understood why he cared so much, I mean he doesn't even live there since he refuses to share a house with people and the messy state the house is kept in due to all the boys occupying it. I feel like even if Sebastian wanted to live there, his parents probably wouldn't have let him anyways. Either way, he's still a part of the frat and he takes his reputation very seriously, which is probably why he's acting so upset over this breakup. I mean for all I know he could be just putting on a show just to get me back on his arm as his perfect conforming girlfriend. I'm almost ninety-nine percent sure he's cheated, even though I never found proof—I mean he's in a frat, he never suggested I leave my stuff at his place, and we never had sex after a year into being together—but there was never any proof.

I still can't believe he just behaved that way... I mean the conversation seriously didn't have to escalate to that level, then again, with Sebastian, I don't know what way I saw it really going. Still, him making me feel bad for not getting back with him and proceeding to cuss at me—dick move. But there was no way we could be friends, much less be cordial, which sucks because the friend side of him was the best. That's the first version of him that I met, which is why we fooled around for so long. I took him home that first year for holidays only, but when we got back to New York, it was always a friendship dynamic. I honestly didn't want to change our dynamic to boyfriend and girlfriend, but he already came home with me, my parents had met him and would start asking about him, and Sebastian would always want to know what we were since our relationship would fluctuate depending on where we were.

After finishing my hot chocolate I left the comforting café and headed back home. Upon arriving back at the familiar brownstone, Jaci was basically finished with making the french toast, eggs, and bacon. Jade had concocted mimosas while also having Frosty the Snowman pulled up on the flatscreen for us. Of course, they asked me for details on how it went with Sebastian, and I didn't hesitate to tell them everything. They agreed that he was a dick for the way he acted and that I shouldn't feel bad for not wanting to be with him, and even after being comforted by Jade and Jaci, eating the delicious warm food that Jaci prepared, watching Frosty the Snowman, and drinking a few mimosas... I still felt empty.

I realized how much I had really been missing Cayden, being distracted by the Sebastian situation—and Jade and Jaci worked, but only for so long. It was like all the feelings from this morning resurfaced, leaving me feeling emptier than before. It's like I went a week without seeing her, and suddenly she shows up—only for her to disappear again. It makes me want to regret going home with her after the club, but I somehow don't. And I probably would've done it again even if I knew how terrible the outcome would've been.