"You know, I'd really like to use Durim the Demolitionist as a range target sometime," the Arms Dealer groaned.

"Well, I wanna strap you, Tony, to a rocket and watch what happens!" Durim retorted.

Sid's eyes flew between them, an amused smile growing on his face. He knew William was currently at the Desert with Akbar the Dye Trader and Luigi the Painter, building the new Desert village, and that when he returned, Tony and Emily would all head over there, and the Desert village would become officially established.

Durim was tossing a stick of dynamite between his hands. "I wonder what happens when I –" BOOM! "Oh, sorry, Sid, did you need that leg?"

When the smoke cleared from Sid's vision, he took stock of his life – 23 out of 260. He also noticed the entire room around them had literally been blown to pieces. Thanks to there being no gravity for most blocks in this world, the walls and ceiling of the room above them remained standing, but basically everything else near him was toast. Tony and Durim were still alive, both on around 40 or 50 life.

"Well," the Arms Dealer said. "Just as well I'm the one who's moving!"

"What the cactus?" Sid moaned. "Durim, did you seriously just detonate some dynamite in the house?"

"That I did," he said.

Sid couldn't help himself. He started giggling.

"There, see, he thinks it's funny!" Durim exclaimed, a wide smile forming across his beard. "It's living proof that explosives are da bomb around here!"

Tony groaned.

"Eww, what happened to your face?" Emily the Nurse asked as she stepped into what was left of the room.

"Durim tried to blow me to pieces!" Tony shouted, pointing at him.

Emily sighed. "Whatever. All I see are a stitch-load of people who need healing, so here we go again." She started throwing syringes at the Arms Dealer, who smiled as his life was restored to full, then frowned as she restored Durim's life to full.

"Hey, come on, he was the one who blew up the whole room! He doesn't deserve your healing!"

"Maybe not," Emily said. "I'm getting tired of having to sew his limbs back on every day. Wish he'd be more careful."

"Whether or not you heal me, I've got dynamite! My own special cure-all for what ails ya!" Durim held up two sticks of dynamite in his clenched fists so they looked like dual thumbs-ups.

Emily sighed and turned to Sid.

"You left your arm over there. Let me get that for you."

Sid chuckled and raised his arm at the Nurse (both of which were still attached to his body despite the citizens' banter around losing limbs). Seconds later he was fully healed, and got to his feet.

He turned to the Forest Pylon, which stood outside, thankfully having not been obliterated by the explosion, just as it whirred electronically and Luigi the Painter appeared in front of it in a spray of particles. Seconds later William appeared, followed by Nissa the Dryad.

"What the brick happened here?" William shouted once he'd taken in the scene.

Tony pointed his finger at Durim like a seven-year-old. Sid's eyes shifted to William, just waiting for him to freak out.

"Eh, I was planning on blowing the whole thing up anyway," William said. "Rebuilding it to look nicer than an ugly wooden block."

Tony's face fell. "Well, that's a load of musket balls."

"In other news, we've got the Desert village set up," William said. "Four rooms. As Tony and Emily requested, two are connected. Luigi did a great job on painting, and Akbar and Nissa did a great job on decorating it with colourful flowers."

Nissa smiled and gave a slight bow.

"Finally!" Tony exclaimed. "I never have to see your dirty face again, Durim!"

"And I never have to see your womanising looks!" Durim shouted. Sid noticed the Nurse raising an eyebrow.

"Aaanyway," William said, "Just step over to the Pylon and use it. Let's get this over with."

Tony, Emily and Luigi stepped up to the Pylon.

"Um... William?" Luigi asked, turning to him. "It's not working."

"What?" He stepped forward. "What's wrong?"

"It says 'Defeat the current threat before using the Pylon network!'"

"Current threat?" Emily exclaimed. "What current threat?"

That was when a short, pale-green-skinned creature draped in lavender robes appeared out of thin air in front of her.

Sid had a split-second to take in its label – 'Goblin Sorcerer: 80/80' – when a grenade from the Demolitionist and a gunshot from the Arms Dealer both simultaneously hit it, causing it to instantly die.

"That was my kill!" Tony groaned.

"Nope, I dealt more damage, so it was my kill!" Durim retorted.

"Goblins!" Gilbert the Merchant, who was standing on top of the wall, yelled out.

Sid, William, and the citizens all climbed up the inside of the wall to stand on top.

Sure enough, there was an invasion force of goblins coming straight towards them. Some were large and covered with metal armour. Others were slim, wearing masks, and dashing quickly forward with their knives out. A few more Goblin Sorcerers like the one that had just been blown up/shot were visible, and they each launched glowing purple balls of energy towards them.

"Come on!" Sid cried out, and he cast his Flinxes forward, into battle.

William jumped off the wall, and ran forward with his Flaming Mace swinging around him. He swung it forward, the mace slamming straight through a column of Goblin Warriors and setting them ablaze.

The rest of the citizens got in on the action. Sid noticed the Demolitionist throwing grenades at the army while the Arms Dealer took potshots at them with his flintlock.

"Five!" Tony shouted. "Six!"

"Seven!" Durim cried out boastfully as one of his grenades obliterated a brown-suited Goblin Peon.

The Dryad raised her arms as green light began emanating from her feet. Leaves began swirling through the air in a spherical aura that quickly expanded. When the aura crossed over Sid he felt like his body was being coated with a thin film of energy. The Dryad was helping to protect them.

A line of goblins wearing green hats raised their bows into the air, and fired a volley up at the wall.

"Take cover!" Sid cried, ducking the wave of arrows. He saw Gilbert get struck in the chest and fall backwards off the wall, though he only took 32 damage out of his 250 life. The rest of the arrows somehow missed him, Durim and Tony. One hit Nissa, but she barely got knocked back at all nor took any damage. Sid began erecting some battlement-like walls out of wood for them to hide behind.

"William, take out their archers!" he shouted.

"On it! Have you seen Robyn?" William yelled back.

Sid shook his head. "No!"

He knew she was probably off fishing somewhere. That meant unless she got jumped by goblins too, she was unlikely to be coming back. They'd have to deal with the goblins on their own.

William drove his Storm Spear through the line of archers, strafing from left to right with multiple swipes in order to knock as many of them off-balance as possible. However, the Goblin Warriors began moving forward to block him, and he could tell that with 220 life, they'd each take awhile to take down.

Sid spotted Harry the Golfer sidle up beside him, armed with his golf club. He struck a ball into the oncoming goblins, the ball ricocheting between so many of them that Sid began losing count.

"Show-off," he chuckled, clapping Harry on the shoulder. His Flinxes were helping William with the Goblin Warriors, and they were slowly managing to bring them all down.

That was when more Goblin Sorcerers began appearing on the wall with them.

The first appeared to Sid's left, just beyond Durim, who was laser-focussed on the battlefield below. Sid swung his Undertaker around and blasted the Sorcerer in the eye. He fired three more shots before the Sorcerer lost all its health and burst apart into flesh.

Then something hit him from behind, and he fell off the wall on the outside.

He realised a couple of Sorcerers had teleported onto the roof of the base. Durim and Tony both turned around and began firing up at them, though Durim's thrown grenades fell short.

"I'll show you!" Durim cried. He jumped forward, but at the same time threw a perfectly-timed grenade below him. It blasted him upwards, allowing him to land on the roof, where he threw two more grenades at each of the Sorcerers, blasting them apart.

"Stop stealing my kills!" Tony called.

"Then stop softening 'em up for me!" Durim laughed.

Sid ran forward, towards William, and lashed out with his leather whip at the archers. The Flinxes ran towards the archers he had tagged and finished the job, and Sid moved onto the next group of archers.

"I think we're beginning to do this!" William called.

Sid double-jumped up to get a scope of how much of the army remained.

"There's still a lot of them remaining!"

"Fall back to the wall!" William said. "Let them get in range of Durim and Tony!"

A golf ball from Harry flew over their heads as they ran backwards, allowing the Goblin Army to advance. Grenades and gunshots began striking the goblins as well. Sid sent his Flinxes back at the front lines, and watched as they bit apart a Goblin Thief, then a Peon and an Archer.

It was then that he felt in his inventory the magical weapon he'd gotten just before the Brain of Cthulhu had spawned – the one that had shot red clouds. Named the Crimson Rod, he'd somehow never tried using it again after it had failed to save them from the Brain, and it had stayed in his inventory the whole time.

Maybe let's try it now?

He thrust it out, and a round red cloud shot forward. It stopped in mid-air and opened up into a longer shape, and blood-red rain began pouring from it. Some Goblin Warriors were unlucky enough to walk beneath as they stepped towards Sid, and they took massive damage.

This could come in handy.

He snapped his whip, and the Flinxes moved forward. Between his whip, the cloud, and the Flinxes, the Goblin Warriors quickly melted.

He looked up at the crimson cloud again as it kept raining down. Definitely going to be handy. If I use it correctly.

"I see Robyn!" William cried. "She's attacking them from behind!"

Sid double-jumped up again, and saw some of the goblins at the rear end of the army had burst into blue fire. Robyn was pouring arrows into them that had been tipped with ice torches. Frostburn arrows, and they were dealing hefty damage to the ranks.

"Here we go, boys!" Sid shouted.

***

The Goblin Army began fleeing once a considerable majority of their ranks had been depleted.

"Let them go," William said. "They know not to mess with us."

"What if they do come back?" Durim asked.

"Then we'll be ready for them."

"The right answer."

"So how many kills did you get in the end, dwarf?" Tony asked.

Durim smiled. "Thirty-three. What about you, human?"

Tony smiled wider as he boasted, "Thirty-five! Oh yeah!!"

Durim groaned. "How did you?"

"I was counting and everything! Ask the Golfer. He'll tell you."

Again, Durim groaned.

"Forty-seven," a new voice came.

They both turned to find Luigi the Painter walking towards them, reloading a paintball gun.

"That's not possible!" Tony exclaimed. "You weren't even there!"

"Was I? I was attacking their flanks. Had practically half the army to myself."

Both the Demolitionist and the Arms Dealer shook their heads, grumbling. It seemed like they finally agreed with each other on something.