Entry #5

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I immediately carried Kyungsoo and brought him to the emergency room. My conscience is eating me up right now.

When we got into the ERㅡ thank God it is near Krystal's roomㅡ they put Kyungsoo on the hospital bed while I left the room and sat in one of the chairs in the hallway.

My hands is filled with bloods and I am terribly shaking. My tears uncontrollably fell down without me noticing. I am so scared.

Am I really that bad to do this to him?

While thinking deep much, I heard a loud cry from a child near. I rushed through the room beside Kyrstal's and I saw a nurse making the baby stop crying. It's Kyungsoo's son, Taeoh.

I didn't hesitated to carry Taeoh and guess what? He stopped crying.

I rubbed his back and sang a lullaby to him. I've never done this to Taeoh (my and Krys' daughter) and this Taeoh brought me a new feeling. It feels so wonderful. The nurse may wandered who I may be, but I just answered her casually.

When I heard his giggle from what I've said, I swear to you, jagiya.. It was the best sound I've ever heard. It sounded like heaven. Jagiya, tell me, is this the real feeling when you take care of your child?

Jongin