~Cloud's POV~

Lighting stares blankly at the wall in front of her while Hope restlessly rocks back and forth on his feet. The sound of cicadas outside buzzes through our ears nonstop. Stupid bugs, I think, kicking at the trunk of a tree in bored frustration. Light raises an eyebrow at me and Hope jumps.

"What're you doing?" He blinks at me.

"Kicking a tree, what does it look like?"

"... Why?"

"Because I'm bored," I shrug.

"How bored?" He cocks his shaggy head to the side.

"Very. So bored that I'm frustrated enough to want to punch through a wall, scream, and repeatedly hit my head against a building." Lightning scoffs silently.

"Okay then," Hope blinks at me.

"Come on then," Lightning unsheathes her weapon. "I'm bored too."

"Um... What exactly is happening?" He furrows his eyebrows.

"Boredom," I shrug, drawing my sword. "Good thing we're outside, huh?"

"I wouldn't mind indoors either," she smirks before charging toward me.

I parry her blows, surprised to find her giving her all for once. I block a fired bullet and dodge a few fire spells directed toward me. Gathering up my own magic power, I cast Big Guard and use Matra Magic, probably the weakest spell I have. She skillfully moves around the missiles, but the last one manages to give her upper left arm a shallow cut. Her mouth twisting into a scowl, she rushes toward me and slashes three times. Once, aimed at my head with her blade vertical, once with a slice aimed for the back of my right thigh, and once she sweeps her sword low at my feet. I jump over it easily and spin around with my sword out to hit her. She blocks with a cringe at the strength behind the blow; then her eyes flicker with some sort of idea that makes her smirk.

Spinning quickly, she swivels around behind me and shoves her hand into my back pocket. Freezing in confusion, I feel her fingers close around something before she grips my arm tightly and holds up an object with a taunting look in her eyes. At the sight of a syringe, my body goes rigid. I can't relax around lab coats, needles, or test tubes. I go pale, clammy, and shaky. Vincent, with the same irritating fears, only looks uncomfortable until he go to far. He'll give you that really scary glare, but if you're his true friend and you can read his eyes, you see a wild panicky feat glimmering in those crimson irises. Strange, no one would be guessed how much me and that creep have in common.

"Don't," I say just over a whisper. Stupid, I know. But ever since Hojo... Since Zack... I can't do it. She just smirks wider and brings the tip near my skin.

"What's wrong? This isn't poisoned, is it?" I can tell my face is whiter than snow by my reflection in a nearby window. Both my hands are shaking and I'm trying so hard not to shove her back and run.

"Light-t-tning, please," I practically beg, weakly pulling on my arm. She blinks at me in confusion, just like Hope, before tossing it down.

"Sorry, geeze," she furrows her eyebrows and puts her blade away. Even with the stupid thing gone, my involuntary panic doesn't subside. Memories... Painful living nightmares I didn't want to return...

The screams of people as they burn alive, their houses caving in on them. Zangan runs to help people in the nearest house escape and ends up dying himself. A mountain path, flying beneath carelessly sprinting feet as I run to the reactor. Carrying Tifa a few feet away to safety. Confronting Sephiroth. A sword piercing through my body, the excruciating pain alone nearly killing me as I bite back a scream. Throwing Sephiroth to his death. It's all fading...

Awakening to pain and torture caused by that mad scientist... Hojo was it? Screams of a dark haired companion in pain as he himself is tweaked. Zack perhaps? Four years of pain, torture, and experiments. Hardened fingernails scratching escape signals into the old glass. A bumpy truck ride. It's all so blurry, so fuzzy and unclear. Unfocused. Muddy. A dying friend on a bloody cliff. Bullet wounds, deep cuts, and destroyed windpipe. Honor exchanged, legacy lived, sword received. Friend gone, mind clear, pain excruciating.

"Cloud!" A voice breaks me from the sharp flashes of painful memories. It's then that I realize I'm down on my knees, my hands holding my head tightly as I relive the pains of Hojo... It's like the shock waves are rolling through me again. A scream of terrifyingly relieving pain. "Cloud, can you hear me?!" A hand rests on my shoulder blade and I jerk away in fear. Hojo! My mind screams. Get away! I spin around and fall on my butt only to see Lightning with a worried look on her face and Hope looking terrified.

"What on earth were you screaming about?" Icy eyes stare into mine, trying to make sense of my pained cries. And to think a simple needle caused all this.

"Noth... Nothing." I swallow hard and stand, putting my barriers back up and shoving those memories down.

"Cloud..." She starts, but I just shake my head, hurrying away to the small wooden house the people of Mideel let us stay in. Not again.

A sword plunging from the sky. A red stain on a pink dress, white orb falling to the liquid below. An evil sneer, a tall man with long silver hair, the wish that maybe the blade had pierced me instead. No no no!

"Stay in my memories, Sephiroth, where you belong."

"They're like this train; it can only go where the tracks take them."

"The planet's dyin', Cloud! Don't you care!?"

"C'mon Chocobo-Head!"

"Cloud... You came..."

"Words aren't the only way to tell people how you feel."

"Go away," I grumble aloud to my mind once I've gotten to my room.

"No," a stern voice. "Not until you tell me what's going on."

"Lightning..." I sigh and shake my head.

"No. You know I hate being left in the dark about these things."

"I don't want to talk about it." When I told the new group what had happened on Gaia, I never really told them my mix up with Zack's mind and mine or Hojo. It feels like... A personal secret that needs to go die in a hole full of dog crap.

"I thought you trusted us." She crosses her arms.

"I do, I just... Light, really, I don't want to talk about it." Please understand. She still sits down of the edge of my bed and crosses her arms tightly, scowling at me expectantly. So freaking stubborn. "Fine, but.. Can you try not to interrupt?"

"I never interrupt you," she frowns.

"One: not true. Two: I always have to say that around Avalanche because of Barret."

~|~|~|~|~

"Wait," Hope frowns. "So you and Vincent have something against Hojo?"

"Everyone does," I shrug. "Just not as much as us."

"I didn't know," Lightning says quietly, staring down at her lap. "Sorry."

"It's fine," I force a smile. "Not your fault I never told you."

"Let me make it up to you," she rushes in an uncharacteristic move of clinging to my arm. I raise an eyebrow.

"You don't have to do anything."

"Good," she smirks, releasing me. "I wasn't going to." I shake my head at her and look back down at my shoes silently. Hope blinks at us before heading toward the door.

"I'm gonna go see if they have any good weapons to mess with around here."

"He's gonna go chat about politics with someone, I'll bet," Lightning mumbles.

"Light?" I frown to myself. "Why did you want to know about all that crap so bad?"

"Wouldn't you want to know what was wrong if I suddenly fell to my knees and started screaming?" She raises an eyebrow. I shrug.

"Yeah, but if you didn't want to tell me, I'd at least respect that."

"Look, I just like to know what's go on. I didn't mean to be nosey or anything."

"It's just bringing back things I've drowned out for years," I say just above a whisper.

I really am sorry though." I don't reply, too busy trying not to look at the image of a dying Zack Fair my mind pushes forth. She cautiously rests one of her strong but soft hands on my knee, bending forward a little to catch my eye. "I care about you, you know." My heart skips for no apparent reason as my eyes finally flicker up to her cool ones. Never being able hold eye contact for long, I look back away at her hand.

"I know," I finally reply.

"You're not mad?"

In all honesty, no, I'm not. I'm not even upset in the least. I feel like they had a right to know, and I would've gotten a status effect that required that sort of cure eventually. Not that I don't usually require a Hyper or two, I just have to suck it up and gather my wits for a second beforehand. But I feel so... Exposed somehow. Free but trapped, no, surrounded, by the things I just wanted to forget. Maybe it's time she knew the truth... But maybe it can wait, at least for a little while longer.

"No, why would I be? I trust you guys," I shrug.

"I'm not a guy..." She says, obviously fighting a teasing smile. "Why don't we all go grab something to eat. I'm sure Hope's starving, and he's probably boring the townspeople here to death."

"Yeah, Mideelians don't have much to do with WRO and Shinra crap," I chuckle softly, standing and stretching.

"You could say that again," she scoffs.

"Yeah, Mideelians don't have much to do with.."

"Shut up, you know what I meant."

"Do I?"

"I hate you," she scowls, standing ans heading toward the door.

"I thought you cared about meeeeeeeee," I whine, just to annoy her.

"You are now unfriended."

"Hey! That's not fair!"

"All's fair in love and war, my friend."

"Does that mean I'm refriended?"

"You're retarded."

"You're retardeder."

"Are you sure this is Gaia? I think I landed on Planet No-Brain."

~|~|~|~|~

"Can I sleep yet?" Hope yawns.

"No. Quit whining," Light snaps at him. So hot and cold at the same time. Wait, what? Cloud, you have issues...

"Why not?"

"Because we're supposed to be looking for that Hojo freak."

"He can sleep," I wave her off. "I don't want to anyway." Oh nightmares. How I love you.

WILL