"So, do I want to know why Natsu and Gray are running like madmen across the perimeters of upstairs, playing Pacer Test with my babies as relay batons with themselves?" Bickslow asks.

"I don't know why they took your babies."

"Thanks, that explains nothing."

No one could come to an agreement on anything, there was too much chaos over theorizing about genuinely everyone, and some people wanted some privacy to sink into their own depressive thoughts or something. So collectively, the guild decided to take a break and have a huge cleanup before continuing the watch.

And Bickslow had just finished kitchen duty to find his babies were gone. Seriously, that is not supposed to happen.

Evergreen looks at him with a face of complete disgust.

Levy answers for her. "Gray lost the game, but then everyone made a point that Natsu doesn't deserve a servant after being an idiot in the last episode. So things escalated and they started trying to find out who was stronger once and for all."

"And that turned into a race?"

"Erza convinced them not to fight," Evergreen says, "so they went with dreadful athletic competitions instead."

"What are they, masochists?"

-

"Are you still upset, Cana?"

Surprisingly, it's Freed that comes to her, two cans of soda in his hand and a glass in the other.

He'd found her in the second hall– on the other end of the main hall. This room was considerably smaller, and was generally differently shaped with differently coloured furniture– but it at least had the same amount of couches and lounging space.

It was right by the dorms.

"At least bring me flowers," Cana grumbles, sprawled over the couch.

"You're on an alcohol ban for the next twenty four hours," Freed says.

Cana whines, "this is domestic abuse!"

"I am not your spouse."

"Then what are you, Freed?" Cana asks.

And when Freed turns his eyes down, Cana is looking right at him, rolled over, face flushed with drunkenness– but her eyes are firm, and full of yearning.

He sets the cans on the table, setting down his glass and stealing Cana's from her fingers before she tries for another sip of her half-full glass.

Seriously, who fills a wine glass all the way to the top? Cana, apparently.

"For now?" Freed says. " Fucking devastated."

Cana lurches up to stop him, but Freed is throwing all the wine back with all the vigor of a man whose angst has never been acknowledged, and she yelps , "MY WINE!"

"I'm an S-class candidate too!" Freed yells, because he's such a lightweight and he's an idiot, and Cana is going to be killed by Laxus for this , "and literally no one even mentioned me! Because the competition on the mens' side is so much worse!"

Cana bites her lip, because she understands so damn well.

"I get you but. Calm down Freed. Calm down!"

"I will NOT calm down! I want some time to be sad too, why are you the only one that gets to have a depression drink?!"

In every year of S-class trials, there were always the favourites and then the returners. And the favourites always won. The returners just get forgotten. They're just stepping stones, like a naturally paved roadblock on their way to the title.

Cana and Freed have been candidates for at least two years now, Cana for one more. But with Laxus, and then Erza, and then Mira and Mystogan and maybe next to come was Natsu's generation– not once have they even come close to succeeding. It's not getting any closer.

Cana cranks the soda right open, holding one out for free.

"No more wine for you, baby boy," she says, "but you're getting shitfaced with me so neither of us have to deal with the consequences."

(Later, Erza and Laxus find them, and they do in fact, face the consequences. Because no, they can't pretend to be drunk on soda.)

-

"Mira-nee," Lisanna approaches her sister. "Is it... really alright, like this?"

Mirajane's face falls.

"You're talking about Natsu going on that S-class mission?" she asks, "well, he's reckless, but he's always made it through when it counts. I'm sure he'll be–"

"I'm not talking about Natsu," Lisanna says, sharper than she'd intended, but she couldn't bring herself to meet her sister in the eyes. Mirajane looks over– but Lisanna hesitates, too. "I don't exist in the future."

Mira stops.

The plate in her hand makes a sharp sound against the cutlery, but she puts it down. And bitterly, very bitterly, she realized she had to admit it.

"I know," she says.

(She knows that in the future... Whatever happened, Lisanna was not there with them.)

"It's not going to happen," Mirajane says. "It's not going to."

And when she says it, there's a bitter tinge in her voice. A deep, denying promise, and an anger that didn't quite have anywhere to be directed.

"We don't know for sure yet," she says.

Lisanna doesn't know what to say to that. She could only nod and believe.

-

Loke's laying on his side, head propped up by an arm. Happy is seated beside him, and they're both staring– very intently– at the glass cup on the table, just a little near the edge.

"You ever," Loke speaks up first, "you know... get the urge?"

Happy is still staring very intently. "The urge to push a glass off the table when it's sitting there, defenseless? Yeah. All the time."

"Same."

"I thought only cats did that," Happy says.

Loke hums, "weird," and elaborates nothing more, his eyes still stuck on the glass on the table.

It's so– it's so... droppable . Like, it's there. It's meant to be.

The two cats control themselves for all of twenty seconds.

(Later there's a loud yell of 'WHO SPILLED THAT ON THE CARPET?!' and Loke and Happy would be upstairs, pretending not to hear a thing.)

"I'm tired already..." Natsu groans.

"It's because you had a pick a stupid fight," Gray grumbles, shedding his shirt like it's the obvious thing to do, "seriously, what a waste of energy."

"You're complaining because you lost?"

"Huh? I won, you goldfish brain!"

"No, it was me!"

"Agh, it's fine, we had witnesses!" Gray yells, "Pappa and Poppo, you saw it, right?"

"Saw it! Saw it!" the corresponding dolls responded. "Gray won! Gray won!"

"Peppe and Pippi are the only honest ones!" Natsu yells back.

"Natsu! Natsu! It was Natsu!"

Bickslow held his last little totem in his hand, wondering just why and how those two managed to win over some of them. They usually didn't care for humans other than the Thunder Legion, but apparently if you give Natsu and Gray a disembodied soul they'll infect it with the Fairy Tail camaraderie instantly. What?

(Also, is this the first time they've ever disagreed amongst themselves?)

"When did you learn their names?" Loke couldn't help but question.

In the span of exactly thirty minutes, Gray and Natsu had managed to completely turn the totems into their personal cheerleaders, and no one was quite sure how that happened.

Bickslow had to turn Puppu to face him, staring it right in the nonexistent eyes. "Are you the only one that still loves me?" he questions, and somehow, the fact that none of them answered him was sad.

Loke pats him on the shoulders. "Now, now."

"So do I want to know why Freed and Cana are in the corner on handstands?" Evergreen asks.

"To cool their heads," Laxus says.

"Lack of self-preservation," Erza adds, "this punishment is for their own good."

"We said we were sorry!?" the two wail. "I won't drink again," Freed promises, "my arms were not made for this. I'm sorry."

"Be a man!" Elfman yells.

"I'm a woman!" Cana argues.

"Then be a woman!"

-

"And here we are, picking right back where we've left off," Gray says. "Looking forward to seeing you get in big trouble, Natsu."

Natsu groans. "Let's hope I live to see the other three hundred episodes of this..."

"Ah, Freed and Cana, you can stop that now."

Several spittakes go across the room.

"LAXUS!" they yell, and Laxus instinctively holds up his hands in apprehensive surrender again. "Dude! You should've stopped him!"

"I don't control my future self," he argues. Which is weird because he would've done literally everything to stop Happy if he stepped on the second floor. Including just punting him out of the building.

"Plus, we all know if I caught Natsu going on an overqualified job, Master would send me after him," he says. And yes, it's happened before. It was a normal subjugation back then, though. Just on a too-huge scale for 10-year-old (rough guess) Natsu. "I would rather avoid that, thanks."

Mira grimaces. "Yeah, letting him just go is something I would do, not you," she says. She ignores the angry looks sent her way. "It's weird. It's like me and Laxus changed personalities."

And– and that was sort of true.

Laxus was quiet and unsociable, but he was calm and rational in most matters. He listened to the Master, and his prideful conceitedness only began to rise in him in recent years. It seems to have become completely full-blown three years down the road.

But for Mira, who has been rebellious from the start– she's lost it all to rationality, pacifism, and a sort of meekness had taken over. She was almost a completely different person.

Unlike Mira, who arguably changed for a betterment of some sort, Laxus seems to have taken a whole turn for the worst.

"Your rebellious phase?" Gildarts asks. "Well, compared to the other kids, you haven't really had one yet. I suppose a late one is fair."

"I'm interested," Mira says.

"I'm not, give the man a break," Gray says.

"I'm dreading the future," Laxus says, incredibly humbled by the sudden realization that his appearances are only going to get worse .

"HEY, who said that?!"

"It's true, Natsu. Just take it."

"Aye..."

"Yeah, tell him!" Mira yells, "at least one guy here knows the real consequences! Not that Natsu is going to die of course he's too dumb for that."

"He is being a bit of a dick though," Elfman says.

"Yeah, care about me a little," Natsu grumbles.

"You brought this upon yourself," Erza says. "But I agree. It's a serious violation of the rules, and I will see to it that you get your punishment. After bringing you back home safely."

"Laxus, you really care so little about Natsu?" Lisanna asks.

Cana sighs, "can you tone that down, guys? Can't you see our Laxus over there dying in shame?"

They turn to find Laxus is now seated behind Bickslow with Evergreen on one side and Freed on the other like some sort of physical barricade. The man himself has his face buried in his hands, dwelling in mortified silence.

Bickslow chuckles, a perfect human shield. "Ah sorry, Laxus is experiencing a bit of a mental breakdown, if you could give him a moment to recover?"

The totems hovered around them, one trying to squeeze down the gaps of Laxus' arms for some kind of snuggle. Laxus didn't acknowledge them, but they tried anyway.

"Well, I suppose we should start looking at future Laxus as a different person," Gray says.

"Hey, why does Laxus get protection from future responsibilities? You guys gave it right to me!" Natsu complains.

"Well, unlike Laxus, you would totally still do something like this now."

"Mira-nee's just... casually walking up to the second floor to interrupt Laxus' tea time," Lisanna says, "that seems so weird."

"Yeah... we had a whole feud over it too, now that's just unfair," Cana pouts. "We want the upstairs tea, too! Laxus never shares."

"The upstairs tea is the same thing as the downstairs tea, though," Erza says.

"Yeah, but it's upstairs ."

"There's a novelty."

"Plus you guys kept sipping tea up there while looking down on us. Of course we're jealous."

"Liar!"

"That's a bold lie and we know it!"

"How many blue cats are there in this world, Laxus??"

"You just wanna see him in trouble, don't you?"

"Hey hey– are you picking a fight with Mira of all people, Laxus?"

"I thought Mira was the only person you didn't pick fights with??"

"...wait, why?" Loke questions.

"Uh, mutual edgelord respect or something," Lisanna says. "I don't know. They've always gotten along strangely well compared to everyone else.

Someone whistles.

"Demon Mirajane lives," Levy says in awe, "I'm getting shivers just looking at it."

"The contrast to her look is amazing," Cana says, "but really. Mira's hostile all the time, but actually being furious is pretty rare in itself."

"I do not want to be on the other side of that..."

"Laxus is amazing, he's able to laugh in the face of it."

"But I guess future Mira's pretty strict on the S-class standards, huh," Gray says. "What an exchange, though."

"I suppose actually having some experience in the quests have given her a better perspective of what it entails and what it risks," Erza says. "I know my first S-class was a wake-up-call as well."

"Judging by the reaction, it's stacked up quite a reputation over the years," Gildarts chuckles. "Island of demons, huh."

"Didn't we just defeat a demon?"

"The Lullaby was a demon, right?"

"Hey now, there are demons aside from Zeref's, alright?" Mira says. "It's probably not on the same scale, but demons are still dangerous. If it's an S-class, I'm thinking we might have to deal with a horde."

"Says you and you tamed Sitri somehow?"

"Sitri was a special case, and you all know I had Master helping me with that one."

"Yeah! Leave me alone!" Natsu says.

"You wanna die, Natsu?" Gray asks. Then, "Laxus really just said no to Master about this? This is weird ."

"Ehh, let him say no for once," Mirajane says.

"Speaking of which, where am I?" Erza wonders.

"Well, since you're not already there, I'm thinking you probably had an errand to run," Cana says, "I mean, you just got arrested and released, right? Maybe you needed to go settle the paperwork on that?"

"Eh, doesn't Master handle those?"

"He did say that he was making us do it ourselves once we got old enough."

"Ah."

"But seriously, we need to go get Natsu back," Loke says, "if Laxus isn't doing it, and the Thunder Legion aren't in the guild..."

"Well, I don't think Mira's going to go," Lisanna says, "what about Gray and Elf-niichan?"

"I mean, we could ," Elfman says, "I don't think I'll be able to catch up, though. They're probably at Hargeon by now."

"Ah, then me and Levy probably can't make it either," Cana chuckles.

"I might be able to," Gray says.

"Might is a might ," Levy says. "If we really want to catch up with them before they head out to sea, I'm actually thinking along the lines of Max, or Jet, or maybe..." she looks up at the screen with thought. "Now that I think about it, where's Mest?"

"Mest?" Loke asks.

"You haven't been confronted by him yet?" Gray asks. "I guess you're not mysterious enough to draw his interest, huh?"

"Are you trying to offend me, Gray?"

"...huh, now that I think about it, he's also strangely absent in the guild," Lisanna says. "I wonder if he's on some long-term mission too."

"But that's nothing new, right?" Cana says, "he's the stealthiest of us."

Erza sighs, "his teleportation magic would certainly be useful now."