Oh my fuck, who am kidding? Nothing is all good ... like... at all!

I've been lusting over a fourteen-year-old kid... a minor... a fucking minor...

God , there is something wrong with me... Seriously, seriously wrong with me...

I'm shocked... stunned... my head filled with complete and utter disbelief. The first time I feel emotionally and physically intrigued by a person... and he's fourteen...

God, I'm not a fucking paedophile. He didn't catch my eye because he looked like a kid or because he looked young... it was the fucking opposite!! If anything... no, no, no...

Fuck.this.shit.

I know a hopeless situation when I see one... holy fuck.

That's why I stick to bikes. No drama. No bullshit.

I shake my head and tear myself out of my thoughts...

I need to pull myself together... I'm still at Jeff's party for Christ's sake.

"Sexy Lexy, there you are!"

Talk of the devil...

"Hey Jeff", I call out to him and manage a smile... but he's my best friend, so there is no fooling him. "What's up with you, Lex?", he says coming closer and hugging me. "And don't even think about bullshitting me", he whispers in my ear.

Right, here goes...

I'm not sure what reaction I was expecting from him... but clearly not this one... he's laughing... no, not laughing, howling... slapping his thigh... tears running down his cheeks... ok Jeff, glad you're getting a decent dose of entertainment out of this... bloody wanker (and I do mean it in the nicest way possible).

"You done then", I ask him tentatively, raising my brow. He barks out another laugh.

"OK, I checked out a guy and made the odd inappropriate comment... I'm healed now! It's not like I'm going after the kid! But fuck, how was I to know he was that young? He's so tall and..."

"Last time I checked, age was defined by birth and not by body height and build", Jeff cuts me off, still laughing.

Touché.

"Come on, perv, let's get back to the party", he says with a cheeky wink. I roll my eyes and follow him back out. Almost everyone has left the table and is dancing in the big tent they've set up at the other end of the garden. Jeff drags me to the middle of the make-do dance floor and starts grinding against me. Ah yes, the memories - good times. He winks at Jen who is giggling and dancing with her brother. She winks back at us. "It's all just good fun, and don't you know it", he shouts over the music. The bulge he's rubbing against me begs to differ... but whatever you say, buddy. Whatever you say.

After a whole night of dancing, if you can indeed call whatever the fuck we were doing dancing, I finally get home at 6am.

Defo getting too old for this shit.

I justabout manage to kick off my shoes before falling into my bed. It's been a great party... all in all... and little Jimmy's pretty much forgotten. Just how it needs to be.

And it's not like I'm likely to see him again, so it's all good....

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