Happy Hogan was visibly peeved, to the point where even Peter had shut up... slightly. He stood in the hallway outside of Tony's genius lab, his frustration concentrated into a glare pointed at the door. The teen next to him seemed fairly amused by the situation, still hyped up from a last-minute tour of the Avengers facility.

"Friday, tell me again why Tony isn't responding." Happy rubbed his temples, unaware of Peter sneaking in a selfie behind his back.

"The Boss is incapacitated at the moment. Shall I unlock the door for you?" The robotic female voice answered. Happy huffed and nodded, before realizing he had to give a verbal response to the AI.

"Yeah go ahead." A light click resounded from the shiny lab door, and suddenly a familiar beat echoed out of the room. Peter lit up at the noise, somehow becoming more excited than he already was. Grinning to himself, he stomped along to the beat emanating from Tony's lab. Boom boom clap. Boom boom clap. He was having quite a fun time until he noticed Happy staring at him, quickly stopping his little dance and coughing into his fist in embarrassment.

"Okay. You're staying here kid." Happy pointed at Peter, his face deadpan.

"Aw what? No I- I'm fine, I don't-" Peter struggled, flailing his hands as he tried to argue with a man who was clearly tired of his shit. Peter gave up with a huff and a pout, backing away from the door and Happy like a kicked puppy. Happy rolled his eyes at the display stepping into the lab quickly, eager to quit babysitting. Clearly he was bad at it, for Peter wandered off as soon as Happy couldn't see him.

--

"I honestly don't know what else I expected."

Upon entering, Happy was greeted with the sight of an extremely drunk Stark, and some very loud Queen music. Tony Stark, the genius billionaire, swayed dangerously on top of a bar counter, an empty bottle of whiskey in hand and a few broken glasses littering the floor around him. As the next song began to play, Tony brought the mouth of the bottle to his lips, singing along in a drunken slur.

"...gon' have myself~ a real good time~ I feel ali-i-," Tony paused his singing, much to Happy's relief, to give out a belch. Loopy with drink, Tony giggled to himself before he noticed his bodyguard's presence, lighting up like a child at Christmas. His giddy face was almost comical as Tony unsteadily got onto his knees, reaching behind the bar to swat at something before gesturing to Happy to wait. The music continued to blast as Tony struggled with whatever was behind the bar, eventually rolling right off the counter top and thumping to the floor. At this, two peals of drunken laughter erupted before a hand waved out from behind the bar, grasping for a solid grip before pulling up it's owner.

Naomi Swanson popped up just as the song increased in tempo, mouthing the lyrics to her one-person audience in glee. Tony, of course, chose to sing along to the song full-throttle, popping up beside her and now using a full whiskey bottle as a microphone.

"I-im a shooting star leap- uh- sky~ uh-tiger...gravity..." Tony evidently forgot the lyrics as he began to sway once more, knocking into the Marvel fan dancing beside him. Naomi burst out in laughter once more at this, doubling over on herself as Tony attempted- and failed- to stay upright.

Happy loud out an exasperated sigh at the sight of them- now sitting on the tile as gasping for air in between bursts of laughter. "Friday, shut off the music." Happy's voice was all too tired as the music shut off, drunken giggles now filling the air as Tony attempted to tell Naomi something, only to interrupt himself with cackles. Instead, he waved his hands frantically at her, finally managing to get a few words out. "Do the- *hic* the- the," Tony waved his fingers around Naomi's eyes, much to her amusement. Tears forming in her eyes from her laughs, Naomi shakily crawled over to the bar- using way too much effort to grab a pair of sunglasses off of it. With the shades in hand, Naomi collapsed onto her back, rolling over and attempting to compose herself.

With an overly urgent expression, Tony motioned for Happy to pay attention to the woman on the floor, who had now put on her sunglasses. She attempted a refined expression, breaking character several times to laugh, swatting Tony every time he distracted her. Finally she reached her goal, which was dramatically lowering her sunglasses, before raising them to her eyes again.

At a loss, Happy glanced over to Tony for some indication on what that was supposed to be. Tony appeared to have enjoyed it greatly, leaning against a bar stool and giggling like her sunglasses were the funniest thing he had ever seen. Naomi had rolled onto her back- appearing to try to get onto her feet to no avail. Eventually Tony looked back at Happy, who clearly did not understand what was happening.

"Wha- nono no you don't g- *hic* get it..." Tony told him, clearly very distraught that Happy didn't find Naomi as funny as he did. "Its the-the Audrey H-hepburn..." Tony trailed off, massaging his temples as he began to lose the effects of the alcohol. Thankfully Naomi picked up for him after having managed to sit up after several tries.

"Breakfast a-t Tiffany's..." She mumbled, not even looking at Happy as she suddenly found her hand very fascinating. "Why- why...it's so dar... dark..." Happy rolled his eyes as the adult woman forgot she was wearing sunglasses. He supposed that the Breakfast at Tiffany's reference was actually quite good however, as Happy realized that Naomi bore a slight resemblance to the actress.

"Alright, come on Boss." Happy sighed as he helped Tony to his feet, straining slightly under his deadweight. Happy slumped him onto a bar stool, feeling like he never got a break from babysitting.

"Get...get Hepburn." Tony groaned, clearly sobering up fast. Hesitantly, Happy moved to help up Naomi, surprised when she actually managed to carry part of her weight. He set her onto the stool next to Tony's, deadpanning when he realized just how childish the pair were.

---

Tony gives Naomi the nickname 'Hepburn' in this chapter, for anyone who doesn't get it he's referring to the Breakfast at Tiffany's actress Audrey Hepburn. If you remember that Naomi is portrayed by Anne Hathaway, the two actually look quite alike. Audrey has an iconic moment in the movie with some iconic sunglasses, the scene is below for reference That's the scene that drunken Naomi attempted to reference that Tony found so funny. This nickname will continue to be used throughout this story, so I wanted to explain it here.