"Well, well, well. If it isn't Miss Fatass." An annoying voice mocked.

I rolled my eyes and answered, "Yup that's me, did you call?" Because honestly, I didn't feel like arguing today, as much as I hate the name calling.

She scoffed, "I heard you skipped class with Bryson, I always knew you were a sneaky slut."

"Like you aren't one yourself. If you'll excuse me , I have a uniform to change into."

"You're still on the cross country team aren't you?" She smirked evily at me.

"Yes. Yes, I am. And now, because of you're little rat who can't seem to shut up, our team isn't gonna go to state this year. But hey, why would you care? You don't care about anybody but yourself, because you're a selfish bitch."

"You.take.that.back!" Her teeth gritted, and her hands turned into fists, she looked like she wanted to punch me.

"Do it, let go. Punch me. Beat the crap out of me ,if you'd like,but you'll get suspended from the cheer squad. And someone else will be captain."

She glared at me, then smiled. "You're lucky I actually care about my team position. Watch out freak, I'll pay you back somehow." She stomped out of the gym, the door slamming shut.

I could've stood there, and think about what she'd do to me, but I was already missing out on.

I was just gonna have to wait till later.

□□□□□□□□□□□□□

"Hello?" Crystal asked through the other side of the phone.

"Let's go shopping." I told her, examining my body in the skinny jeans I tried on that were hiding behind my hundreds of jeggings.

This was why I didn't wear jeans to school, my legs looked like two beefy sausage sticks.

They were too tight, and constricting.

Maybe it was all the running practices I skipped that made me gain more weight.

Kimberly was right, I am a fatass.

"Ew." I told myself, quickly stripping them off.

"Okayy..but why? You said you hated going shopping."

"Did I?"

"Yes. Yes you did, like a million times!"

I sighed, and sat down in the middle of the closet looking at everything as I explained to her why I wanted to go.

"But you always ask to go to the gym to clear your mind out."

"Crystal! I'm litteraly giving you a chance to go shopping together, and all you want to do is talk about why I'm doing this?"

I knew she wasn't going to let me off easy, but I had to make her believe me, as much as I wanted to believe myself.

I needed to get away from my gym cravings, and start creating new habits, new things to occupy me.

Surely there was more to me than fitness.

I needed to stop thinking about Bryson too, who has currently been on my mind all day. I mean I didn't want him to, but the fact that he still came after me, after what he said keeps me thinking.

'He really does care about me doesn't he?'

'No'

'Yes!'

'No!'

'YE-'

"Okay fine, be ready by the time I get there because I have a huge test tomorrow."

"Kk." I smiled and hung the phone.

I wanted to wear something cute, because maybe if I felt cute, I'll feel like I needed to get Bryce off my mind.

'So what do I wear?'

°°

"That's what you're wearing? " Crystal asked me once I in the car.

"Yeah, why? Should I change?" I panicked tugging the outfit I had on.

"No, no. It's just, I've never seen you wear something so..." She trailed off still eyeing me.

"So what?!" I screamed at her face.

"Out there.. Yeah, out there. You've never worn something that's out of your comfort zone."

I felt offended, was that true?

"Um, yes I have. Cryst, you Know I have..."

She rolled her eyes, and started driving.

"Okay, don't get all butthurt on me. I'm just saying, you don't always dress like that. You look cute, don't get me wrong, but-"

"Ok, ok I get it. I'm sorry I yelled at you I just really need a change right now."

"What do you mean by that?" She looked at me for a moment worriedly before turning her eyes back into the road.

"Nothing. Let's just have fun today."

"On a school night?'

"On a school night." I replied looking out the window.

I knew damn well she wasn't convinced, but I sure as hell did not want to talk to her about...you know who...

Don't get me wrong, she's my best friend and all...but if I told her what was up, she'd never let me hear the end of it.

She'll be like, "ooh koleen likes a BOY in our school!! Oohh someones in loooove!!"

I didn't want to hear it.

Then again why should I be the one torturing myself, while he's thinking about who knows who you know?

I shouldn't be over thinking this, it's just a boy...

'A very hott boy..'

Ok he's hot, but he's not the only hot guy I've interacted with or anythin-

"Leen!"

"What?" I replied confused.

"I asked you what store you wanted to go first, we're here." She says, pulling up her sunglasses and stepping out of the car like a super model.

This, is why you should never let a boy into your mind.

'Unless he's hot.'

I stepped out of the car nervously.

The public was gonna see me now.

And I hoped they accepted it.

♢♢.♢♢♢

As my black heels clicked against the marbled floors, my stomach did a little flip.

I immediately tugged my hair to the front to cover my shoulders.

I wasn't even completely inside, and I was already a nervous wreck.

'Shit, I should've never worn this..' I cursed.

Meanwhile, Crystal was just beside me looking as confident as ever.

"Let's go to Pacsun first." She offered, I faked a smile at her hoping she wouldn't see the fright behind it.

As we walked to the store, I couldn't help but feel like everyone was starring.

I looked at Crystal for support, but she didn't seem fazed, or maybe even noticed.

Maybe it was all in my head.

But I couldn't help but regret coming, I just wanted to go home, and curl into my bed with a bigg ass t-shirt on.

"Hey, how you doing? " One guy called walking towards us.

I looked at him wide eyed, and hid behind Crystal who looked confused.

"Koleen, you're embarrassing me." She whispered, pulling my hand off her shoulder.

"Well he was creepy, he could've assaulted me you know."

"Yeah, in front of me? I don't think so." She scoffed, and walked past him ignoring him.

Once we finally made it into the store, I felt relieved.

At least I'll be safer from the public's eye in here, than out there.

I can't believe I thought I could do this.

When I looked in the mirror at home, I thought I looked good. I thought I could fake my confidence, and show people who Koleen Pares really is...

But I can't.

I can't fake this confidence.

"Leeny don't look now, but that cute worker over there is soo checking you out." Crystal giggled, tearing me from my thoughts.

I rolled my eyes, "He's not. He's working."

I walked to the back of the store, where he couldn't see me and started looking there while Crystal followed.

I honestly didn't even like Pacsun that much, everything looked basic, and was super expensive. Like 80 dollars for a pair of jeans?

Hah, I don't even wear jeans.

But maybe I should start looking for some?

To try something new?

Ofcourse Crystal being Crystal, she only liked coming here because she claims that the workers are cute.

Which, I'll admit, they kind of are. But that doesn't mean we should come here when they're here.

Wouldn't they noticed we don't even buy anything?

"Oh my gosh! He's heading over here! Act natural, I'm pretty sure his voice is hot." Crystal beamed, fixing her hair and everything.

I didn't respond, because I didn't care that he was coming.

But then again I could care, and relieve the back of my mind from Bryson thoughts....

"Hey there, need any help?" The guy voiced, and sure enough his voice was hot.

Just not hot enough.

"Hi, and no sir." I made sure to put emphasis on sir, to let him know I'm underage.

I mean he looked like he was in his twenties so technically he was old.

He didn't have to know I barely turned eighteen.

And if Bryson's right, that I do have a baby face, then I probably looked like what? sixteen?

"I don't need help in anything." I smiled at him politely , and walked away from him.

But the boy only followed me!

"Are you sure? Because you look lost, I can introduce you to some pieces that would look good on you." He replied eyeing me.

"No sir, I am not in need of your services, but maybe someone else does." Again I walked away from him, going to another section, but he only followed me again!

'Crap...'

I tried to remain unfazed, because that is what you do when a creepy person is talking to you, you remain calm...

"So do you do sports? You look like you lift..."

I knew when he said that he was probably checking me out, so I stopped pretending to look and confronted him, " I have a boyfriend."

At first he looked at me wide eyed, but then he chuckled and smirked, "Then where is he? I know girls only say that to turn us down."

"Ah, so you've been turned down before."

"No, it's just been all over the internet lately."

"Well he's obviously not here right now, as you can see." I gesture around me.

He looked around, "Yeah, I can see that."

"Ok then, bye." I walked away, and tried to find Crystal as fast as I could because the worker was seriously freaking me out.

"That doesn't mean I believe you." The worker cut in front of me, blocking my way.

I was about to cuss him out, when I stopped myself, and again faked smiled at him.

"You want me to call him over here or something?"

He smirked, and walked closer to me.

'There better be cameras in here...' I thought, as I backed away.

"Sweetie we both know there is no boyfriend. Now why don't we have lunch together once my shift is over-"

I laughed, "Sweetie? I am not your sweetie. And excuse you but I am not interested. Now step away from me, and go bother someone else."

He looked shocked, like no girl has ever turned him down,which is unlikely since he did have some boyish charm. But I just wasn't interested with the way he approached me.

I don't even know why the 'feeling cute' thing would even work to not feel any thoughts for Bryson.

Because honestly? He was still there, I was seriously debating whether to facetime him on Snap chat, and pretend for him to be my boyfriend.

But I didn't, I knew he would want a favor back.

And I didn't trust him enough for him to have 'my back.'

"But you're the only one I want to bother. You're cute..." He side smiled at me, with his puppy brown eyes.

I rolled my eyes.

He's still trying to convince me?

I've seen a cuter side smile, and I've seen puppy brown eyes that are way cuter than his.

I've seen it all.

And no, I am not talking about the person who shall not be named today....

"Aw, you're cute too. Just not my type." A glimpse of blonde hair caught my attention and I fast-walked towards it.

"Crystal we are leaving, so leave all that and let's go." I told her grabbing her wrist out of the store.

"But, but I wanted to see Brandon."

"Well, Brandon is too busy to check you out."

"What happened did ya'll not hit it off? He seems like a really nice guy." She asks curiously.

"Well sorry to burst your bubble, but he is far from nice. He's a creep. At least that's what it seemed to me."

"Hey, can I have some of that?" A voice interrupted our conversation.

We both looked towards the guy, who's group of friends were laughing behind him.

I already felt a bad thing coming.

"What?" I choked out.

"Some of dat ass!" He starts laughing, while his friends laugh even harder tugging their phones.

I then realized what happened, they recorded me. And as much as I wanted to be more angry than embarrassed, the embarrassment won over.

My cheeks were burning red, and I sprinted towards the nearest bathroom with tears wanting to pour out.

When Crystal finally catched up to me she started telling me things that were 'supposed' to make me feel better, but it only made it worse.

"Ugh I feel so humiliated!" I yelled at her." Who the hell does that and records someone?" I cried out, wishing I could strip my body off as easily as stripping off a shirt.

"Koleen don't be hard on yourself! They were just disgusting assholes!"

" I hate my body." I say out loud without thinking.

I did.

Not just because of those assholes, but in general.

I wanted to blend in in school.

Fit into tiny clothes, wear a tiny bikini, wear some fitted skinny jeans.

"Koleen you're a fucking Goddess. You may not see it but you are, despite what you or anybody else sees. Actually no, scratch that, you're not a fucking Goddess, youre the fucking goddess. You're Koleeen Pares, Soccer, Cross Country, and Track STAR! You use that body of yours to achieve great things like beating that douchè River Schneider-"

"That's not his last name..."I sniffled, laughing a little.

"Fuck his last name, the thing is don't tear yourself down. You're my best friend, and I hate to see you like this." She finished off, before giving me a hug.

"Thank you. I needed that..." I told her, resting my head on her shoulder.

"No problem bestie." She replied squeezing me one last time before letting me go.

She really was a good friend despite how annoying she can be sometimes....

And I was grateful for that.

♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧