It had been well over a month since I last saw Michael. I practically had been living in Paris for the past month. I was busy with photoshoots, fashion shows, and interviews. Paris was my focal point while I left and traveled to our countries and cities for shoots and things. I was averaging about 15 hours of sleep per week. I don't even know how I was still going. I was stressed to the max and it caused me to lose my appetite and I barely even remembered to drink water.

Michael was extremely busy as well, working on his new album he'd be releasing next year. He was in the studio day and night working on melodies and writing lyrics. We couldn't talk like we used to because of the time difference and our busy schedules, but we tried when we could.

I don't know if it was just me, but after Vegas it felt like something ignited in us. Something strong, passionate. Something that could withstand anyone or anything.

It was even evident in our voices when we talked on the phone. His flirting, although still dirty sometimes, was more relaxed. More like he just wanted to woo me and get to know every detail there was to know about me, instead of just trying to bed me. I appreciated that.

I missed him.

"Alishaaa," I dragged out for dramatic effect, "when do I get to go back to LA?" I asked while getting fitted for a gown for my shoot in two days. "We leave here in 3 days," she said, yawning. She was just as tired and drained mentally and physically as me. I felt for her. I was grateful to have someone so true to me like her, because if I didn't eat, sleep, or drink, neither was Alisha.

"Yessss," I moaned, titling my head up. I couldn't wait to be able to sleep in my own bed. What I've learned through my hectic career is that truly, there is no place like home. I was in my secret condo still in West Hollywood. Aiden had officially moved out of our Beverly Hills condo and I didn't know where he was.

When I got back from Vegas with Michael, Aiden and I talked over lunch. It was full of pain and anguish, but I needed it in order to really move on.

It went a little something like this...

Flashback

I took a deep breath as I saw Aiden sitting at the table with his right leg bouncing. Something did when he was nervous.

"Here you go, Ms. Richmond," the waiter said as he pulled out my chair for me to sit. I sat down and thanked him. I also ordered a water, because I felt a lump in my throat and I hadn't even looked Aiden in his eyes yet.

I cleared my throat and looked out the glass window, watching people as they walked back. "You look great," Aiden said. I could sense the anxiety in his words. I nodded and thanked him quietly. It went silent again.

Why did I agree to this? This is so awkward. I'm sitting across from the man who broke my heart, who was also the same man I had loved since I was 11. We used to talk about getting married and traveling the world together, so full of love and excitement and now, I'm sitting here unable to speak as if he was a stranger to me. "How-How are you?" he stuttered. "I'm okay," I said back truthfully. I could see him nod out of the corner of my eye.

He sighed. "I know I've hurt you, but could you please look at me?" It took me a while and I swallowed hard before I looked at him. His eyes bored into mine and I felt tears start to form. He slowly put his hand over mine and looked at me sadly. I pulled my hand away, but not abruptly and shook my head. He pulled his hand back and looked down in shame. "I'm so sorry I hurt you, Smiles," he said, almost choking on his words when he said Smiles. My nickname that I used to love hear come out of his lips.

I looked down, "Why'd you do it?" I said with a tear falling down my cheek. I quickly wiped it. "I-I don't know. I guess with everything, me traveling for soccer and you traveling all over, I felt lonely and-and I know that's no excuse but we weren't as happy, so I went looking for attention I didn't get from you and I found it. What's the old saying? If you go looking for something, you'll find it."

Another tear fell from my eye. "Aiden, I gave you all of me. Every last bit. You changed on me. I'm still the same girl I've always been. None of this has gone to my head. If anything, it showed me how grateful I was to have had someone like you by my side, but you left. You left me stranded in a new chapter of my life and all I asked for was your support and love and you couldn't even give me that. You were lonely? Did you ever stop to think about me? My boyfriend left me when I needed him most," I said with my voice wavering and cracking.

"I know, Ash, I know. And I blame myself for all of this happening but how could you blame me? You were constantly gone and I felt like I didn't fit into your world. That world isn't meant for me. Yes, I have fame for playing USL, but it could never compare to yours," he said, sighing.

"Aiden, that's exactly my point! You shouldn't have ever compared the "fame," I said in quotes. "Our relationship shouldn't have ever gone to the point where our worlds crashed. You didn't need to "fit into my world," because you were my world. All I wanted was you and you couldn't even see that! I wanted us to work, I really did. But you broke it. You broke us. Looking at you right now, having this conversation is breaking my heart into pieces!"

"I'm sorry," he said choking up, "I regret all the pain and hurt I've caused you. I understand now, I do. But, you found someone else too..." He trailed off.

"Don't try to blame this on him. Him and I never ever did anything," i said defensively. "I know I went looking for someone else, but so did you. You emotionally attached yourself to him. Where did that leave me?" He questioned, slightly angry.

I sighed. "Michael and I are just friends. And yes, maybe I did emotionally attach myself to him, because he was someone who gave me time in his day and didn't leave me stranded in a new world. But, I wasn't ever going to cheat on you. Let alone cheat on you, in our condo that we share, in the bed we sleep in!" I spat.

"Who is she?" I asked. He hesitated before answering slowly, "She's a trainer for the team," he said shamefully as I just nodded with more tears falling. "Is anything going on with you and Michael now?" he asked, looking down.

I scoffed, "That's none of your business. I'm not yours to worry about anymore." He reached his hand over again, "Ashley, you are. I still love you. I know it's probably hard to hear all of this, but I want us to work," he said hesitantly. I rolled my eyes and turned back towards the window wiping my tears.

"I can't forgive you right now, Aiden. I look at you and it hurts me to my core. Do you know what I'd feel everyday looking at you knowing you gave yourself to another? Or how about when I go to one of your games and having to see her knowing she's had half of me?" I said, shaking my head.

"Ashley, I'm sorry," he started, "I am so sorry. Let me make it up to you. I won't ever talk to her again," he said desperately. "You hurt me Aiden. I can't even look at you the same anymore. But we needed this talk. It gave me the closure I needed," I said standing up, and walking away.

End of Flashback

I went home and cried for a few hours, listening to Mariah Carey's debut album, primarily 'Love Takes Time,' "I Don't Wanna Cry,' and 'Vanishing.'

Michael had called a few times, but I was too depressed to take any phone calls. I locked myself up in my condo and just cried. And I can honestly say, even though I was hurting, crying it out helped me heal. I was able to turn a new chapter.

It's been different being single again. Aiden and I always had liked each other so I always felt taken, so to not have that anymore felt weird. I hadn't gone on any dates, except for Michael's, but I don't think I was ready for that anyways. I wanted this time for myself. Discover myself again. Learn to exist and love myself without needing that love and validation from a man.

I was on a new journey with a new career and a new outlook on life. I felt ready to take on the world as I became even more devoted to my career, to open the door for other young girls like me.

Oh, and I had cut my hair. I feel like after every huge breakup, a girl either chops off her hair or she dyes it to change her look.

Later on...

As I arrived back to my suite at the Ritz Carlton in Paris, I was drained. It had been, yet another long day. I was glad to be getting at least 4 hours of sleep tonight. The next two days I had back to back shoots for Chanel and Dior. I was excited, but ready to be done. This past month and half has been some of the most stressful times in my life.

I walked into the suite and headed towards the kitchen to grab some water. I turned the lights on and I gasped. There was a bouquet of red roses from Venus Et Fleur, one of Paris' elegant flower brands. I walked over to it to read the note when I noticed a small white bag next to it. I figured it was from one of the designers or photographers.

I opened the card and it read, "Every time you look at these flowers, know that from far away, I'm still thinking of you. Missing you and sending my love. MJ"

I smiled at the sight. I couldn't believe Michael had sent these for me. It was a gesture so simple, yet so romantic. I picked up the roses and they smelled heavenly and one thing about these flowers is that they last for a year. I couldn't wait to put them in my new home that would be completed in a few months.

I sat down the card and opened the small gift bag. Inside was a small box, almost like a jewelry box. I opened it and there was a beautiful, diamond tennis bracelet. I covered my smile with my hand shocked. I couldn't believe Michael had sent me these beautiful gifts.

I put the bracelet on and it fit perfectly. It was beautiful. I looked back at the box and saw another note card. It read, "Keep stars with you in the form of diamonds."

He had such a way with words. Perks of befriending a songwriter. I went to call him, but I stopped and looked at the time. It was 1 AM my time, so 4 PM Michael's time, perfect.

"Hello?" Bill answered. "Hi Bill!" I exclaimed excitedly. "Smiles! How are you?"

"I'm good. Tired, been working nonstop," I said back. "Joker here has been too. Let me get him for you," he said to me. I waited a few seconds and I heard Michael's deep voice in the back ask, "who is it?" I chuckled at him as I waited. "Here you go, Smiles. Take care of yourself," Bill said before he handed the phone to Michael.

"Ashley, is that you!?!" he gasped dramatically. I giggled at him. "It's me!" I exclaimed, laughing at his enthusiasm. "I called to thank you for the beautiful flowers and bracelet. I love them," I said, admiring my diamond bracelet that twinkled in the light. He chuckled at me, "You're welcome. You deserve it. I know how hard you've been working this past month."

Michael and I talked for a little before I had to retire to bed for my long days ahead of me. "When will you be back in LA?" Michael asked. "In 3 days!" I said back excitedly, "I miss you," I whispered softly to him. I heard him smile through the phone. "I miss you too," he said giggling. I yawned tiredly. "Go to bed," he said, still giggling. "I'm going to do just that! Goodnight Michael," I said softly. "Goodnight Smiles."

I tidied up a bit around the living room and my bedroom, because Ashley was coming over today and I was so excited. She had gotten back to LA on the 21st, but I was too busy at the studio to see her and I figured she'd want a few days of rest before doing anything.

I was also nervous because this is the first time she was coming over to my hideout. She had dropped me off after Nobu, but she hadn't came in. We hadn't even hung out before at each other's places. I only went to her place when Aiden had the nerve to be yelling at her.

As I looked in the mirror and fixed a few curls that hung on my forehead, I heard a knock at my door. I took a deep breath and went to open it. She was looking down at her feet when I swung open the door. She looked up at me and smiled. She ran into me, hugging me. "Joker!! Hi!!! I've missed you so much!" she said, holding me tightly.

I laughed and hugged her back with the same excitement. "Hi Smiles," I muffled into her hair that always smelt like coconut and papaya. We stood there for a while, just hugging each other. I pulled back and smiled at her. "Come in," I said, gesturing my hand inside my condo. "Well, thank you," she said back sweetly walking in. I watched licking my lips as she walked in. She always walked with her famous catwalk and it never failed to turn me on.

"Want a tour?" I asked her with a smile. "I'd love one!" she said back excitedly. I showed her around the condo, showing her my arcade games, my comic book collection, and even my music collection.

Lastly, we got to my bedroom. I opened the door and nodded at her to go in. She side eyed me as she said, "Why do you want me to go in your bedroom?" I laughed at her. "You'll see it soon enough, so I figured why not," I said , shrugging, hiding my smile. She punched me in my shoulder as she walked in. "Ouch!" I shrieked, laughing.

As we walked out and to the kitchen, I asked her if she had eaten. "No, I haven't!" she replied back. "We can order take out?" I said back, looking at her with my eyebrows raised. She nodded and I grabbed a few take out menus for us to choose.

We ended up picking a Chinese restaurant. I went to grab the phone and as I sat down next to her to call and order, she grabbed my hand. "Wait," she said with a mischievous smile. I side eyed her. "Let's order in accents!" I laughed at her playfulness. I loved how she had a childlike spirit and never took things too seriously. "Okay, let's do southern accents," I said back just excited as she was.

Ashley called and she ordered her beef and broccoli in her southern accent making me crack up in the background. "Shut up!" she hissed laughing at me, unable to control my laughter. "Okay, thank you ma'am. Your kind hospitality reminds me of back home in Louisiana," she said in her accent. I was shocked. She was really good at it.

"Okay, yep. Here's my husband now. He's gonna give you his order. Take care now!" she said, handing the phone to me giggling. I froze when she referred to me as her husband but I composed myself quickly and grabbed the phone. "How ya doin' ma'am," I started. Ashley covered her mouth to hide her laughter. "Good. Good. I'd like to order the kung pao chicken with the side of yall's stemmed vegetables," I said back, chuckling a little.

When I ended the phone call, Ashley and I looked at each other and busted up in laughter. "Omg, you were too good!" she exclaimed, laughing. "Me!?! You were a natural!!" I said back laughing. "Well, my family is from the south," she said in her southern accent, making me laugh with her.

The night went on great. We ate dinner and of course she took some of my food as she always does and we watched 'Ghost' and 'The Jetsons.' Ashley bent down to put her shoes on and I grabbed her wrist. "Where are you going?" She looked up at me, "It's getting late. It's..." she looked at the clock, "2 AM." I looked away, biting the corner of my lip. I turned back to her, "Stay here tonight. It's late and I'd feel better knowing you stayed." She smiled at me. "Okay, but don't try anything funny Jackson," she said pointing at me and squinting. "Sir, yes, sir," I said, holding up my hand. She laughed and pushed me, "Pinky promise?" she asked, sticking out her pinky finger. I hooked mine with hers, "pinky promise."

She turned to look out my floor to ceiling windows that showed LA's skyscrapers and bright lights. I watched her intently as she seemed to be in deep thought. She sighed, "Is it just me or do moments like this whether it's watching a skyline, a sunrise, or even a sunset, make you reflect on life and make you grateful for everything in your life? Like all the opportunities you've had or seeing your dreams come true?" She smiled, "There's nothing like Earth's beauty I tell ya," she said turning back to me.

"No, it's not just you. I get that same moment of ineffability watching Earth's natural, astounding beauty. We take things like that for granted. More people need to experience these moments. You're right, because there is nothing like it," I said back looking out towards the skyline.

Ashley and I stayed up all night talking about life, traveling, and our future dreams and aspirations. We even watched the sun slowly start to rise. I sat in awe watching her talk about things she felt so passionate about. The way she spoke with such eloquence. The way she hesitated before answering to make sure she picked the correct words to express her feelings and thoughts about something. I was always attracted to her, but now I am attracted to her mind. She was intelligent. I hadn't met anyone like her and her mind.

She and I had moved down on the floor in front of the window. I looked away from the window to her and saw her yawn. "Let's get you to bed," I said, standing up and offering her my hand. She gladly took it and I pulled her up. She yawned again and I laughed at her. "Can I get something to wear?" she asked, yawning again covering her mouth. "Jeans aren't comfortable to sleep in."

"Yeah, follow me." We walked into my bedroom and I noticed in the dark I was still holding her hand. I shuffled through my drawers and found a red button up and gave it to her. She went into my bathroom and changed. I quickly changed in my closet. I sat on the bed waiting for her, reflecting on how great this night had been.