Cold nights, cold sheets

One more lonely empty hotel room

What I'd give to

Find my way back into you

******

1 YEAR LATER

"Mommy, do you see me?"

"I do, baby. I always see you."

"I'm the brightest star, aren't I?"

Her cheerful voice surrounded me, but I couldn't see her. It didn't matter though, I at least had her this way. 

"I miss you, Angie."

"I know, mommy. But I'm there, can't you see?"

"I can feel you," I whispered. 

"Then that's enough, mom. Today is a new day, today is your day. You have to say hi to daddy Alex for me."

"I love you, Angie," I murmured, already knowing that the alarm was about to go off.

"I love you, mommy. See you tonight."

******

My eyes opened, slowly, taking in the light that filled the empty apartment. It wasn't hard for light to reach every corner, it was small after all. 

I no longer had nightmares. I looked forward to sleeping now, actually. Angela would visit me in my dreams almost every night, and though most of the time I couldn't see her, I could talk to her. Hearing her voice was more than enough. 

It had been a hard year, but also a fulfilling one. I maintained almost zero contact with anyone, except for the people that I had met here, but mostly kept to myself. I wasn't hiding anymore, nor did I fear anyone yet didn't crave that closeness. I just didn't need it. 

I liked to think that I had grown, that I had found peace. Some days were harder than others, like now that it had been a year since her death. It was difficult having to remind myself that I didn't have to worry about getting her ready for school, or remembering things that perhaps weren't my favorite such as watching Frozen. I couldn't see the movie without crying now.

But I could act feel now. I could feel everything; the happiness, the pain and I no longer ran from it, I no longer feared it. I embraced it.

My phone rang and I smiled. My dad. He was the only that I had kept in touch with, knowing very well that I wouldn't feel the need to run back if I spoke to him. I hadn't heard from Alex in two months or from Lucas, except for the occasional text. I found it necessary to distance myself from them because I felt like running back and I knew it wasn't the time yet.

"Hey daddy," I said, not being able to help the excitement to show in my voice.

"My princess, how are you? Are you ready? Do you need any help? Nicole said-"

"I'm fine daddy," I reassured him. "I should be at the airport around 4 p.m., will you pick me up?"

"Yes, Eileen. Nicole and I will be there."

"How is that leg of yours, daddy?" 

He chuckled, and I knew exactly what he was going to say.

"Well, it's still attached so, I guess it's better than not having a leg." He paused, letting the silence linger between us. It was no longer uncomfortable, it was nice. I had my dad back. "I can't wait to see you, Eileen."

"Me neither, daddy. I'll call you before I take off, see you in a couple hours." 

"Okay, darling. I love you." 

"Love you too."

I showered, went down the street to get something to eat at the local cafe. Their pastries were good, but never would compare to Marty's pastries. They had nothing on him. 

"Will you be back tomorrow?" Asked Brandon, the young employee. 

He'd always attempted to make conversation with me, but, I'm not much of a conversationalist. 

"No, actually. I leave today, in a few hours."

"Oh," he said, with a disappointed look on his face, "Well, I really do wish you well, even if you never accepted going out to eat with me."

I reached over and squeezed his hand.

"It's been nice knowing you, Brandon. Best wishes."

He gave me a small nod, and I walked back to the apartment. I was ready to go back home.

As expected, the airport was pure chaos. I didn't have much trouble getting by for I barely even had a backpack with me. It seemed as if in the middle of the chaos, I was the only one that remained calm. After a few moments of wandering around, I finally spotted my dad, his hair only slightly grayer, his eyes sparkling with joy when he saw me. He was leaning on the cane that we now had to use but dropped it to the floor as soon as he saw me. He was trying to limp towards me.

I ran into his arms, nearly tipping him over.

"My princess," he murmured. "God, I've fucking missed you. You're twenty-two now, huh?"

My birthday had been the most difficult, it was a exactly a year after I buried my daughter. Nonetheless, I was thankful to have reached another year. It was painful, but I had learned how to manage it.

"Aren't you going to greet me?" I saw Nicole, who's eyes were damp with tears. It had been over seven years since I'd seen her, and she hadn't changed a bit. Her natural blonde hair fell over her shoulders in waves, and the sweet smile that she usually hid while in uniform was present.

I hugged her, and she embraced me.

"Thanks for shooting my dad when this things with Gerald happened," I whispered to which she laughed.

"Still witty, I see," she said, cupping my face. "What a beautiful young woman you've turned out to be."

I stopped her, taking her hand in mine when a big shiny rock caught my eye. I smiled, looking back at my dad, who frowned. I had discovered the big secret that he was hiding from me.

"You're engaged?!" 

Nicole nodded and my dad only smiled, his eyes fixated on his soon to be wife. I hugged Nicole once again, congratulating her and then my dad.

"Congrats, daddy. You're finally ending the years of celibacy."

"Eileen!"

We ate together, catching up as they recited the whole proposal. It turned out that they hadn't even been dating, just 'spending' time together. My dad looked happier than he'd ever been and it was beautiful. I'd long forgiven him for what had happened, and I was glad that he was beginning to forgive himself.

It was getting dark, and I had yet to reach the place that I so desperately wanted to visit. I told my dad, and though he hesitated for a moment, he agreed to drive me to Moretti's. 

Everything looked so familiar but entirely different from the last time I was here. It wasn't that the roads had changed or the architecture of the buildings, I was just looking at everything through different eyes. I appreciated the beauty of things more now, I appreciated the random acts of kindness that people would have with me.

"Are you sure you want to do this today, Eileen?" My dad asked, as we pulled up to the large driveway.

"Yeah, dad. I'm sure. Go home, I'll call a cab to drive me."

"Oh no," said Nicole, "We'll be back, Eileen. Just give us a call when you're ready."

I nodded and stepped out of the car.

Here goes nothing.

I stood frozen in front of the house, unable to knock, unable to move. It felt... different. I was scared, what if they weren't happy to see me? 

You can do this.

Taking a deep breath, I knocked with a shaking hand. It seemed like an eternity passed, until I heard the door creaking open. 

Blue eyes met mine, a wide grin etched on his face.

Without giving me time to react, Lucas pulled me into his arms, lifting me off the pavement. I laughed, hearing his own hearty chuckle.

"Oh, you're fucking mean," he said quietly, "You never said you were leaving for a year."

I smiled feeling how his embrace warmed me. I had a big brother after all.

"It's good to see you too, Luke." 

"It better be," he said.

There was voices inside the house, and he hesitated for a moment.

"I'm sorry, do you have visitors? I can leave if you want."

"Oh, no. Fuck no. You've been gone for a year, there's no way you're leaving now. It's just, uh-"

"If Alex isn't here then it's fine," I said, placing a hand on his arm.

As I spoke the words I heard him though. My heart rate sped up, the butterflies that everyone talks about it movies appeared. Except they were accompanied with nausea, with nerves. Luke scratched the back of his head, and I felt his presence even before I saw him.

"Who i-"

Alexander Moretti laid eyes on me, and he stopped mid-question. I could see the varying emotions behind them, everything from sadness, to frustration, to happiness. 

"Hey..." I said, hoping that I didn't sound as breathless as I felt. 

He was wearing slacks and his white button down shirt, as always. The stubble on his face making him impossibly handsome. We stared at each other, our gazes not wavering for a second.

"Yeah, uh, this is fucking awkward," Luke said. "I'm going back inside."

He said something I couldn't make out to Alex and then walked away. Alex stood frozen by the door, but I could see his eyes traveling down my body- the look in them enough to spark something in me.

"I'm sorry to come announced, I just, uh... just got back today."

He shifted on his feet, and then ran his hands through his hair before closing the door behind him. He looked handsome. Always did, without even trying. After a moment, he cleared his throat.

"You're back," he said. He wasn't asking, he was just stating it.

"I'm back."

I bit my lip and shifted on my feet. He wasn't saying anything and it was terrifying. He focused on my lips, his eyes turning darker and was met with a sharp intake of breath on my part. The electricity was there, and it was about to explode.

"You're back..." he said again, this time taking a step forward.

Before I knew it, he pulled me into his arms which wrapped around my body. I sighed, relieved to feel him, relieved to feel his warmth surrounding me. He buried his face in my neck and I closed my eyes, enjoying the feel of him.

I wanted to kiss him.

"Fuck..." he whispered, cupping my face in his large hands. "You look... You're beautiful."

"You don't look too bad yourself," I retorted. He smirked.

God, that smirk.

"I've missed you, Moretti," I whispered. 

He leaned down, pressing a kiss on my forehead, on my nose, and then his lips gently grazed mine. I held on to his arms, because I knew the minute he kissed me, I'd fall. He gave me strength, but was also my weakness.

Just then, the door flung open and he closed his eyes, letting out a sigh. 

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Babe, who is it?" Called a voice from behind. 

My eyes widened, and I took a step back from Alex, who had a pained look on his face. A blond woman walked up next to him, intertwining her fingers with his. I focused on their hands, while Alex focused on my face.

"Where are your manners, Alex?" The woman said in a playful tone. She stepped forward, extending her hand towards mine. "Hi dear, I'm Julia Temple."

"Julia?" I asked.

"Yes, former fiance, current girlfriend," she said with a smile.

There was nothing evil about it. Her smile was sincere.

"F-fiance?"

She nodded, rolling her eyes.

"A long time ago. And who are you?"

Alex opened his mouth, but I stopped him.

"I'm Eileen," I said. "I'm just a friend."

Ahh, twists and turns. Gotta love 'em, right?

Will they be able to work things out? Is there still something to save between them?

Leave your comments and votes.

Thank you all for reading, this will all be coming to its end fairly soon, then I'll be able to focus completely on Lucas.

-Luz<3

"I didn't know you had been engaged," Eileen said quietly when Julia stepped outside.

"It was never anything serious," I replied. She didn't seem angry at all.

She did look fucking beautiful. I would have kissed her if Julia hadn't interrupted, and I wouldn't have regretted it.

"Are you happy?" 

I looked at her. She was tranquil, the pain and sadness were no longer there. She came back stronger than before and everything about the way that she now carried herself showed it. 

"She's... she's a good woman."

She nodded in understanding, but didn't say anything. She was considering the situation, looking around the house as if searching for an answer. There wasn't. I had made the conscious decision to sleep with Julia two months ago, and things didn't seem to stop. After a moment, Eileen extended her hand and smiled.

"Friends?" She asked the question while placing her hand over my own and she gasped softly, reminding me of all the times she did that when I first entered her. She felt the fire too.

"Friends," I agreed.