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Numb.

That's what I felt right now.

I was in my room, under the warmth of my blankets. But then, why was it that I felt so cold?

I had been sent home after the fiasco in school. I don't know what happened after I came home.

Whether the posters were removed or were they still gracing the walls of Gradient High?

I refused to talk to anyone. Not even my parents who had come home right when they heard about me.

And I knew who told them.

Yes, I was mad at Aaron. But if you think that just because of my outburst in the washroom was responsible for this, you are wrong.

In fact I felt so guilty after I'd come home that I actually thought of calling him. And I did.

I called him and he picked up after the second ring.

This is how our conversation went.

"A-Ali? Oh my God. I'm so so sorry. I didn't know how this all happened. I-,"he was cut off by another sound.

I waited for him to return to the call, as the person whined in the background. I was pretty sure that it was Shelly.

"Ali? You there?" He said after a few seconds.

"Y-Yeah. I-uh wanted to-"

"Hold on. There's a lot of noise," he said putting the phone on hold.

The robotic voice of a lady informed me that Aaron had indeed put the phone on hold.

As the robotic female kept repeating the same thing , the feeling of guilt changed into that of annoyance.

Why does she have to repeatedly tell me that the call was on hold. I wasn't deaf the first time.

After five minutes, I was about to end the call when I heard Aaron's voice.

"Hello?," I called into the phone.

I was expecting him to answer back but what I wasn't expecting was shouting in the background.

"What is wrong with you?" A voice shouted, which I recognised as Aaron's.

"But baby, please, let's just forget about it and enjoy ourselves at Ryan's party. Remember the last two Fridays? That was so much fun and this one will be even better," I heard a whiny voice coo.

But I couldn't even muster up my usual expression of disgust because what she said had made me freeze on the spot.

The phone in my hand, long forgotten as I slid down the bedside and landed my butt on the floor.

Aaron had ditched me for parties.

I heard a voice coming through the speakers of my phone, maybe trying to call out to me, but I ignored.

Aaron had ditched me for parties.

That's what kept going on in my head. Here I was thinking that he had been really tied up in some important work which is why he kept missing our movie nights.

He didn't even tell me that he couldn't come but kept me waiting all night long for at least three Friday's with no explanation for his absence, whatsoever.

I was never the one to stop Aaron from going on parties and have fun but Friday's were something that we had kept for us.

Only for both of us.

Not even for my mom and dad.

That is what hurt the most. He didn't even tell me that he was ditching me for parties.

That is how I ended up wrapped up in my blankets, with a tear stained face and red puffy eyes and memories that hurt way too much.

Aaron had been calling every five minutes. But I didn't have it in me to pick up the phone.

I kept my phone on my bed side table and turned to face the other side when suddenly, the door burst open, revealing a distraught looking Candy.

"Why didn't you pick up my phone?" He asked, resting his hands on his knees.

I wasn't facing him properly but when I did, his eyes widened, seeing my red eyes.

"Where were you for the past few Fridays?" I asked, choking on my words a little.

Realisation dawned upon him and I knew that he knew I'd heard him.

Immediately, his facial expression showed guilt, desperation and regret.

"I-," he started but I cut him off sharply.

"Don't. Just go. Please. Leave me alone," my voice devoid of any emotion as I said the words that were contradicting my thoughts. Even though I was hurt, I didn't want to lose him, but my pride and ego were busy controlling the words tumbling out of my mouth.

"Muffin, please list-"

"GO AWAY," I cried out. I felt the earlier wiped tear tracks remaking their path on my face.

A hurt and wounded look on his face was enough for me to be willing to call him back but nothing came out of my mouth.

He hesitated but eventually retracted his steps. Reluctance oozed in abundance as he shut the door.

He had looked as if he would feel less hurt if I trampled him with a truck.

To erase the urge to call him back, I turned away for the door and later down on my back.

I was staring at the ceiling lost in thoughts so much so that I didn't even notice the door of my room click open.

When my peripheral vision caught movement, I quickly sat up. My room was devoid of any light. I had my curtains drawn up and my lamps switched off.

That is why I didn't recognise the figure that stood in front of me. I squinted my eyes to see who it was and surprise came over my features when I recognised him.

"Nate? What're you doing here?" My voice came out raspy and a bit hesitant.

"Hey. Uh, your Mom let me in and I, uh, thought you'd need someone, so, uh, yeah," he said rubbing the back of his neck.

A small smile graced my lips. It was weak but that was I could manage right now.

I patted the bed beside me. "Why don't you come sit?"

He quietly obliged. When I felt the bed dip beside me, I resumed my previous position.

We kept silent for a few minutes. I felt a bit glad that Nate had come. Even though j had known him for just a night, I had a good feeling about him.

After a few minutes, Nate broke the silence.

"I know it's a stupid question to ask, but are you okay?"

I gave a dry chuckle. "Honestly? No. I feel like shit."

"If you don't mind, may I ask why?"

I turned to face him with furrowed eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

"Well, why do you feel like shit?"

"For one, I'm a laughing stock for the whole school. Two, my very own best friend had been ditching our special movie time for weekend school parties. Three, when I thought I could actually compete in the competition of my dreams, history repeated itself."

Nate was silent for a few seconds before he spoke.

"Do you want to hear something? You probably won't even like it," he asked, facing me.

I shrugged. "What have I got to lose?"

It was true. I had nothing to lose. And who knew? Maybe Nate's words could actually help.

"First of all, you are not going to interrupt me while I speak."

"I-," I tried.

"No protests until I'm finished."

I huffed and pouted.

He rolled his eyes and began. "Do you realise why people laugh at you?

It's because you let them. Have you ever tried to challenge them? People will never stop bullying you until you make them stop. What's the point of hiding when you can actually do something about it?"

I tried to speak but no words left my mouth. I never thought of it this way. All the time I spent hiding from attention, I could've learnt to face it.

"You need to remember that every star shines in darkness. And sometimes you will have to create your own sunshine. And maybe in the end you'll just regret the chances you never took," Nate spoke.

The truth of his words hit my mind like a slap on the face. But I was still scared.

I would be lying if I'd say that I didn't want to participate in the competition. But like Nate said. Who was stopping me?

It wasn't the population at school. It was me.

But how do I stop myself from de motivating myself?

My head started to hurt as I thought of all this. So I decided to change the topic.

"And what about the party part? Do you have anything to say about that too?"

Nate already knew who Aaron was because of Sam and I's constant gossiping about him and my old incidents with him.

"Hmm. What Aaron did was wrong, but maybe he had a reason? Plus, don't you think that sometimes he wanted to go to parties for himself. Not to be away from you, but to let himself loose?" He reasoned.

It was sad to say that he had a good point. But even I was stubborn.

"He could have told me that he wanted to go for his parties and stuff like that. What about that?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"True. That was wrong on his part but maybe he didn't want to hurt you by saying it?"

"Too late, he already did." I said and fell back on the bed.

"Think whatever you want but that is not what I came here for," Nate said, sitting up straighter.

"What do you mean?" I asked, looking at Nate quizzically.

"I wanted to tell you that because of what happened today, the singing competition has been postponed for another two days. So it is two days after instead of tomorrow. So maybe you can still participate," he said, with a slightly hopeful tone.

I averted my eyes.

I didn't know anything right now.

Nothing at all.

My life was messier than Aaron's under bed. And I had no idea how to clean it up.

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