CHAPTER ELEVEN

or almost a week now, jeonghan stayed in his bed, sulking. ignoring seungcheol and everyone else as well.

soonyoung tried coming in every now and then, but jeonghan would just pull the blanket over his head and ignore him. he knew it was not his fault, but he kept it from him.

if only he knew before he dramatically kissed seungcheol. before he realized how much he did want him, maybe he could have prevented feelings this way...again.

"come on jeonghan...at least eat something..." soonyoung's voice was soft and concerned. still, it changed nothing for jeonghan.

he waited until he heard the door close, then pulled the blanket back over his head. he wiped away the few tears that had fallen again. his room was dark, the only light was the moon shining through his blinds.

he was not even that mad at anyone as much as he was upset with himself, he just kept wondering how stupid he was. how could he put himself through this again?

it was beginning to seem as if every time things were started to brighten up, a dark cloud would start making its way and then down came the harsh rain.

jeonghan stared at his ceiling, seungcheol was constantly calling and texting. he even came over a few times, but soonyoung just told him to give him some space.

seungcheol did not even know why jeonghan was upset. and that is what is bothering him the most. jeonghan just could not bring himself to say it, or even think about it.

"fuck," he lightly hit the floor under him. he backed up so his back was leaned against the edge of his bed. he pulled his ones to his chest and buried his face into them.

there was nothing more in the world that he hated then crying, and he hated seungcheol even more.

as he sat in the navy blue colored room, the vibrations from his phone kept coming. 'are you okay?' 'did I do something?' 'please answer me jeonghan it's killing me' 'I miss you'.

he read them, but he did not once reply. he felt like he was magnet for horrible luck and bad news, he really did begin to fall for seungcheol, and even now he still cares.

he just felt like an idiot, he knew he should have been more skeptical of the situation. but it was nice, nice to have someone like seungcheol cling to him.

three soft knocks were on his door, "jeonghan, im going out with jihoon. I'll bring you back take out." he waited for a bit, no answer.

jeonghan waited till he heard the front door open then shut again, he kept wiping away the tears. he was a complete and utter mess, he barely showered this morning, all week he only wore baggy sweats and gigantic t-shirts.

he grabbed his phone, reading the messages from seungcheol. he was apologizing, even though he doesn't know what he did. still, jeonghan was so upset.

forgot my house key, driving back be there in 20

jeonghan went back and laid on his bed, all he wanted was to just erase his memory, have amnesia or something. he just wanted to forget it all and start over, start fresh.

no jisoo, no seokmin, no seungcheol.

his thoughts were interrupted by distant knocks, assuming it was soonyoung he got up and walked out his room. he walked into soonyoung's room and tried to find his key, but could not. so he just walked and began to unlock the door.

"soonyoung who forgets the key to their do—"

standing in front of him was seungcheol, his hair was not combed in fact it was fluffy and had small curls to it. he was wearing baggy jeans and a sweatshirt.

jeonghan knew he should slam the door in his face and lock it because seeing this boy in front of him was starting to overwhelm him.

without even thinking, seungcheol rushed into the dorm room and shirt the door, as soon as he turned around he wrapped his arms around jeonghan and smashed his lips into his.

"n-no," jeonghan pushed him away, although his body felt colder now.

"what's going on, you literally haven't answered my calls or texts since the night you kissed me, did I do something wrong because you have me freaking the fuck out over here missing you ever—"

"I know seungcheol..." he interrupted the frantic boy standing in front of him. "about your girlfriend."

seungcheol's big chocolate brown eyes widened and his mouth formed a small 'o' shape.

"I don't think we should be...whatever it is we were," he proposed turning his back heading towards his room. "you can let yourself out."

instead of leaving seungcheol ran inside his room right behind him, "wait, let me explain please."

"no seungcheol, just...just leave please. I don't want to hear it, not again. I already know what you're gonna say because I've heard the bullshit before."

seungcheol knew this would happen, from the very beginning he should have just been honest.

"it's not like it mattered, we were just friends anyway. and friends shouldn't get upset over this," seungcheol flinched at his choice of words.

"are you fucking stupid, jeonghan," without realizing it they were standing in the middle of the enclosed room together now. "I lied, it was wrong, but my feelings are sincere for you—"

"I don't care, you knew how I felt before, and I'm so stupid for even considering my feelings for you. cause you're just like him," jeonghan was now standing right in front of seungcheol. his eyes were watery and so were seungcheol's.

"you don't even know the full story, do you think I loved her the way I love you? she isn't even my girlfriend anymore, and you know what? you can't talk shit because you're just as difficult!

you drive me so fucking crazy, do you know how many nights I stayed up thinking about YOU? always wondering, what if I'm wasting my feelings? what if I end up hurt because you don't wanna just trust that I'm so in love with you that it frustrates me?"

"seungcheol you should have just fucking told me and we could have avoided this—"

"just told you? jeonghan you didn't even trust me enough to give me a chance, and when we do make progress shit like this happens." seungcheol felt the warms salty tears dripping off his chin.

"then maybe we shouldn't even be friends."

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listen I said I would update as much as I could and hhhh this is long sorry