[30]

"Listen, Cooper, I didn't react... like that... because you're into guys... or not- or whatever... " I try to explain as I fiddle with the hem of my shirt, my left leg swaying from side to side.

We're sat in front of the lockers, our backs leaned against them, with our knees bent. The door to the janitor's closet is just across the hallway, with Riku lingering behind it.

"Then," I turn my head to Cooper, "why did you react like that?" Sighing to myself, I put on a gentle expression, pushing down the dread that is already starting to build up in my stomach.

"I-... I don't-" Why is this so hard? "I already like someone else." I say it slowly, hesitantly almost, afraid of his reaction. And, true to my thoughts, his expression drops, a look of disappointment mixed with sadness crossing his face.

"Hamming?" My eyebrows furrow.

"What?"

"Is it Hamming?" My mouth forms an 'o' as realization dawns on me.

"Uh... y-yeah, it is," I eventually reply, my eyes darting over to the door, imagining that stupid smirk cross Riku's lips.

"Damn... you really rejected me for Hamming." I look back to Cooper just as he runs his hand through his hair, messing them up and leaving them in a tousled up state. His eyes are still cast downward, the same expression still decorating his features, but something is different.

I tilt my head to get a better look at him. However, as my eyes roam his face, searching for that difference that I'm missing, he suddenly grabs ahold of my chin and slams his lips into mine. My eyes grow wide.

His taste invades my mouth as his lips move on mine, roughly, and quickly, giving me no time to breathe or to react whatsoever. He tastes bitter, and sour, like that feeling of acid burning my skin that I get when he touches me turnt into a taste.

And when my mind finally takes control of my body again, it's already too late.

Cooper is ripped off of me and slammed into the lockers, the vibrations of it going straight to my back. My eyes jump upwards, only to be met with Riku's icy glare, directed at Cooper's fearful gaze. Instantly, I jump to my feet, momentarily forgetting about the bruises, and hiss in pain when they come into contact with the lockers behind me when I lose balance.

"I-I'm sor-sorry." Balling my fists to subside the pain, I focus my attention on the both of them, Cooper's shaky voice ringing in my ears, filled with utmost fear. "I-I didn't mean to- ... "

"What?" comes Riku's voice, deep, raspy, laced with anger and possessiveness. "You didn't mean to kiss him?" Cooper nods his head hastily. "Well, but you did, bastard."

And then, for a moment, it feels like everything slows down. Cooper's heavy breathing turns into a faint, muffled background noise, as a ringing fills my ears and replaces the silence from the deserted hallway. Riku's hand slowly shoots into the air, slow-motion like, and the ringing grows louder. Only when his fist connects with the younger's face does the time return to normal and my body snap out of its paralyzed state.

A groan escapes Cooper, causing me to latch onto Riku's hand that is already lingering in the air again. "Don't, please," I whimper, the sight of blood in the corner of my eye making me dizzy already. It's my fault. I should've stopped him from kissing me. Why didn't I stop him earlier?

So stupid.

When Riku's glare lands on me, it softens the slightest bit. However, one wince coming from the guy who forced his lips on mine, and it's back to its stoic state. I turn my head to Cooper to see blood running out of his nose, making me gasp quietly.

"C-Cooper, we talked now, didn't we? I-I explained my reaction to you. So, we-we should go." Grabbing Riku's hand, I give neither of them time to react before I race down the hallway, dragging the still angry guy behind me.

And as soon as we have exited the building, I'm slammed into its brick walls, my bruises rubbing against them painfully. I shut my eyes, feeling overwhelmed by what just happened, and take myself a moment to get my breathing under control; very well aware of Riku's anger that is engulfing me from every side by the way he's holding onto my waist so tightly that I can feel a numbing sensation burning in my hips, probably indicating that it'll leave a bruise.

After minutes of silence, Riku's heavy breathing eventually starts to calm down, and so does mine, but, still, his iron grip remains the same.

"I-I'm sorry," I whisper, eyes shut. I feel guilty that I didn't stop Cooper from kissing me. But why did he even kiss me in the first place? I had just told him I like someone else-

"Kiss me." My eyes jolt open, my eyebrows furrowing. Riku is gazing at me intensely, studying and analyzing my expression, his jaw tight and a vein popping out on his neck.

"What?"

"Kiss me," he repeats through clenched teeth.

I look down to his lips, confused. Why would he want me to kiss him, now? I thought he's mad at me?

But still, hesitantly, I lean forwards, getting on my tiptoes, as my face inches closer to him, and place my lips on his. Almost instantly, his steel grip loosens up and he pulls me into his body, gently this time. He takes his time kissing me, holding me in his arms as if I would disappear any second, and it has my heart beating at an irregular pace, but in a good way.

On top of that, butterflies start tumbling through my stomach when he uses his knowledge of my weak spot to his advantage once again and sneaks his hands under my shirt to lightly brush his fingers over my hips, driving me crazy. I can't help the soft moan that escapes me when he does it again whereupon he breaks our kiss and looks into my eyes, repeating his actions, again and again. Another moan slips past my lips.

"Why didn't you stop him? Do you like him?" Riku whispers into my ear, his voice tight and guarded, quickening the speed of his fingers as they draw circle over circle on my hip, causing my knees to become wobbly.

I send him an irritated look. "No. I don't," I reply firmly. It doesn't seem to convince him, though, as he doesn't even budge.

Slowly, my legs start to give in, which he seems to notice as he wraps one of his arms around my waist to steady me, but keeps driving me crazy with the other one.

"But you liked the kiss, right?" He leans down to me and puts his head into the crook of my neck, his hair tickling me ruthlessly as he starts nibbling on my skin.

"No, I-" Another moan.

"I-I ... " I like you, not him.

"What?" he rasps out, the huskiness of his voice causing my heart to skip a beat.

"Ilikeyounothim," I rush out quickly, heat already rising to my cheeks.

Finally, the torture stops as Riku raises his head to look me in the eye, his other hand sneaking around my waist as well. I release a breath of air I didn't realize I was holding, and gaze up into his eyes tiredly.

"What?" he mirrors his words from earlier, this time with curiosity.

I bite my lip. "I said, I-I like... you"

His eyes widen as the words register in his mind. "Me?" A frown etches itself onto his face.

I sink my teeth into my lower lip and slowly nod my head, for the second time today afraid of someone's reaction.

This time, though, the drop of his expression sends a pang of pain to my heart and the step of distance that he brings between us causes a lump to form in my throat. His face morphs back into its stoic state and his eyes turn darker. It's like he's going back to that expression he had before we met - that dark, hooded expression that had scared me so much back then.

And now, there it is again. And, like before, it scares me. But for entirely different reasons this time.

I take a step forward, reaching out to grab ahold of his sleeve but before I can even attempt to, he rips his arm away and takes another step backwards. The lump grows. "Please, I- I'm sorry." The worst thing is, I don't even know what I'm apologizing for. Is this still because of Cooper? Or is it because I told him what I just told him?

I don't know what it is but I've never wanted to undo something in my life so badly.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, his eyes fixed on the tears that have started rolling down my cheeks before he turns on his heels and runs. I've never seen him run before. Watching his legs carry him away from me with this unfamiliar pace just causes my heart to become heavier and heavier.

My legs start feeling wobbly and I lean myself against the wall behind me for support, eventually gliding it down until I'm in a sitting position. Drawing my legs up to my chest, I wrap my arms around my knees just as a heartwrenching sob ripples through me.

It hurts.

hey there.

so, i haven't updated in like decades. but here i am now.

to be honest, i've lost complete motivation for this book, and i tired to get it back for a few months but at some point i just gave up after my depression began worsening even further and my energy level sank. so yeah.

anyway, i've had these chapters in my drafts for a while now but i didn't want to publish them coz i'd originally wanted to finish the rest of the book first before i upload anything, but now i can't see myself doing that anytime soon, so i just wanted to share this with all the people that have read this book till the last available chapter.

i'm not entirely happy with these, mostly because i wrote them months ago and my opinions on stuff change literally every week and i become more mature (i feel like i do, anyway) every week, so this feels all a bit rushed and weird now. but whatever. if i touched it now, i wouldn't be able to upload it at all.

anyway, do tell me what you think if you'd like. constructive criticism is always very welcome.

now, have a nice day/night and stay safe!

love y'all <3