《Possession》Chapter Nineteen

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Lunar's POV

Clarissa looked down at her shoes, fidgeting with her candy bag, "...Y-You make me sound like a desperate loser."

I let out a bit of a laugh, walking backward, "Clarissa, if I thought you were a desperate loser, I wouldn't have a title for myself now, would I?"

She jogged to catch up with me, speaking up after we got candy from another house, "Why do you do that?"

I looked at her, furrowing my eyebrows as she tilted her head towards me, eyeing me with a frown, "Do what?"

"You're always so hard on yourself. Even when you got an A on your Calculus test, you belittled yourself and got so mad just because it wasn't an A+. Why do you do it?"

"Because somebody once taught me that even if it makes you look like a sourpuss or a Depressed loser, you should always be honest. Even on how you feel about yourself. People are more likely to like you and trust you if you're honest. We live in a place where we are identified as Rats...," After we passed another house, I stared at her, stopping in my tracks. I remembered the lady from the Company when I first applied, "We are called Poor Clothes because we can't afford Rich Clothes. We are called Cockroaches because we can barely afford proper lighting and the lights die just after a week or two. We are called Rats because, on a good day, we have enough scraps to eat and when we get the chance to get money by ratting people out for death...we are known to take that chance. Three of the worst possible names to be called..."

"I got called those three names in under five minutes just because of living where I do and being how I am, but you know what I have never failed at? Being who I am. I wear Poor Clothes with pride because I was born in our town by two of the most loving parents I could ever ask for. I am a Cockroach because I'd rather hide in the dark parts of our town than transfer to the UpperClass. I am a Rat because even though there are scraps for me to eat, I'd rather starve than steal somebody's opportunity to eat," I let out a sad smile to her, knowing damn well Mr. Lincoln and Mr. Hayes were listening the entire time from their beautiful Black Cadillac. My smile grew into a warm one as I kept looking at her, "Clarissa, I wasn't mad about not getting an A+. I was mad because I got an A when I wanted at most a D or a C. I was mad because while our group of friends failed a test for something as easy as Algebra or Language Arts or even World History, I passed one of the hardest classes like it was a short story essay."

I started to laugh; it was a pained chuckle. I had never told this to anybody, never told anybody how much this shit affected me, "Clare, I never cared about passing. I cared about failing. Even when I tried to fail, and believe me, I tried, I still passed. Clarissa, I cared about that stupid A because I was the only one in our group to get higher than a C. I was mad because Even in the community of Poor Clothes, CockRoaches, and Rats... I am different. I tried to fail, and I still got an A. I tried to fail, and I still got offers from so many good colleges. All of high school I was so desperate just to get a C and I never got lower than a B+."

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She looked at me, confused, "You said you never got any college applications...?"

I cackled more, almost kneeling and holding my stomach, "I never said I didn't get any, Clare. I said I didn't have any interest in them because I don't. I have no interest in going to college."

"Why not?"

My laughter stopped as I looked at her, "Because if I can't see my friends succeed and achieve their dreams, I don't want to succeed in my own. Why should I get my dreams and they shouldn't? I would rather see my friends succeed than achieve my dreams. Yes, I got scholarships. Yes, colleges wanted me. Yes, I wanted to go to college at one point, but that one point was before we all got to senior year of high school. Before each and every one of my friends got letters from their colleges and were denied."

She was quiet as she looked at me, allowing our bodies to go back to walking, her final question actually making me come to a halt and swallow, "Did you ever get letters...?"

This time I looked down, getting quiet as I glanced at her, "Y-Yes."

"And...?" She raised an eyebrow with a tilt of her head, sadness in her eyes. This was the first time she'd heard me speak this way, I was always the pun guy, the clown, the therapist. I didn't like talking about my school life... or really anything about my personal life, "What happened?

"I-I was accepted," I let out a broken smile once again. I placed my hands into my pockets, nodding my head over to our last house, motioning her to it as I kept speaking, "I-I was accepted into the college, still have the letter. Th-They are just waiting for me to get my ass over there."

"When did you get it?"

I chuckled a little bit, "Honestly?"

"Have you ever lied?"

I smiled genuinely at her, chuckling, "The end of Junior year. The year I was supposed to graduate."

Clarissa perked up, bug-eyed, "THAT'S RIGHT! You were supposed to graduate! Why'd you have an extra year?"

I laughed a little more, walking backward, "If I tell you, you won't believe me."

She narrowed her eyes, "Lunar Floid, what the hell did you do?"

"Have you ever wondered why on the last day of school that year everyone's grades were suddenly all certain letters, and nobody could figure out why? And then all the copy machines rapidly started printing those letters? And nobody could stop it and school was canceled the rest of the day because it just wouldn't stop. And I was mysteriously 'sick' that day?" I smirked at her, doing a cocky little grin. She nodded, furrowing her eyebrows at me as my grin grew, "And Mathis couldn't stop laughing the whole time while being on her phone and whispering things into it and video recording everything?"

She nodded again, "Y-Yeah...?"

I chuckled, tapping my index fingers together and then rubbing the back of my head, "Well, that was me. If you went in alphabetical order of all the students and spelt the letters each one got, it was a repeat of 'Principal Russel likes big titty goth girlfriends and wearing Princess Peach dresses.'"

"What the fuck?" she started giggling with a shake of her head, probably scarred by that imagery.

I laughed, "Did you also ever notice I never used a computer or a laptop anymore? They couldn't get everything to stop until I walked in with my laptop. I told them if they really wanted it to stop, they had to keep me another year. That they could take the laptops and computers from me, I didn't care, I just wanted to graduate with the rest of the class and be with my friends for graduation. That's all I told them. When they tried to say I couldn't stay, I made shit worse, even fucked with the lights. They finally caved and I made it all stop. I stayed and cleaned everything up, of course."

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"All just because you wanted to be with us?"

I smiled more, walking backward again and shrugging, "I just really wanted to be with my friends. Even the one who continuously flirts with me."

She blushed and scoffed at her shoe, "I don't flirt that much."

I tsked, "Clarissa, you call me cute every time you see me. You try and hold my hand when we get close. Last time you tried to kiss me. I may be hella fucking Gay but that doesn't mean I can't tell when a girl is flirting with me."

"Then why didn't you ever tell me to stop?"

I let out a small sigh, coming over to her, "Because even though it can be a little bit annoying, I do find it cute and sweet. I have rejected you a thousand times, but you've never let it stop your efforts. Even though you've been embarrassed in front of people from me rejecting you, you still try. You're not only one of the most determined people I know, but you're also one of the bravest."

She scoffed, scrunching her nose, "I am not brave. I'm afraid of daddy long legs."

Chuckling, I roped my arm around her shoulders, heading over to the street I saw Daffy Duck at, waving over to him and whistling that we could switch, "Clarissa, I'm afraid of fucking flies."

She started giggling, snorting, "Flies?"

"You can even ask Matty. I hate flies, but that's not my point. My point is you can be afraid of things like that, it doesn't make you less brave," I smiled warmly, looking over, I saw Mathis watching us. She was surprised to see me actually having a good time with Clarissa. I gave her a wave, smiling as Clare and I stepped up to a house, continuing what I was saying, "I remember once when we all went to some party. The guy who made it only invited us just to start a fight because he was a Rich Bitch. Hundreds of people showed up, do you remember that?"

She nodded a little, rubbing her arm, "He said some really mean things... Poor Clothes, Cockroach, and Rat were the least hurtful if you ask me..."

I let out a chuckle from the back of my throat, kicking a rock from the sidewalk, "We all were ready to leave. Starting a fight in front of that many people was a hell no. We were heading out when your tiny ass turned right around and kicked him right in the balls."

This time she started to laugh, "Bad day to wear Stilettos. He got blood on them."

I snorted, "That was the perfect time to wear them, are you kidding me? That was fucking hilarious. Painful to watch as a male with my own balls, but hilarious."

She started snorting again from her laughter, cutely sounding like a piglet, "Proved my point that even a jock can scream like a little girl, though."

"You were very brave to do such a thing when the rest of us were ready to shrivel up and die," Slowly, I removed my arm from her shoulder, not ignoring the quick sadness that escaped her eyes. Holding up my hand, I gave a sweet smile to her. She perked up, looking from me to my hand and back as I teased, "Just this once."

She jumped up and down excitedly, grabbing my hand and hugging my arm, making me laugh again as we finished the street off. She was always adorable.

"I'll make you a deal, alright?" I grinned, carrying her bag for her so she could hug my arm better, watching her get worried about that very sentence. Last time somebody said those words to her it didn't go well, so I fixed her hair to reassure her, "We may go on one date. Anywhere you want to go. Once that time is up, no more flirting with me. No more trying to hold my hand. No more calling me cute in a flirty way. Strictly friends."

She stared at the pavement, looking hurt, "B-But I like you...a lot."

"Do you or do I just remind you of the things people didn't do for you that I do for others, and you wish to have it?" I made her look at me, lifting her chin with my index finger. She got really silent, closing her eyes tight and leaning against my hand as I caressed her cheek, "Clarissa, I know you. Every time I tell you I'm gay, you're in denial. You're hoping that I'm secretly not and will sweep you off your feet, but I can promise you...it is not going to happen. Believe me, I hate turning you down. I hate making you feel the way you do. I hate that I can't give you the love you want and need, but we must face our truths. It is just not going to happen."

It broke me to watch the little tears fall down her cheeks, to know my words were daggers to her. She had had this crush on me for years. I'd even heard and seen that she drew doodles of us and written little "FanFics" or whatever you want to call them. I truly wished I could give her the love she wanted from me, but I can't. I'm Gay, I will always be. You can't change your sexuality, you can try, of course, but that's not how our brains are programmed.

"Please, look at me. I wasn't done with my deal," I lightly kissed the top of her head, resting my forehead against hers. Teary-eyed, she looked at me, sniffling as I kept speaking, "You can either take the date option or you can let me hook you up with somebody who I know for a fact will treat you like a goddamn queen."

Wiping her cheeks, she scoffed, "Now, you're just dicking with me. Nobody likes me that way."

"He has been asking a lot about you. He has asked about you since the day he met you. He thought you were way out of his league. Don't you remember when he moved here? He was a badass," I pulled out my phone, showing her my text messages with Jax and nudging her, "I remember you asking about him a couple of times, and then he stopped hanging out with us and moved to his Club. You stopped asking, but he never stopped. I swear on this one, I'm not dicking with you. Go walk with him, go talk to him. You'll make his night... Maybe even his entire existence."

She hesitated before handing me back my phone, taking her candy bag, "Wh-What about you?"

"I'll be alright, I can walk with Mathis," I fixed her Lola Bunny ears, watching her eyes light up again.

She gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, whispering shyly, "D-Deal... I'm sorry for trying to get your attention and make you be straight...I just wanted you to like me."

"I do like you, just not in that way, and if you ever want to hang out, as friends, don't be afraid to give me a call," I tsked, flicking her forehead. She nodded, and then ran off towards Jax, aka Cool Cat. With that, I finished the street and leaned against the lamp post, waiting for Mathis to finish her street. A frown came across my lips as she finished her street. Her head was down, her walking trudged, and some of her makeup smeared from crying. I jogged over to her immediately, "Matty, are you alright?"

She shook her head, wiping her cheeks, and glancing up at me, "...I saw Kyle kissing another girl. Wh-When I confronted him all he said was 'I thought you saw the hints, especially when you were only called around for a booty call,' then he went off with her while saying, 'Now, stop texting me all the time.'"

I gave her a tight hug, "He's an asshole, Praying Mantis. He'll regret hurting you."

"L-Let's just finish trick-or-treating," She sniffed with a dry laugh, "I want to worry about candy, not some douche bag. We're almost finished, anyway."

We both jumped, dropping our bags at a car honking. Turning, we glared at a chuckling Mr. Lincoln and Mr. Hayes, yelling as we picked up our candy, "Assholes!"

"That's not very Looney Tunes of you!" They taunted, a devilish side-eye in my direction as they rolled up next to us, moving with us as we walked, "Cartoon characters aren't allowed to curse, You Two."

We stuck out our tongues, seeing the rest of the group waiting for us as we finished the very last house, Mathis laughing as I retorted, "Suck a carrot, Doc."

"Somebody will be with that attitude," Mr. Hayes smirked back, earning me to throw the speaking carrot I had at them both.

"If you'd both calm down and listen...," Mr. Lincoln chuckled, motioning me over to him as soon as we stepped away from the house. He leaned over his car door, resting his chin on his fist and smiling his shiny little fangs at me as he spoke, "Kyle won't be bothering either of you for a long time."

Mr. Hayes held up Kyle's candy bag, "And no, we didn't hurt or kill him. Just gave him a good ol' scare. We do have a recording if you'd like to watch it, quite amusing that he wet himself."

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