(𝙤𝙛𝙛𝙞𝙘𝙞𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙩𝙚𝙙)

Effy and I waited outside and watched everyone around us chatting about the day ahead of them.

"Bonkers! What's surf and turf mean, Eff?" Our friend, Pandora, said.

Effy and I met Panda at school the previous year, and she was completely clueless. But hey, someone's got to take her under their wing, right?

"Sex," Effy said.

"We're going to have a Whizzer time at this college!" Panda said. Her goal was to get good at having sex so she'd become popular. But neither of us was listening to her that much, and I don't know who would want to do that with her anyway.

"Right, you hate her," Effy said out of the blue.

"Who do I hate, Eff?" Panda said.

"Tell you later," she got up towards the entrance doors.

"Alright. Let's get this party started," I said, taking Effy's hand.

"Do you want a lollipop?"

"No," Effy said.

"Brie?"

"What flavor?"

"Root beer."

"No thanks," I said. Root beer lollipops were disgusting.

We went inside and sat on the bleachers. As one of the directors started speaking, there was audible farting in the crowd.

But it was just Doug. Sid told me all about the guy, and how he was a total nut job. But he could also be nice at times. The director went on to discuss actions that were not permitted on campus. And if they were to happen, one would face expulsion.

Then, this blonde woman who was supposed to be the head of communications told us to raise our hands when we were called.

"Emily Fitch," I looked over to see a girl who was a twin. She seemed to be the shier one. I saw both the twins a few minutes ago when Panda was talking about surf and turf.

"Katie Fitch," That must be the one with the boyfriend who was signing those two girls' tits, something I also saw before we went inside.

"Jonah Jeremiah Jones?"

"JJ! Present!" I looked over to see the kid from this morning, the one that had a child-like face.

"James Cook?"

"Yo!" Ketchup guy.

"Brianna Jenkins?" I raised my hand.

"Elizabeth Stonem," Effy raised her hand.

We waited around for attendance to be over when we heard someone speak up. I looked over, it was the blonde girl, Naomi. Everyone laughed when Naomi's name got called, but I don't know why. Maybe it was because she had the same name as Naomi Campbell, the supermodel.

"The boy next to me is trying to show me his tattoo, and not in a nice way."

"Why don't you show us all your pathetic tattoo?" the director said.

"I don't think you'd like it," Cook laughed.

Doug brought the megaphone up to his mouth "You have an instruction! Show her the tattoo."

Cook then pulled his pants down.

Holy shit. This guy really got his cock out during orientation.

We all started laughing. I mean, it was pretty funny. Even Effy was laughing, and she never laughs or shows emotion.

Finally, after a lot of screaming, attendance was over.

After I found my locker, I walked towards my first class. As I was walking, I saw Freddie, Cook, and JJ standing in front of a locker. On the inside, it said, "Sid Jenkins".

"Someone's left all their shit in here," Cook said.

"Ah, you've found my brother's locker. Could you hand me the beanie please?" I said. Freddie tossed me his black beanie, and I stuffed it in my bag.

"Oh man, your brother's a fucking god!" Cook pulled out one of his Asian Freaky Fun magazines.

"Oh god," I groaned. It seemed to freak JJ out too.

I'm sad to say I have walked in on Sid wanking off to those magazines a couple of times. I saw Cook carrying a list of what looked like all the things that are forbidden on campus if I remembered correctly.

"What's that? The list, I mean," I said.

"Oh, you know Effy Stonem, right?" Freddie said.

"Um, yea. She's my best friend, why?"

"Well, she made the list, and she says the first one to break all the rules on here gets to know her better," Freddie said. I scoffed.

"Aha. Well, good luck with that," I chuckled as I walked off to class.

The day went by very fast, and the last class of the day was philosophy. Kieran, the teacher, told us to say our names and one fact about ourselves. Kieran said he hated being a fucking teacher. When I asked him why he just waved his hand at me.

JJ said a fact about himself that for the life of me made no sense at all.

Then Katie stood up, "I'm Katie, and I've never not had a boyfriend since I was 7."

"Congrats, you?"

"I'm Emily, and I've never had a boyfriend."

"Shit happens, you?"

Naomi stood up, "I'm Naomi. I hate injustice, and people tell lies about me."

Effy then stood up, "I'm Effy, and I think my mom's having an affair."

She had told me about her inference beforehand, and honestly, I wouldn't know. Anthea always seemed a little off to me anyway.

I then stood up, "I'm Brianna, and I've been playing tennis for 10 years."

I loved tennis. I tried to teach Effy how to play, but she wasn't into it.

Then Freddie stood up, "I'm Freddie, and I met a girl I liked today. She's beautiful," he said. Kieran didn't seem to care that much, though. I bet Freddie was talking about Effy, who then raised her hand.

"Kieran? I'm feeling a bit shit. I might have to go to the nurse's office."

"Alright then. Go," Kieran said. After Effy left, Cook asked to go to the nurse's office as well. His balls were allegedly aching.

"Bugger off, then."

Oh, Effy. Effy, Effy, Effy.

I couldn't help but feel bad for Freddie because he looked uneasy the moment Cook got up and left. I didn't feel too good either.