kalani depradine

My family raised me well. Do not drop out of school and do not do drugs. I managed to avoid both of those things with little to no struggle. It was unspoken that being knocked up by a random man was something I should have tried to avoid too. And I had every intention to never have children, so it did not seem like an issue.

Yet here I was, squeezing my eyes shut as the doctor applied cold gel to my stomach. I clung to my chair like it was a lifeline. I hoped the tighter I squeezed and the tighter I kept my eyes shut, I would get rid of the sick nightmare I was in. The nightmare where I was at the doctor's office checking to see if there was a baby in me.

I prayed. I prayed to a God I had forgotten was up there. I've missed church this past month, but it was a slip up and surely this couldn't be my consequence.

"Yup. There definitely is a baby in there."

Fuck.

The doctor washed me with despair. Terrible news that was going to change my life. She laughed, trying to weaken the tension in the room. She knew the news she delivered was not news I wanted to hear.

My hand dragged down my face in agony. "Three months."

Pregnancy was supposed to be an event worth celebrating. People try hard for babies. They pay money to have one implanted in them. And I felt the complete opposite of how I should be feeling.

"Great," I muttered under my breath, trying to figure this all out. I was doing the math in my head, trying to put all the numbers together. I'm not in a relationship. At least not anymore. So the father of this baby was not someone who is currently in my life.

"Where's the father?"

She was a nosy doctor. The father of my child should not be anything of her concern. The way she asked was said with a mocking tone. Like she knew the answer and wanted to hear me spit it out. She wanted to hear me say I had no relations with this baby's other half.

"You know who the father is right?" She judged my situation completely. Embarrassment flushed over me and I felt as if she deserved an explanation. Like she deserved an explanation for my messed up life that really was not all that messed up.

"Of course I do. I just...I um," I bit my lip. I found it hard to form words. My lips moved, but nothing audible was coming. I had no idea where to start or whether this random doctor was someone I could confide in. "It was a one night stand type of thing. You know, get drunk at a bar, go to their hotel room, hook up then leave early that morning before they wake up," I explained with nothing but shame in myself. It sounded like this was a lifestyle for me when it truly isn't.

"Oh," she was shocked with my answer. She didn't expect anything from me, but she surely wasn't expecting that.

My mind was backtracking to think of how this could have happened to me. Relaying the details of that night. Remembering what that man's name could have been.

Garrett? Gabe? Gavin?

I remember his name being different. I remember it being popular but different. He was the first of that name I've met. How do I not even know his name? I remember everything but his name.

I remember the way his hands grabbed my body. They held me like those large hands were molded strictly to hold me and only me. His grip on me was tight and the way he used my body for his pleasure created soreness for days to come. My hips were bruised. His lips. His full plump lips. They travelled along my body, making sure not to leave any part of it untouched. He pleasured me first. He showed special attention to my needs and desires before his. His body. Built to perfection like a carefully sculpted work of art. His face was symmetrical in ways no other human has been blessed with. Dark hair with green eyes that captivated anything and anyone he pleased. His figure was large and towered over me completely, even in my heels. I was small and I liked how his body was unbearably larger than mine.

It was a one night stand. A one night stand that managed to be the best, most intense sex I have ever had in my life. What a shame it is that this sex which brought me enlightenment had to cause me consequences that will last my entire life.

"What's he like?" Her voice brought me out of the heavy emotions I was feeling all over again. I blinked a few times. Since when are doctors so invested in their patient's personal life?

"I don't know. We talked for like...ten minutes before he brought me to his hotel room. I was honestly drunk as fuck. I mean, we were both drunk. But fuck."

My appointment came to an end and after cleaning everything, I was on my way. I booked my next appointment then found my way into my car. I didn't know what to do with this news. Was I to keep it to myself or inform this strange man of this unexpected incident?

I scrolled through my contacts looking for an unfamiliar name which I ended up finding.

Grayson.

His name is Grayson Astor.

I swallowed my pride. It was thick and sharp and went down my throat with much struggle. Slow and steady, cutting up portion of my neck.

"Called for round two?" His voice was deeper than I remembered. That night is much of a blur and only the important parts are the ones I remember. But it shocked me he also remembered that night despite it being three months ago.

"Not exactly," I forced myself to laugh. A laugh filled with mostly air and no stomach. None of this is funny.

"Why else would you be calling?" He asked genuinely confused. I took a deep breath, putting my body out of its misery from its lack of air. I don't recall him being a douche.

"I'm pregnant," I spoke aloud for the first time. That was the first time those words had ever left my lips, and I hate the way it sounds. These two words are going to change everything for me.

He gave a chuckle. I could feel a grin spreading on his face from the other end of the phone. "Congrats?" I sighed when he didn't completely understand what I was trying to say. Words were not forming in my mouth that could help me elaborate on the matter.

"Three months pregnant."

"Again, congratulations. Why're you telling me this?" The annoyance was coming through in his voice. He was making this more difficult than it needed to be. He's a douche and stupid?

"You're the only person I've slept with in the past three months," I tried to help him understand and he finally did understand. Silence fell upon us and it slowly began to eat me alive. It twisted up my stomach and made my brain think of all the worst case scenarios.

"This seems like matters to be discussed in person. Would you like to meet with me for lunch? You can come to office."

Our phone call quickly came to an end before he shared the address to his office building. It was in the middle of downtown, and one of the recently built buildings. It was huge. I never would have expected for him to work here.

When I arrived at his office, it didn't take me long to get acquainted with how important he must be. He didn't only work for this company, but was the owner. His big title intimidated me. Crept over me like a huge cloud that was about to put rainfall on me. I met him at a hotel bar. He was a complete stranger that happens to have this big, extravagant lifestyle.

My car was taken away by valet and a private vehicle took us to the restaurant. The windows were tinted a dark black, preventing anyone from the outside from looking in. My palms were sweaty and I found myself running them along my jeans constantly. Everything about his presence felt expensive. His time felt expensive and I felt as if I could not afford it.

Grayson looked exactly as I remembered. His scent was luxury and matched the suit that hugged his body. The shirt he wore was a tight button up wrapping around his muscles nicely. His buttons were only half done, letting a portion of his chest remain seen. A gold chain dangled around his neck. Everything about him was sexy. I was squeezing my legs shut.

The restaurant was beautiful. A smaller one made specifically for lunch. His taste in food is nice.

"Kalani," Grayson's voice pulled me from my thought. The way his voice spit out my name was heavenly. I was lost at sea in my own mind. I looked away from my menu and at him. His bright eyes were already on me.

"Sorry I um...I was in my head," I blinked.

"I was asking what you do for a living," he took a sip of his wine. Wine I so badly wanted to order.

"I work for a magazine company as a marketing specialist," I responded and his face gave away his discomfort. There was disgust I hope would not translate into his voice. When I tell people I work for a magazine company, they for some reason never take the job seriously.

I drank my water, looking around the restaurant. It was filled with many people in suits. A great spot for business people to have meetings during the day.

"You're claiming this...this baby is mine. Why are you so sure?"

He jumped right to the purpose of our meeting. I don't know how to explain myself to him. Although it was a simple answer.

"I'm sure."

He sighed. His head tilted up to look at the ceiling like he was struggling to recall that night. "We used protection."

"No we didn't. You said you didn't have condoms and that it wouldn't be an issue because you would pull out," I refreshed his memory despite my scattered recall of the night. Those details remained very vivid in my mind and always will. They remained in my head because it embarrassed me that I slept with a random guy with no protect. I quickly got tested a few weeks after, but it's still not one of my proudest moments.

But all in all, his pull out game is weak.

"Right," he muttered under his breath in disappointment. He shook his head, using his fingers to rub his eyes. This was a hard pill to swallow. I had time to digest it, but this is all still fairly new to him. I could see how much this was stressing him out.

"Look, I didn't come to you because I need your help raising it or because I need your money. I just figured you deserved to know you have a child."

I was not at all familiar with the fact that he had money until an hour ago. I didn't contact him seeking support. But if I were a man, I hope someone would do me the small favour of sharing they would be having my child.

His mouth moved but failed to release any words. He had so much to say, yet no way to put his thoughts into words. So I looked at his eyes, hoping I would be able to read them and that they would give away everything he was thinking.

A child is a life changer. They can either change your life for better or for worse. Now, a child with a stranger creates its own challenges. He was allowed to feel confused on what to do next.

"I...I'll have to think about," he said words I didn't expect to come out of him. I expected nothing from him. At bare minimum a thank you. But an 'I'll think about it' seemed absolutely bizarre. What is there to think about? I'm having this baby.

"I-"

"My family will want to become acquainted with you. Seeing as you are carrying my child, they're going to want to meet you."

Parents. Usually you meet them when you're in a relationship with someone. That way when you're carrying their baby, there is not any awkward tension. But these people who are just like Grayson are going to be meeting me, solely because I'm carrying his baby.

This is all happening fast. I went from not even remembering what his name was, to meeting his parents. It is overwhelmingly scary and caused more stress than I should have to experience.

"I'll text you when I know I'm available."