🌾

Adelio waits patiently in her sister's room.

She taps her foot against the ground aggressively. Again and again and again. He does. She does. He or she. Adelio bites her lip. She looks outside, through the open, round stone balcony that gives air and light to the princesses room. It's a beautiful day outside. He's patient. She's patient. She's patient. Right. Her foot taps against the yellow and white stone floor. Okay, maybe she isn't patient.

She is stressing. A lot. Not just about the marriage now standing in front of her, but because of everything that it comes with. Adelio doesn't know what is wrong with her. Him. She is experiencing some sort of identity crisis while also being worried about her future, and about her fiancé's future. As a woman, how can she marry another woman? But she is a man though. A man. Everybody thinks that she is a man, even her own sisters. That is why she shouldn't have come here. Her eldest younger sister provides comfort like a woman should, and even though Adelio hates the stereotype, she always wishes for her sister's comforting hand and smile. But this time her sister can't help. Because she can't understand.

Still Adelio is here, in her room, waiting for the princess to come back from her daily lessons. Her sister Alisiah is only one year younger than her. She is literally everything Adelio could've been, as a woman. They look very similar. Alisiah is also a strongly built woman, but she doesn't train and eats very little, trying to suppress that masculinity as much as possible. They both have gorgeous black hair and black eyes, and attractive faces. But one is a woman, the other is a man. Still, if they tried, they could look like twins. That's what makes it so creepy. Alisiah is what Adelio should've been, as a woman. Alisiah is what Adelio sometimes wishes she could be.

Even her room is as beautiful as a woman can make it. Something so feminine and wonderful, which to be fair Adelio doesn't really like, but sometimes longs for. She isn't the feminine type and is fine with pretending to be a man, but sometimes it just doesn't feel alright anymore. Sometimes she wishes she could be completely honest and true to herself and others. Especially her sisters. She wishes she could be honest to her sisters.

The princesses chamber is on the fourth floor of the palace, two large rooms with dark yellow stone walls, white and yellow stone floors and a same yellow ceiling. Different kinds of fabrics hang from the ceiling as decoration, in pink and purple and red. Even some white too. In one of the rooms there is a big round bed, with pillows and thin blankets in the same colors. In the other room,where Adelio is right now, there are low velvet and leather couches with a mountain of pillows, low wooden tables with small decorative porcelain boxes, and a balcony that stands over the inner courtyard. Of course there are other rooms around, like a bathing room and a clothing room, but Adelio doesn't have access to those. Because she is a man.

So many things of female life that she can never know, can never experience. So many things she has to figure out on her own. All because of the fact that she is a man. And yes, Adelio is lucky to be a man, in a country that hates women. But she wishes that at least one person knew. At least one person. And the person that she wishes would know is Alisiah, Adelio concludes, as she sees her walking through the wide wooden doors of her own room. As beautiful as always.

Long black hair tied into one big and loose braid, flowers in orange and pink all around her hairdo. A matching orange dress with a few pink tones, and an all-knowing smile on her face. For her, it must be an endearing sight. Her own elder brother, usually so strong and intimidating in front of everyone else, sitting on her sofa with tired and cute eyes, just waiting for her comfort. She must take so much pride in having a brother that actually cares about women, or at least cares about her. A brother that needs her, and doesn't just use her for power and money. That endearment and pride is so disgusting to Adelio, who knows that it would all be so different if her sister knew the truth.

She's not a savior brother. She's a sister in an unfortunate situation.

Still her sister looks at her with a knowing smile, moving towards her with grace. Adelio stands up to greet her sister. She is quick to stop and bow to him. Adelio won't have any of it. She reaches out and grabs her arms, pulling her younger sister up from the bow and hugging her instead.

"It's terrible, Alisiah"

And Adelio knows that it's not fair. She's the man in this situation, for her nothing is actually bad. For Alisiah, as a woman, everything is bad in this kingdom. Still she can only hug her younger sister and complain with a broken voice. Adelio breaks the hug and looks behind her sister, seeing the guards still standing by the open door. She frowns, which must look quite intimidating to them, as she looks like a very tall and strong and powerful man angry about someone seeing him showing vulnerability with his family. Nobody dares to mess with that. So with only one glare, they quickly shut the door and leave the two royals alone.

Alisiah smiles.

"What's terrible, brother?

She moves to sit on the couch and Adelio does the same. With any other man she would've waited for him to sit first, before making herself comfortable. But Adelio is proud to be the only man that her sister is comfortable around. The only man who she doesn't feel the need to act around. Now that they are seated opposite of each other, Adelio feels a strong need to just say everything. Reveal everything. But she knows hse can't, even though she wants to so badly. It's just not worth the risk, no matter how much Alisiah deserves to know. Instead, she is at a loss of words. Without telling Alisiah the truth, she can't tell her anything.

The princess still finds a way to figure out her problem, without her saying a word.

"Are you worried about the marriage, brother?"

She smiles knowingly.

"It's completely normal to feel nervous before marriage"

And Adelio knows that she knows. If anybody should know, it's a woman. Getting married might seem wonderful on the outside, but often times it ends badly for the woman in the relationship. Just take her mother as an example. Her life hung in the balance, as she hoped for her first child to be a male. To the point where she hid away when going into labor in the middle of the night and gave birth on the floor. She pretended that it was a man, and refused to let anybody wash her child after that. Nobody knew, and those who found out she hired assassins to kill. Eventually, after all that hard work, she died of the common cold while her husband was out celebrating with his mistresses. A woman never wins in a marriage, and she never wins alone. A woman never wins.

So yes, Adelio feels pathetic for being nervous of this marriage. Or, she feels pathetic for being nervous in front of a woman who believes that she is a man. In reality, she has every right to be nervous. As a woman she shouldn't marry a woman, because she will eventually doom their relationship. A woman can't create children with other women. Adelio knows that much. Had she been raised as a woman she wouldn't know, because they are kept innocent of such things. But being raised a man she knows very well the insides of this world, and that's how she is sure that both she and her fiancé are doomed.

But what can she say?

"I'm just worried for her... my fiancé"

That she, as a man, is worried for her fiancé. To put it simply, that's what she is. Worried. No other words can be used to describe her feelings. Everything must be kept a secret.

"You will treat her better than father treated mother, don't worry about that brother"

Alisiah says, this time with a softer voice.

"You will treat her better"

But Adelio can't be very sure of that.

"The wedding is in two weeks. In a week, on the thirtieth of the month, his highness will travel to the Blue Knight empire and marry princess Margaret there. To make sure of your Highnesses safe travel, one hundred of our best men will accompany him on the trip"

Adelio looks absolutely terrifying.

She sits at the end of the table, surrounded by high ranking officials, her own cousins, other nobles and even her uncle the duke, who sits at the other end. While the king's right hand man explains the travel plan to the rest of the table, Adelio sits in complete silence. She is a clear gloomy sight, making the whole room of men uncomfortable with her presence. No normal person wouldn't be intimidated by her, as tall and powerful as she is, but today it's extra special.

It's only one week until she has to leave for the Blue Knight kingdom. And yes, it's a risk to travel there, since the two kingdoms have been enemies for centuries. But Adelio isn't worried about the Blue Knight kingdom and what they might do to her. She is more worried about the marriage as a whole. None of her sister's words have helped, and now she is here, forced to be in a stuffy room of privileged rich and powerful men just like her, as they talk about her future while she stays silent. In that way, she almost feels like a woman.

The right hand man clears his throat.

"Upon returning to the palace, the crown prince and crown princess shall begin their duties as a couple, touring the kingdom and meeting high members of society. We will follow the example of his current majesty and what he did with the late queen after their marriage"

No, Adelio thinks.

She will never be like her father.

Never.

🌾