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“Seriously, Georgie, are you sure this is a good idea?”

Ava’s electrified voice sounds in my ear as I hold up the cell phone with my shoulder. It’s a tricky task, but I need use of both hands to find a suitable outfit for the carnival tonight, especially when Nathan’s due to pick me up in less than two hour’s time.

“It’s fine,” I say dismissively, whilst scrutinizing a pair of skinny jeans. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

“I don’t know, but don’t you think it’s kind of... harsh on Nathan?”

I pause as her words sink in. True, the thought has crossed my mind once or twice – okay, a lot of times – but it’s always been overpowered by the thought of aggravating Connor. “Not really... I’m not hurting him.”

“But aren’t you kind of... leading him on? I think he actually likes you.”

“Look, it’s okay. I mean, Nathan’s a great guy anyway. Just because I don’t like him in that way now... well, who’s to say I won’t in the future? Maybe us going out is the right thing to do. Plus, isn’t it worth it to get back at Connor? I mean, our last plan obviously sucked but... well, this could work.”

“I’m still not sure.”

“Connor’s a jerk, Ava. He deserves this.” Screwing my nose up, I toss another shirt onto the “no way” pile. “You’re coming to the carnival too, right?”

“Yeah. Mom’s forcing me to take Lucy.”

I grimace at the thought of Ava’s spoiled sibling. Lucy, who’s now ten years old, has been a brat for as long as I can remember. She’s always been the exact opposite of my best friend – rude, demanding and attention-loving – and for some reason seems to get double the affection from their parents. I can imagine my distaste at Lucy being dragged along is matched by Ava’s.

“Oh, right. Well, I’ll see you there. Right now I’ve got to figure out what I’m going to wear... and it’s not looking good so far.”

Once we say our goodbyes and hang up, I fling my cell onto my bed and heave a sigh. A twinge of guilt strikes my insides as the content of our conversation begins to sink in. I know that Ava’s got a point... if I really don’t feel anything toward Nathan, it’s probably wrong to lead him on.

But how can I give up when I’ve already got this far?

If I’m honest, I thought the whole “getting him to agree to a date” thing would be way harder. Especially since I’ve never dated anyone before.

Shameful, right? A junior who hasn’t even been on one measly date... still, it’s the sad truth.

Sighing again, I push the thoughts out of my mind. Dwelling on them isn’t going to make the situation any better, so I might as well put my attention to better use – finding something to wear that’s both pretty and warm. The beginning of December has already reared its head, which means balmy t-shirt weather is nothing more than a distant fantasy.

Eventually, after much deliberation, I decide layers are the best option. A vest, sweater and thick jacket are going to be topped with my chunkiest scarf, hat and gloves. Whose idea was it to have a carnival in the middle of winter, anyway? Maybe it’s all part of the theme, but surely that doesn’t justify the brutal temperatures we’re forced to brave.

An hour later, I’m ready. My unruly hair’s been tamed into neater curls with tongs and I’ve piled on enough make-up to minimize the risk of any red-nosed situations from the cold. As I go to close the blind on my window, I can’t help but let my eyes linger on Connor’s own bedroom window, which happens to be directly opposite mine. The light’s off – everything inside is plunged into darkness, rendering it invisible – which can only mean one of two things.

He’s either left for the carnival already, or not even started getting ready. Did he really overhear mine and Nathan’s plans for tonight? He must have at least an inkling, especially with the increased amount of time we’ve been spending together at school.

Whatever. Even if he doesn’t know, he’s going to find out pretty soon.

I just hope he’s in a jealous mood.

“Georgie!” My mom’s voice calling from downstairs yanks me back to reality. “Someone’s here for you!”

Oh, crap. How did I not hear the doorbell? I had planned to slip out as quickly as possible to prevent my embarrassing mother spending too much time with Nathan. Looks like it’s too late for that idea. The only thing I can do now is grab my purse and hurry down the stairs as quickly as possible, before Mom has a chance to get out the baby photos.

Trust me. She’ll do it.

“You two are going to the carnival?” Mom says, as I practically leap down the last couple of steps.

“Yeah,” I interject, before she can steer the conversation towards any potentially embarrassing topics, “but we can’t hang around. We have to, um... avoid traffic. Right, Nathan?” I shoot him a look that says agree with me now or severe consequences will follow.

Thankfully, he seems to get the picture and nods his head enthusiastically. “Um, yeah. We don’t want to be... late.”

My mom looks far from convinced, alternating her questioning look between the pair of us, but doesn’t pursue the matter. Instead she shrugs it off, which I am eternally grateful for. “Well, okay. You two have fun.” She then looks pointedly at me. “Don’t do anything stupid.”

If I wasn’t so inclined to usher my date away from her, I might be offended. However, I just force a sweet smile onto my face and bid her goodbye as the two of us head outside. It’s only when the front door clicks shut behind us that I allow myself to breathe a sigh of relief.

“Don’t do anything stupid?” Nathan echoes amusedly, as we trudge down the path in the direction of his truck. “Wow, it’s nice to see her putting her trust in you.”

“Yeah...” I roll my eyes as we trudge down the path, digging my hands further into the pockets of my jacket. I had anticipated cold, but not to this extent. Already my cheeks are tingling and we’ve been out here for less than thirty seconds. I clench my jaw and try to focus on something else other than the white cloud my breath is forming in front of me.

Something else... like whether Connor’s noticed us leaving yet.

His car’s on the drive; he probably hasn’t left yet. Is that a good or bad thing? Hmm… I wonder if I can risk a look at his bedroom window without looking too suspicious? Maybe... if I act quickly, like I’m not looking at anything particular...

“Georgie?”

“Huh?” My head snaps upwards, my gaze landing on Nathan’s frowning expression. It’s only then that I realize we’re already at his truck, and he’s holding the door open, waiting for me to slide into the passenger seat.

And I’m standing there like an idiot, as per usual.

“Oh! Sorry,” I say, shaking my head in an effort to clear my thoughts. “Not concentrating.”

Nice one, Georgie. Mentally slapping myself, I climb into the car as elegantly as I can manage (obviously, I’m still me, so that’s not very) and smile graciously as Nathan shuts the door for me. Ugh, why is he such a gentleman? If he was more of a jerk, this whole thing would be way easier.

Damn you, nice guy.

I can’t resist sneaking a glance at the house next door as we pull away from the curb. There’s no sign of movement other than the flickering light of the TV in the living room.

“You’re thoughtful today,” Nathan comments, an undertone of amusement audible in his voice.

“Huh?” I say, swiftly averting my attention back to him.

“You seem... distracted.” He shrugs, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. “Like you’ve got something on your mind.”

“Oh... no,” I deny pathetically, making a mental note to stop getting so absorbed in Connor’s whereabouts. At the current rate, I might as well wear a sign around my neck that says “I’m just doing this to make my ex-best friend jealous”. It would probably be more subtle. “I’m fine. Really.”

Nathan nods, but I’m not sure he completely believes me. I suppose I can’t blame him, really. My lying skills leave a lot to be desired, and quite frankly, I’m not sure my ulterior motive will stay a secret for long.

Just chill out, Georgie, I tell myself soothingly. Just concentrate on what you’re here for. A date with Nathan. An evening spent at the carnival with a nice guy... nothing more.

Yeah, right. Like that will convince me.

“It’s a left up here, right?” he says, gesturing towards the turn in the road.

“Yeah.”

It’s just a date, Georgie. You can do it.

***

“I want a candy floss!”

It takes all I have not to roll my eyes as Lucy folds her arms and stares determinedly at Ava, a sour expression written all over her face. Spending just ten minutes with the kid has been enough to drive me up the wall – I don’t know how Ava manages to share a house with her without committing a murder.

“Okay, okay, I’ll get you one in a sec,” Ava says.

“No, I want one now!”

She stamps her foot angrily, even though her Ugg boots are too soft to make any sort of sound on the grassy floor. Staring between the two of them, I contemplate the possibility of one of them being adopted. It seems likely; Ava and Lucy are different in practically every way possible. My best friend’s dark hair is of stark contrast to her younger sibling’s blonde waves, and while she’s fairly tall like me, Lucy’s stature is tiny.

And… well, let’s just say Ava doesn’t throw a tantrum when she doesn’t get what she wants.

I shoot a sideways glance at Nathan, raising my eyebrows. He returns it, obviously surprised by the overpowering nature of the kid in front of us.

“Sorry, guys,” Ava says apologetically, as Lucy grabs her arm. “I’ll probably catch up with you later.”

“Sure,” I respond. Nathan and I manage a smile in her direction as she trails off in the direction of the candy floss stall, being half-dragged by her demonic sister. I honestly doesn’t know how she stands being around her without wanting to rip a chunk of her blonde hair out – I can only imagine how satisfying that’d be. When the two of them disappear round the corner out of sight, I breathe a sigh.

“Wow, she’s…” I watch Nathan’s pensive expression as he struggles to think of a suitable adjective, “a character.”

“Yeah,” I murmur in agreement, “she is.”

The carnival is bustling, despite the unconventional time of year. The place is teeming with teenagers, kids and couples alike. Refreshment and game stalls are set up around every corner, each boasting their offerings – whether it be a bottomless Diet Coke or the biggest stuffed bear I’ve ever seen. The rides are dotted around the place, each lit up by different strings of lights and decorations.

It’s just a shame, you know, that the temperature is rivaling the North Pole.

I’m about to make a comment on the iciness of the air which is making me shiver underneath my layered clothing, but before I can open my mouth, something catches my attention. As if an automatic reflex, my head snaps in that direction, which is when my suspicions are confirmed.

Connor has his arm draped over Charlotte’s shoulders. She must be absolutely freezing in her tight jeans and leather jacket, but if she is, she’s not showing it. Even from some distance away, I notice that they’re simpering pathetically at each other, laughing at something that’s probably not even funny.

How can he stand her? Just being in the same room as her sickly sweet act is enough to make any normal person nauseous.

Suddenly, Charlotte’s face breaks into a wide smile and she points in the direction of the Ferris wheel. Lit up by multi-colored lights on each compartment that contrast beautifully with the dark sky, it’s obviously the centerpiece of the place. Before he’s able to protest, she removes herself from underneath Connor’s arm, lacing her fingers with his and pulling him towards the ride’s queue.

“You’re doing it again,” Nathan says, when I look back at him. “That distracted thing.”

“Sorry… hey, do you wanna go on the Ferris wheel?” I force a sweet smile onto my face, tilting my head slightly to the side in a way I hope looks kinda cute.

And you know, not just like I have some kind of problem with my neck.

As soon as his reply leaves his lips (a taken aback “Um, sure…”), I surprise myself with my boldness and grab his hand, eager to enter Connor’s line of sight before the pair board the ride.

Nathan’s expression appears slightly flustered at my action, but I don’t really have time to ponder on the thought. I’m too preoccupied with making sure we get across the carnival and in the Ferris wheel queue as quickly as possible. This is the first time I’ve seen Connor in the hour we’ve been here, and I’m not going to waste the opportunity.

“What’s the rush?” Nathan asks, as I practically drag him across the field. Half of my attention is focused on the bright lights of the ride we’re heading for, whilst the other half is given the job of keeping my balance. This grass is deceiving; it’s way bumpier than it appears.

I suppose I can spare a fraction of my concentration on my date. “Nothing,” I garble quickly, making a conscious effort to slow my pace a little. “I, uh... just want to get there before the line gets too long.”

“There’s hardly any people over there,” he points out, the hint of a smile tugging at his lips.

So maybe he’s right. The queue is the shortest in view; obviously, the majority of the visitors have disregarded the Ferris wheel in favor of more exciting rides, like the weird spinning upside-down thing that’s just a recipe for nausea. I’ll pass on that one – Connor and his irritating girlfriend have already got that covered.

Still, does he need to point it out? He’s making my job a lot harder by questioning all of my suspicious actions.

Thankfully, at this time, we arrive by the entrance of the Ferris wheel. As I lead Nathan into the queue line by the hand, Connor and Charlotte are being ushered into their multicolored compartment by a burly guy with heavily tattooed arms. I hear her high-pitched giggling ringing out as the safety bar clicks shut and the wheel starts to move.

I guess they haven’t seen us yet.

I contemplate letting go of Nathan’s hand, but he seems to be enjoying the feel of our intertwined fingers, so I let it stay there. The guilt won’t completely go away, no matter how much I try to eradicate it. For a second I find myself wondering how criminals can murder people. If I’m getting so worked up about one measly date that may or may not have an ulterior motive... well, I think it’s safe to say I’ll never lead a life of crime.

Why am I even thinking about this? I’m so weird.

Nathan steps forward, the movement tugging on my arm, and that’s when I realize it’s now our turn. Avoiding eye contact with the scary attendant who looks like he’s just waiting for an opportunity to punch someone, I smile sweetly as Nathan takes a step back to allow me to climb in first. We have to break hands at this point – otherwise getting on the ride would probably turn into some complicated gymnastic routine – so I can clamber in.

I hope he’s not looking at my butt.

As the two of us collapse onto the uncomfortable plastic seat, the compartment suffers a worrying wobble. Wait... since when were Ferris wheels this unsafe? The bar clicks shut over our laps and I find myself wondering how it will fare in protecting us from falling to our deaths.

“Are you okay?”

I turn back to the blonde beside me, who looks genuinely concerned. “Yeah, um, fine.”

The compartment suddenly gives a jolt and I barely contain a yelp of surprise as we begin moving upwards. Both my hands reach for the bar and I cling to it for dear life.

This metal pole is basically the only thing standing between me and a painful death.

“You’re scared, aren’t you?” Nathan says. I can tell from the tone of his voice that he’s finding my discomfort very amusing, and for this reason, I kind of want to slap him.

“No.” I force out a shaky laugh. “Why would you think that?”

“So you wouldn’t mind me doing... this?”

Without warning, he shifts his weight over to one side and rocks the compartment, sending it jolting in all directions. The movement scares me so much I don’t even think about what I’m doing – I just cling to the nearest stable object. It just so happens that the nearest stable object is him.

He laughs, the sound reverberating through his chest as I grasp the fabric of his coat tightly in my fists.

“Okay, so maybe I am scared,” I admit shamefully, daring to look upward, “but I didn’t remember Ferris wheels being this... unstable before.”

“It’s fine,” he says. “I think it’s cute.”

Before my cheeks even have time to redden, a familiar squeaky voice rings out from somewhere behind us. I turn and scan the other compartments for the source of the noise. That’s when I notice Connor and Charlotte in each other’s arms two seats back from us. They’re at the highest point, while we’ve just reached the quarter past position on the wheel.

And Connor has definitely noticed me.

I almost forget about my fear for a second. Even though I may not be showing it on the outside, internally I’m smirking. As I turn back to Nathan, I become aware that this is a prime starting point for the jealousy plan. His blue eyes are transfixed on me and the lights of the carnival below us are only emphasizing their bright blue color.

It’s a total spur-of-the-moment decision, but I go for it.

I close my eyes, lean in, and sacrifice my first kiss.

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IT'S LONG. Hopefully that makes up for it being late? This marks the end of me writing in advance. I am now officially not up to date, so forgive me if uploads get a little later. Exams are stressful :(

GUYS, what happened to your comments?! Suddenly it went from like 170 per chapter to 100 and I was like, have my readers gone mute?! LOL, I love your comments so much. They motivate me, which makes me write quicker. Is that enough persuasion? I hope so. Anyway, until next time <3