he

his name once tasted so sweet

it tasted like the stars i longed to meet

it tasted like the melted chocolate

coating his throat

i didn't notice

when that chocolate began to burn

his eyes were so dark

i thought they contained universes

i thought they held worlds

i thought they held my heart

his eyes were so dark

but i lost myself in that darkness

and i fell

a breathless fall

he left me ruined

it's still my fault

he wanted me

he needed me

it made him feel good

i made him feel good

maybe because i was the pain

he had suffered through

and he was painting me in his scars

leaving my mind in shattered pieces

twisting me into a tangled pattern

that resembled his own

he said i was the reason for the scars on his wrists

i never told him he was the reason for mine

for him, i killed myself

i killed myself to be his doll

he burned me, cut me, beat me

until i was black and blue

underneath my skin

where no one could see he was pulling loose

all of my seams

and if he came back to me

if he grabbed my wrists

which he left so sore

if he grabbed my heart

which he left so fragile

if he grabbed me

which he had left so broken

i would fall apart in his hands

and he would ruin me

all over again

i would let it happen

just for him