When I had asked TaekWoon to let me see him perform on stage, I hadn't expected to be front and center of a live performance at the studio where they filmed Inkigayo. Chained Up had done so well that Vixx had an encore stage almost a month after their regular promotions had ended. And by some miracle, TaekWoon had gotten me in to see the live recording.

The large production studio's staff were stern when it came to the number of fans allowed inside for the performances; they made sure that each popular group had just enough support for it to be noticeable on camera.

Understanding that, I knew that the girls around me were die-hard fans because just getting into these types of events required buying numerous albums, belonging to the official fan club and spending hours waiting outside the studio for the recording to start.

I admired their dedication but I also felt something like protectiveness start to build up inside my chest. Excited Starlights held up posters and phone screens that read Leo and TaekWoon in bright letters, calling out his name before he and his members had even walked on stage.

Who was I in all of this, what could I give him that any one of these girls couldn't? Suddenly I felt somewhat inadequate, like maybe my life was too simple. I had asked him to be a husband and father; how did that compare to stardom and these fans' adoration?

I was subdued until the lights flashed, the spotlights announcing Vixx's entrance on the stage. The fans around me erupted into deafening cheers, each girl screaming out their favorite member's names. When Vixx finally appeared and their song began, the TaekWoon on stage didn't seem like my TaekWoon at all. He was someone different as he pushed back his hair from his face in a graceful sweep, making the girls around me scream in response.

His movements were fluid, almost lazy even though I knew the amount of practice it had to have taken for it to look so effortless. His beautiful voice rang out over the track playing in the background and I sat back in my seat, shocked that he was singing live in the midst of such a tiring dance. Sparks flew up from the stage while the group sang the chorus and as the boys moved through their song, I couldn't tear my eyes away from TaekWoon.

He was bold, sexy and entrancing, the smallest of his jerks and thrusts making me want to jump up on stage and grab him before anyone else saw what I did. The small lip bites and the way he shook his body to the beat sent shivers racing through me. I fanned myself lightly, remembering how those same lips and that same body had been pressed against mine.

I could've never imagined seeing him perform like this, his sweet voice becoming powerful as he sang the high notes. There was a fierceness in him that hadn't come out while we'd been together and I couldn't help but wonder where this side of his personality had been hiding. The performance was chaotic and amazing and I was completely lost.

After it was over, one of the girls I was sitting next to noticed my shocked expression and asked me which one of the guys had me so jumbled up. When I spoke TaekWoon's name in reverence, she only chuckled in response.

"Unnie, that's called LeShinSet. Chukahamnida!"

"What does that even mean?"

"Once you start to care for Leo you fall for him. And once you fall, there's no way out," the girl laughed as she finished her explanations and I thought over her words. Honestly, she had a point; just when had he wormed his way so deep into my heart? What was happening to me?

Backstage was completely different from what I'd expected to see in a music broadcasting station. Older groups like Vixx all had their own dressing rooms, but the newer groups had to share large open spaces with others. As a stage manager led me to the boys, I saw that three girl groups had been placed into one huge room, plastic screens the only things separating them from each other. I couldn't imagine having to share breathing space with those who were essentially your competition. How much more anxious would you be when you had to go onstage, knowing that the ones who may cost you fame and nullify years' worth of training were in the same room?

Kpop was a cutthroat business; hundreds of groups debuted each year but maybe three or four lasted. It spoke to Vixx's fortitude and talent that they had not only lasted so long, but managed to become as popular as they had. Hard work wasn't something they lacked, and I felt a sense of pride that the man I had married had dedicated so much of himself to his craft.

Despite this being a busy studio, besides the low hum of voices coming from rooms with open doors, it was surprisingly calm in the hallways. Most of the doors were closed, the idols inside either preparing for stages or resting after their performances. I had been expecting more of the pomp and circumstance that followed American artists around like the plague. But it was essentially quiet, and completely free of crazed fans. I was grateful for the latter; glad I wouldn't have to explain my presence to anyone here. It had been difficult enough fitting in with the crowd, the zealous fans more curious than usual when they saw a foreigner in their midst.

The manager left me at Vixx's door, the sounds of laughter and singing letting me know that all the boys were inside. Wanting my entrance to be a surprise, I grabbed hold of the many sweets baskets I made for each member and pushed open their door quietly. I slipped in and hid myself behind a dressing curtain, peeking out from behind it to see what they were up to.

Ken was singing loudly off-key, he and HakYeon swaying to some invisible beat. They only giggled when they others told them to quiet down, HakYeon admonishing them with neck slices if one of them got too mouthy. Ravi watched as Hyuk and HongBin arm wrestled, both boys trying their hardest to win. And then there was Leo. Not my TaekWoon, but the sexy individual who happened to have my husband's face. The dark blue tux jacket showed more than it hid, the bare and smooth expanse of his chest making me roll my eyes heavenward in a plea for mercy.

I had thought seeing TaekWoon with blonde hair had been gorgeous, but his black hair styled into messy waves that covered his face was almost more than I could handle. His position in the room spoke volumes to me about his personality. Close to everyone but sitting alone, he was devouring a gift lunch sponsored by Starlights. I had never been a fan of sushi, but the way he ate the pieces of kimbap and tuna rolls made me question just how good they must be. By the euphoria on his face, I must have been missing out on something.

None of the boys in the room had noticed me yet, their focus switching from playing to the food and each other as they good-humoredly pushed and shoved to try and get the best goodies. Hyuk was reading fan mail out loud to the members, his words muffled by the cookie he'd just shoved into his mouth.

"Jung TaekWoon Oppa, how did you get more handsome than before? Wait for me, from your future bride, Kim YoonMi!"

The boys giggled as TaekWoon looked away, his eyes rolling heavily at the loud guffaws.

"Hyung, are you a cheater? Does Imani noona know you have another bride waiting?" HongBin said slyly, his voice full of mischief. The other members laughed anew and TaekWoon's ears sported a dull red cast.

"Sikkeureowo!" TaekWoon said sharply, his voice rising above his usual whisper. He put aside his food with irritation and reached for his phone behind him on the makeup table, typing on the thin silver device.

I felt a buzz in my pocket and checked it, elated to see that he'd sent me a text.

Where are you? Did you see our stage?

I laughed silently as I debated what to do, curious to see more of the group's interactions, but even more interested in seeing TaekWoon. It had been a week since our kiss, and this was my first time seeing him in person since. FaceTime hasn't done him justice; being so close is letting me see his smallest twitches, those unconscious gestures he makes with his hands and feet whenever he's uncomfortable, the way his eyes squint in irritation and how they squint even harder when he laughs.

He'd told me once that he thought he looked ugly when he smiled but never had a person been more wrong about themselves. Now that the members had pissed him off, Ken began his usual antics, making jokes to get TaekWoon laughing. As he continuously got more ridiculous, I stepped out of my hiding place, too entranced to stay so far away from the man who drew me to him like a magnet.

"Annyeong guys. It's been a while." I smiled in greeting as they looked at me with surprise, all of them shocked except for TaekWoon whom I was happy to see looked ecstatic. Amid their welcomes I handed out the baskets to each member, chock full of candies and sweets from America. Last to get his basket is TaekWoon and I have to force myself to look into his eyes, a mixture of embarrassment and a need to not look at his open jacket warring over which is more important to ignore. My embarrassment loses in the end, and my own gaze is met with his strong one.

"I hope I didn't make you too nervous," I ask him while the other members look on in secret. Their smiling faces show in the mirrors placed everywhere in the room even though they've pointedly looked away and I can tell they're listening to our conversation. But I can't say that I mind too much, my thoughts too full of TaekWoon and all that I've seen today.

"When you're in the audience, I feel me more free and confident on stage than anywhere else." He was giving me an intense look, one that I recognized from his stage performance. Was he really so different, like two people merged into one? Was I finally seeing Leo when all I'd known was TaekWoon? And why was I liking it so much? Shouldn't I be concerned that he could become so different in such a short amount of time? Had it been anyone else, I would've been running for the hills. But whatever the reason, I was drawn towards him even more. I wanted to know everything about him, wanted to know all the parts that he'd hidden from me. Who was he inside?

"Come here. There's something I want to show you."

I laughed quietly to myself, his words sounding decidedly inappropriate when translated to English. Or maybe they weren't so bad but my mind had been in sexual overdrive ever since I'd seen TaekWoon on stage. Only half a day had gone by and I was still having flashbacks of his performance. Suddenly in the middle of grading papers, I would see TaekWoon pushing his sweaty hair from his face, or him biting his lips before he sang a verse. LeShinSet was real and I was living with the cause of my disease.

"No way, I'm busy. I've gotta finish this paperwork."

I had teased him on occasion for acting like a petulant child whose favorite toy had been taken away, and there it was again, the pouting state of his lips that made me all the more eager to kiss them. Like an addict, now that I'd had a taste I wanted more. But today I'd seen much more of TaekWoon's mouth than I had of student's tests and that was bad for business.

"It won't be long," he coaxed again, waving his fingers at me invitingly as I looked up from the papers littering the kitchen table.

"I don't think so. Your few minutes will turn into hours. You have the ability to completely distract me from everything."

"I thought you liked that about me?"

"Well, that part's good," I responded with a smile, "but I do have to do actual work at some point."

He nodded his head slowly in understanding. "Ok."

He was quiet for some minutes after that and I felt myself slowly sinking back into the stack of papers that needed to be graded. So, when I was suddenly lifted out of my chair, I let out a bloodcurdling scream. I clamped my lips shut as I realized Jae slept just down the hall, and I hit TaekWoon on the shoulder for punishment.

"Put me down pabo-yah!" TaekWoon bounced me up into the air once, and I yelped as he walked us to the sofa. He sat down with me still cradled in his arms but I didn't get up, feeling pretty satisfied with where I was.

"You need to take a break. You've been working for hours."

"I know you're right," I sigh pulling my hands through my hair. My hand snarls in one of my curls and TaekWoon laughs as he watches me struggle to pull it loose without snapping the strands.

"You're in a good mood today," I grumble while still struggling with the lock, trying my best not to create a knot.

"You put me in a good mood," he says simply and gently disentangles my fingers from my hair.

"Yeah, yeah... sure I do," I laugh, enjoying the flirtation.

"You do," he says insistently, his voice serious.

I feel the heat fill my face at his words, the warmth coming straight from my heart. I let out a sigh, unable to compete with that kind of sincerity.

"What kind of a distraction did you have in mind?" I ask him coyly, knowing the answer but still excited beyond all reason to see just what he'll do.

To my intense satisfaction, the outwardly cold and aloof mask TaekWoon always shows to the public hides a man of deep passions. When he was with me, he wasn't too shy to do exactly what he felt. He held me closer to him, and I wrapped my arms around his neck to stay comfortable. I played with the short hairs at the back of his head and TaekWoon leaned into my touch. Our gazes locked on to each other and with a slight motion of warning, he moved in for his kiss. First a slight touch to my forehead, then a second of pressure to my nose. And finally, the sweet touch of my lips to his, the warmth of his soft mouth sending a signal to my heart that it was time to start beating erratically.

The press of his lips is softer than I could have imagined and I opened my mouth with a low moan, letting him know that I want more. His tongue licks at the edges of my lips and I open my mouth to allow him access, finally tasting him again. TaekWoon's hands move down over my body, skimming lightly across my shoulders, my arms and then lower down to my ass. He cups me firmly there, and pushes me even closer into him. I feel something hard hit my inner thigh and I gasp when I realize what it is. TaekWoon is rock hard against me and he moves his hips in a circular motion, increasing the friction between our two bodies.

I feel like I'm going to explode as our kisses become more frantic, our tongues and teeth everywhere. Nothing else can be heard but our heavy pants and TaekWoon's mumbled words in Korean that I can't understand. I dig my fingers into his hair as his mouth leaves mine and moves to my neck. His sharp bites are soothed quickly by his tongue, the gentle sucking making my nipples stand at attention. I want more of him, everything that he can give me. And I would've taken it too, if a small voice didn't call out for me.

Like a bucket of ice cold water falling over us, our passions were cooled and we were brought back to reality. The residual burning sensation that TaekWoon's lips have left on my mouth and neck flare to life as I listen again as my child calls out for me, his voice seeming to grow louder. Turning back to look down the hall, I make sure Jae isn't up and seeing us in such a compromising position. Satisfied, I make to get up and TaekWoon lets out a frustrated moan and runs his fingers through his hair in sharp jerks. Feeling bad for him, I pressed a quick kiss to his mouth in apology and go to our son.

While calming JaeHyun down from a bad dream, I can't help my wandering thoughts. What would happen when there were no interruptions, no stopping what we had begun? The thought of that day made my insides squirm with delight, the anticipation feeling like an act of foreplay. Settling back into 'mom' mode, I push my amorous feelings aside for another day, wishing with everything in me that that day was coming soon.