《Crash Into Me || A Seth MacFarlane AU》Chapter Five
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When the morning came, he was still asleep and snoring loudly. They had both managed to get into the same sleeping bag which turned out to be good because it got cold there at night. She looked at him and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek before wiggling out so she could go pee and tend to the fire. By the time she had gotten back from her call of nature, he was awake but still just laying there. No doubt he was in pain from what was going on with his leg. She smiled at him, dumping some more wood onto the fire to build it up more. She picked up one of the coconuts that she'd set nearby and opened it at the top.
"Here, drink, you'll need the potassium." She said as she held it out in his direction. He groaned and forced himself to sit up as he reached out and took it.
"What about this alleged house?" He asked.
"I'll take you there if you think you can make it on foot. I don't think I can carry you." She said, opening a coconut for herself as she sat down close to the fire.
"Give me a few more of those pills and I'm sure I'll be fine." He replied. She laughed softly but nodded and got him two more of the painkillers. They were tiny things but powerful as hell because they were pure oxycodone and nothing else. He took them both, swallowing them down with the coconut water and she took one for herself. She grabbed the bag she had with the fruit inside and placed it between them so they could eat. Then she gathered what she would need to make more rice.
"It's about a twenty minute walk, maybe longer with how your leg is." She told him.
"I'm still convinced that you are hallucinating, no offense."
"None taken and maybe I am. The worst case scenario ends with you getting a blow job so can you really complain that much?" She asked with a laugh, putting on a new pot of clean water to boil so she could add the rice.
"I suppose that will be worth the inconvenience but then I'll have to worry about your mental state."
"True, and since I'm the psychiatrist here it seems like we'd both be fucked." She snorted. He smirked at her and grabbed one of the mangoes from the bag. She picked up the knife that they had with their survival stuff and held it out to him so he could slice it open before she smashed her coconut apart on a rock to eat what was inside.
"Forensic psychiatrist," He said, "What was it again? Sex crimes?"
"Yes,"
"So you profile sexual predators?"
"That's part of the job. I also analyze crime scenes and evidence to help build profiles and interrogate people. I do autopsies, most of the time they aren't for cases I'm working on but I'm one of the people available. I oversee court cases, testify in custody issues, that sort of thing. I don't really see clients as a psychiatrist in a clinical sense though. Not unless they need to be able to judge if someone is competent to stand trial or not." She explained. He nodded and then ate a slice of mango.
"So, in theory, if you wanted to murder someone and then pretend that you were temporarily insane you could pull it off?" He asked.
"In theory, yes, but an insanity plea doesn't just let you walk out of the door. You go to a psychiatric prison and those aren't as easy to get out of as they make it look on television." She said.
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"Yes, but, you'd know all the tricks to get out. How to behave, what to tell them, all of that." He pointed out. She didn't know why he was bringing this up but she couldn't deny that it was kind of an interesting conversation. It wasn't anything she'd thought about too much before because she wasn't a murderer and she'd never thought that even if she did kill someone she'd be trying to plead insanity.
"I guess that's true too but they would also take my occupation into account, or rather, former at that point. I don't think I'd be going back to the FBI after that." She said, "Why does it matter? You want to learn how to plead insanity to get away with murder?"
"Just making conversation." He laughed.
"Interesting choice of conversation." She replied. The rice was finished so she gave it a bit of a stir and grabbed part of her coconut to put it into. The only real utensils they had were sticks but since she was used to using chopsticks it wasn't that much of a problem for her once she'd found two that were of a similar length. Seth, on the other hand, was using his fingers to eat it once it had cooled down. Not that she really cared because she knew in a little while none of this was going to be a problem. They would have running water and soap at that house. They would be okay.
By the time she was finished eating the pill she had taken had kicked in and she was a bit loopy. Not too much to function but enough that the pain was much easier to tolerate and she didn't feel like constantly screaming in agony. She walked over to the river and stripped down again before jumping down into the water and beginning to get herself cleaned off. She watched as Seth slowly got up and stumbled around, looking through what was left of the clothes from the luggage to see if he could find anything. Eventually he settled on a pair of black slacks that he struggled to get on over his injured leg, but once he had them on they looked fine. He sat down after that, apparently not wanting to bother with a shirt.
"Why are you getting cleaned now if there's a house?" He asked.
"I just find the water refreshing." She said, "That and I was waiting for you, didn't want you to feel as if you had to rush on my behalf."
"Oh no, you're going to rush on mine." He said, "I want to see this house." She laughed and pulled herself out of the water onto the bank and reached for one of the beach towels she'd brought out there. She started to dry herself off.
"You ready to walk then?"
"Very ready," He said, not taking his eyes off of her tits. This didn't go unnoticed by her but she didn't say anything about it. There was no real place she expected him to look otherwise when she was topless and he was a male. She grabbed the sundress she'd been wearing before and pulled it on so she could cover up and walked over to him, holding out her hand. He took it and with a bit of a struggle got to his feet. She grabbed both of the canteens of clean water for them and held one out to him.
"Come on," She said, "The path is this way, it's hard to see at first but it clears up after about five hundred yards. Kind of." Then she leaned down and picked up one of the backpacks that they would probably need. It had the antibiotics, painkillers, and other general first aid and toiletries that would probably end up being useful.
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"Lead the way then." He said, motioning for her to go ahead of him. She found the path that she had taken before and started to walk it. The first part was pretty easy because it was downhill so there wasn't much straining on his legs to walk. It started to get much harder once they had to go uphill and she could hear him grunting and muttering about his leg. "How much further?"
"You'll be able to see it from the top of this hill and then it's all down again." She said, looking over her shoulder. She was exhausted already too, but mostly because she hadn't been eating super well and was probably dehydrated. He was in far worse condition than she was, which was why she had carried a bag with them and not asked for him to carry more than just his water.
"I'm not going to make it just...let me die here by this tree but blow me first." He panted, putting his hand against a nearby tree to lean against heavily. She laughed and opened her canteen then took a few gulps of water.
"Drink more, rest for a bit. There's no real hurry." She said coming over to the tree to lean against it with him. He looked at her and then took a few gulps of water. She reached out and put her hands on his cheeks then his forehead. He was burning up. She couldn't imagine how uncomfortable he had to be but somehow, amazingly, he was holding it together far more than she believed a pretty boy Hollywood type of his stature would be able to hold it together. Part of her had thought a man like him would need an assistant to do everything and he'd be nothing but a diva but she had been very wrong about that.
"How bad is it?" He asked softly.
"What?"
"The fever."
"Not going to lie, you are much hotter than I'd like for you to be but there are several elements that are definitely increasing that so it's probably not just the fever." She said, putting a gentle hand on his arm. "Once we get to the house it'll be cooler. There are fans and-"
"What makes you think there's going to be electricity at all?" He asked.
"Solar panels, on the top of the house. Most of them are clear and not broken, there's gotta be a way to make them work." She said.
"I'll leave that to you because I don't have the first clue." He said. She smiled, because she didn't really have a clue either. If it wasn't as simple as checking some wires and flipping a few switches they wouldn't get power but she hadn't looked into it yet so she didn't know. Either way, she was physically in a better condition to at least try to mess around with the electricity they possibly could have, he wasn't. "Come on, let's go."
"Are you sure?"
"No, but I think the longer I rest the more I won't want to keep going." He said. She nodded, that made sense to her. She wrapped an arm around him and let him lean heavily into her as they continued walking. This slowed the process considerably but it also took a lot more pressure off of his leg which would be better for him in the long run. As soon as they reached the top of the hill they saw the house again. She smiled and looked over at him.
"Told you." She said.
"You got lucky. How the fuck is this...this isn't possible." He said, shaking his head. He broke away from her and started to make his way down the hill, faster than she thought he should have been able to move by that point. She called after him to slow down and wait up but if he even heard her, he wasn't listening to it. He got to the front door well before she did and she had to run to catch up to him. He stopped walking once he'd gotten a few feet into the house and she nearly ran into him, as she hadn't expected him to stop right there in the foyer.
"Next time you intend to do something like that please warn me." She panted, out of breath. He looked at her but didn't say anything as he grabbed onto his bad leg and limped more into the house. She followed him into a living room area that had a couch, some chairs, a coffee table, and a very old TV complete with a VCR on top. She quickly tore off the plastic sheeting that was covering the couch and he sat down on it heavily.
"This is amazing, it's like an 80s time capsule." He said, and he wasn't wrong. Given the date on the notice she found along with the decor that would have been around the time that this place would have been built and then inhabited. Mid to late 80s and then early 90s. It was bringing up waves of nostalgia for her as well. They weren't too far apart in their ages so they both would have fond memories of those eras. "Shit...if only there was a working phone or something."
"True," She said, sitting down next to him for a moment to catch her breath. He went to drink some more water as she glanced around the place. "It's shelter, though, and furniture for now. I haven't even looked upstairs but I'm betting there's at least a bed."
"Fuck I hope it's a waterbed." He laughed.
"With how this place looks I'd be surprised if it wasn't a waterbed." She laughed as well. He reached out and put an arm around her, pulling her in close to him before he took another gulp of water from his canteen. For that moment they rested together to try to get their energy back. She knew that it wouldn't be long before she would have to start poking around to figure things out but being there with him felt almost like paradise, even if it had happened under the most bizarre of circumstances.
*****
After Seth had fallen asleep on the couch, she got up to check the rest of the house out. Upstairs she found two bedrooms, one looked like the master bedroom as it was the largest with the biggest bed. He hadn't been wrong about it being a waterbed either. This was a good thing because there was no mattress there. It was just plastic. That would make it more clean to lay on than if there had been a mattress. The second room was smaller and seemed like a guest room but it also had a waterbed. In one of the closets in the hallway she was able to find sheets. Some that were even in their original packaging, though some weren't. She tore open the new ones and went to make up the bed in the larger room.
It was a nice little retreat out there and the room that she had chosen to fix up just reeked of 80s decor and a nostalgic feeling that she could very much appreciate. Seth was older than her so he'd probably get more of a kick out of it than she did but she didn't want to wake him just yet. Not with all the energy it had taken him just to get to the house. The room had a TV and a VCR in there as well as a very old Nintendo system. In a shelf that was built into the wall by the door were tons of VHS tapes. Some of them were warped with time, weather, and heat, and some seemed like they might still work if the VCR and TV did. This prompted her to start checking the house out to see about the solar panels.
She went to every door in every room on the second floor and first until she found what looked like a basement. That was the last place she would have to check for anything resembling a fusebox. It was dark in there, the only light was coming in through slits in the walls that had small glass block windows installed in them. There were shelves and shelves of supplies here too. Most of it looked like MREs, which was great for them. As old as they were, there would be a lot they could still eat as long as it was properly vacuumed sealed. She'd just have to check them first.
She also found a shelf of weapons, ammo, and medical equipment. There was a lot of medication there, legal and otherwise not, but none of it was really going to be that helpful considering how old it was. The rest of the stuff could definitely be used by them. She grabbed a flashlight and looked at it, dusting it off before realizing it was one with a crank in the side to wind up and get light. She started to wind it as best she could as she looked around the rest of the basement. Eventually, she got to a box on the wall that had a lightning bolt sticker and indicated power. It wasn't locked shut and when she opened it she saw a switch that said reserve power and off as well as one that said electricity gauge. The switch was flipped to off, but something in her wondered if there was a battery that had maybe stored power for all of this time. It was worth a shot. She shoved the switch up into the position. At first nothing happened, but then the house shuddered and things started to hum. A lightbulb flickered on in the basement very dimly for just a moment before popping and going out, but that meant they had power.
"Holy shit," She muttered. There was no telling how long this would work or last, but it would be nice to have even if it was just a few hours. She grabbed a bag of rice, some powdered drink mix and coffee then hurried up to the kitchen. From there she could see Seth on the couch. The fan above him was running at full speed even if it was also creaking and shaking a bit.
"The hell is going on here?" He muttered, "Did we just get power?" It was hard to tell if he was just talking to himself or he was talking to her. She set the stuff she'd grabbed down on the kitchen counter and walked over to the couch.
"I think we have power, possibly even air conditioning. There's solar panels on the top of the house and there appears to have been some kind of battery reserve." She said, "I flipped the switch and it just...came on."
"Seriously?" He asked, "Nice."
"I'm going to make us some food. I put new sheets on the bed upstairs it might be nicer there. You were right about waterbeds." She laughed, "I haven't seen one in decades."
"For real?" He laughed and slowly got up, shaky on his feet because the medications were still making him a bit loopy. "I have to see this."
"Oh you're going to love it in there. I'll bring up some food in a minute." She said. He grinned stupidly, and headed towards the stairs. Even though all of this was extremely lucky for them, it wasn't out of the realm of possibility. Judging by all the supplies in the basement her best guess about how the house came into existence was some eccentric millionaire survival prep enthusiast. It would have been during the middle of the cold war and also during a huge tech boom. Someone that paranoid might have gotten their own island and financed a nice isolated hideaway in case the world had gone to hell. The only problem was that it hadn't so the investment became a money pit and was eventually abandoned. Seemed like they couldn't even sell it off to someone else, which wasn't surprising.
She cooked some rice and made coffee, which was still good since it had been in a sealed canister. It wasn't fresh, it was those freeze dried crystal things but she'd missed coffee the most over the past few days and it was definitely better than nothing. After searching through the kitchen she found a wooden tray to put the bowls of food on and some silverware, then she picked everything up to carry it upstairs to the bedroom. When she got in there she didn't see Seth. She set the tray of food down on the bedside table and looked around.
"Seth?" She called.
"In here!" He called, still upstairs but his voice across from where she was in another room. She followed it to find him in a lounge with a pool table, bar, and tons of booze. "Most of this isn't even open and it's still good it wasn't in direct sunlight."
"Are you kidding me? You aren't adding booze on top of the pills you are on. No way." She said hurrying over to him. He slipped past her, more easily than she liked, and opened the bottle of scotch he was holding.
"Come on, one drink...just one. You can't tell me you don't want one either." He said and took a gulp from the bottle. "Fuck this is some good scotch."
"I do want a drink but as a medical professional-"
"We could die here either way you know." He said and took another drink, "No matter what we do we could just die. Run out of food or get caught in a typhoon or...something. Live a little." He held the bottle out towards her. She sighed and took it then took a gulp, despite the fact that she absolutely hated scotch. He kind of had a point but she didn't really agree with it.
"Just because we could die, doesn't mean we shouldn't also maximize our chances of survival." She told him, "Now, go lay down and have some food. I brought it upstairs and I made coffee."
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