《Ancient's Smashing Reviews》Asphalt Knight: Ignition by @Project_Velocity
Advertisement
GOTTA GO FAST! The Smashing needs me!
Today I took the time to speed through Asphalt Knight: Ignition by .
TLDR; Fast and Furious 2065 (Year or sequence in franchise? Yes.)
Grammar and Word Usage: VROOM! - Typically I don't start with this, but this is the single most defining aspect of the series. (This is supposed to be a series.) The grammar had minor issues from time to time, but not so bad I couldn't easily tell what he was trying to say. Feels like a second draft. It is a little weird how he expresses texting and visual signs into the written paragraph, but if you pay attention its workable.
But what really makes it stand out is the overall word usage. Its not what I would qualify as plot or world building. No those things I will get to later. Rather the word usage. The choices of nouns, verbs, adjectives, and supporting text is what defines the story as every word, in some way, is proactive, energetic, and supports an overall atmosphere of an action-packed scene of high speed cars going down the street at various speeds ranging from fast to GOTTA GO FAST, while also sounding strategic as the characters make choices of how to use the car in the most efficent way. This is not poetry in the form that poetry tends to be contemplative. This is poetry in motion as action, as mind-numbing, drooling, mental eye-candy. Every sentence is crisp and sharpened. Every word is at once, basic enough to understand as a non-car person, but also intelligent enough to make me feel like I am a car person all of a sudden. I received an education and didn't even know it! I have known the writer long enough to know he knows a thing or two about cars and racing, and it shows as this story is pure adrenaline pumping through its veins.
Advertisement
If anything, I think everything else is just an excuse. If you took out all the characters, the world building, the plot... you would still have a purely solid action scene of mind-numbing eye-candy and adrenaline.
Characters: Better than the sum of the whole - Individually the characters are not that interesting. Granted, they fit their role fine. The father figure is relatable and tries his best. The best friend is funny. The male MC has a bit of depth inside but on the outside just wants to play it a bit safe, albeit treating himself to some crazy moments to stave off depression, at least in how I see him. Albeit he lacks several things to be a strong MC. The female MC never has the PoV but her constant presence and actions show enough that she is an adrenaline junkie and likely has a screw loose. Individually they are fine, and not much more than that. However the characterization still works great because the two MCs, the male and female, are twins. They never have a scene apart. Their energies are conflicting in every scene. Their teamwork is flawless, and in the same way, they bring out a "character" by their combined presence greater than each other. The sister is grounded by the brother and the brother is brought out to take risks by the sister. they bend and stretch as both individuals and as a team and argue like a married couple. And I love this. They need each other as individually they are not complete people, and together they are an absolute blast of ying and yang.
World Building: Telling over showing - The world building is at once both good and bad. Negatively, it is almost all done by telling me about it. Which is tedious. The method in which it is told is almost painful. I can understand one information dump, but there are many. There is probably only... two sets of world building done through showing over telling. The first being the villains entrance and interaction with the guard (which only made him all the better), and the second being how cars work and racing in a strategic high-level mindset. (Besides the glossary.)
Advertisement
Now, to be fair, when you are making a world, there is going to be information dumping in some way. I am guilty of this myself. So the ultimate merit of world building comes down to relevance, which is where it gets good.
Everything is relevant. Every bit of world building comes into play at some point. Whether it gives the characters actions more importance in the overall scope of things, an understanding of where things are going and their role in the world's systems at work, or even just the understanding of how flammable corn is. Or how cars work and the strategic value of something as small as loosening your pinkie-toe on a brake by 1/4. Every bit of info comes into play whether directly as immediate plot, indirectly as teasing later plot, or to create a dystopian and depressing atmosphere in the world, to which establishes understanding of WHY some people like to break free and go fast on a psychological level.
Plot: Solid start - The plot is not deep. It is simple really. Any depth is found in the world building and word usage. However, considering, I think this is exactly needed. The world feels better rooted despite a complex world due to the very fact that the characters are simple and easy to grasp, and the plot also isn't deep. It is smooth and easy to understand, makes sense within the larger scope, has a few hinted mysteries that will prove interesting later, and hits emotional resonance necessary to transition from phase to phase. The story is not stupid like Fast and Furious, as the movies make huge leaps in logic. This story doesn't take leaps in logic, but roots itself in basic humanity and actions that... really anyone would do in their position and with their talents. It doesn't overreach, nor does it play it safe and boring. To that end it establishes a solid foundation for a series, exactly what it should be doing.
However, at the same time, it only feels like the beginning of something bigger. Whether you consider the plot good or bad depends on the scale of mind you put into it. If you take this story as a complete stand-alone, it is good, gripping, but lacks resolution of any kind despite the ending hitting you with one hell of a cliff-hanger! On the other hand if you consider this story as merely the start of something bigger, than its cliff-hanger becomes a positive thing making you thirst for more after providing a solid foundation on which to establish a larger series to.
Overall I would rate this 3 smashing out of 5, currently. It really depends. If you take this as the beginning of something, then the rating would be 4/5. As a stand-alone it would be 3/5 purely because the amount of time spent to world-building would be to the stories detriment, as well as hinted-at characters that dont play a role, yet. Keyword: Yet.
I really look forward to where this is going. This would easily be worthy of a movie in its own right.
I'm out with a smashing!
If you are interested in learning to write, mastering the craft, want some really good reads, or just to chat and hang out with a mature group of adults, feel free to hit me up for a smashing discord book club that has lasted years.
Advertisement
- In Serial134 Chapters
Solo Player Arvin
Arvin was a genius back on earth. With eidetic memory, he was able to enter college at the age of 15 and could have become one the greatest genius on earth after graduating college…
8 1893 - In Serial22 Chapters
The Echelon Tower
Our MC is one the people that were able to quickly get their hands on the newest VR technology, the Phantasm. However, the headset turned out to be a trap which teleported all of humanity to a different world! Jonathan now has to survive in a place were death is the only thing that will keep you company for long. He will have to battle through the ruthlessness of men and the viciousness of nature as he discovers the secrets within his body... AUTHOR'S NOTE: I am intending to rewritte the entire story since I am not satisfied with what I have outpouted. Sorry for the low quality. Volume 1: Blood Settlment Volume 2: Azin Seighart (Unreleased) Volume 3: Joining the Echelon (Unreleased)
8 79 - In Serial13 Chapters
Beyond Limitations
Thousands of years in the future humanity has spread it's wings and influence across the galaxy. Wars over conquest, power and survival take place in hundreds of places far from Earth. Roy Stormbreaker, a young orphan who just turned eighteen was accepted into the Galactic Union of Nation, or G.U.N. for short. He's on his way towards the stars and leaving his home behind, hoping to find something better than what is left behind. But what waits for him hidden amongst the stars is more than the innocent adventures he had dreamed of. Instead, all he finds is violence and the more he runs away from it, the faster it pursues him. Between system consuming biological creatures that are under the control of Swarm Lords, rival galactic powers that fear the rise of mankind, harnessing magic long thought as dark energy and ancient influences, Roy must keep his head above water. But even that might be too much. Sex and relationships will be taken with a mature approach, depending on the characters. Basically, no harems. Chapters are released every Sunday, around 6:00 Central Time.
8 246 - In Serial48 Chapters
System Dilemma
Was life ever so simple ? Is anything free in this world ? Jason hated his monotonous life. Wake up, dismantle things, Go to sleep. Rinse and repeat. His starting cards weren't great to begin with, and he made some questionable decisions. The system he got was bugged too! It didn't interpret most of his orders correctly, but he got the [Shop] feature to compensate for the problem. He kept on grinding everyday, till he got an opporunity. A chance, to do everything again. --------- Author's note: -Chapters will be updated on a daily basis. I am also posting this on Scribblehub:https://www.scribblehub.com/series/523856/system-dilemma
8 495 - In Serial60 Chapters
The lonely wolf [bxb]
Elias Emerson's life took a drastic turn after he shifted into his wolf. Not knowing what to do, he ran after he was banished from his pack. How will Elias survive from now on and what's going to happen to him? Ryker green is the alpha of one of the strongest and most feared pack in the US. His reputation of killing anyone who dares to challenge him was known worldwide, making everyone afraid of him. He doesn't have a mate, but that's the least of his problems because he didn't want one. Find out more on their journey....All rights reserved....Written by: princessjody....Follow me for more chapters on the way....
8 305 - In Serial12 Chapters
GinMado - Love Can Hurt
Hi!^^This is my second story so...I hope it will be good!After the battle with Nemesis, Madoka is with Aleksei...And that hurts someone...A lot!I do not own Beyblade Metal Fight or its characters,only plot and the idea belongs to me ^^Enjoy! :)edit: I'm editing this rn because my grammar sucked back then and it's horrible, I'm ashamed of it. however, if you still can read it without cringing, go ahead fellow reader.
8 73

