《Ancient's Smashing Reviews》Asphalt Knight: Ignition by @Project_Velocity
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GOTTA GO FAST! The Smashing needs me!
Today I took the time to speed through Asphalt Knight: Ignition by .
TLDR; Fast and Furious 2065 (Year or sequence in franchise? Yes.)
Grammar and Word Usage: VROOM! - Typically I don't start with this, but this is the single most defining aspect of the series. (This is supposed to be a series.) The grammar had minor issues from time to time, but not so bad I couldn't easily tell what he was trying to say. Feels like a second draft. It is a little weird how he expresses texting and visual signs into the written paragraph, but if you pay attention its workable.
But what really makes it stand out is the overall word usage. Its not what I would qualify as plot or world building. No those things I will get to later. Rather the word usage. The choices of nouns, verbs, adjectives, and supporting text is what defines the story as every word, in some way, is proactive, energetic, and supports an overall atmosphere of an action-packed scene of high speed cars going down the street at various speeds ranging from fast to GOTTA GO FAST, while also sounding strategic as the characters make choices of how to use the car in the most efficent way. This is not poetry in the form that poetry tends to be contemplative. This is poetry in motion as action, as mind-numbing, drooling, mental eye-candy. Every sentence is crisp and sharpened. Every word is at once, basic enough to understand as a non-car person, but also intelligent enough to make me feel like I am a car person all of a sudden. I received an education and didn't even know it! I have known the writer long enough to know he knows a thing or two about cars and racing, and it shows as this story is pure adrenaline pumping through its veins.
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If anything, I think everything else is just an excuse. If you took out all the characters, the world building, the plot... you would still have a purely solid action scene of mind-numbing eye-candy and adrenaline.
Characters: Better than the sum of the whole - Individually the characters are not that interesting. Granted, they fit their role fine. The father figure is relatable and tries his best. The best friend is funny. The male MC has a bit of depth inside but on the outside just wants to play it a bit safe, albeit treating himself to some crazy moments to stave off depression, at least in how I see him. Albeit he lacks several things to be a strong MC. The female MC never has the PoV but her constant presence and actions show enough that she is an adrenaline junkie and likely has a screw loose. Individually they are fine, and not much more than that. However the characterization still works great because the two MCs, the male and female, are twins. They never have a scene apart. Their energies are conflicting in every scene. Their teamwork is flawless, and in the same way, they bring out a "character" by their combined presence greater than each other. The sister is grounded by the brother and the brother is brought out to take risks by the sister. they bend and stretch as both individuals and as a team and argue like a married couple. And I love this. They need each other as individually they are not complete people, and together they are an absolute blast of ying and yang.
World Building: Telling over showing - The world building is at once both good and bad. Negatively, it is almost all done by telling me about it. Which is tedious. The method in which it is told is almost painful. I can understand one information dump, but there are many. There is probably only... two sets of world building done through showing over telling. The first being the villains entrance and interaction with the guard (which only made him all the better), and the second being how cars work and racing in a strategic high-level mindset. (Besides the glossary.)
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Now, to be fair, when you are making a world, there is going to be information dumping in some way. I am guilty of this myself. So the ultimate merit of world building comes down to relevance, which is where it gets good.
Everything is relevant. Every bit of world building comes into play at some point. Whether it gives the characters actions more importance in the overall scope of things, an understanding of where things are going and their role in the world's systems at work, or even just the understanding of how flammable corn is. Or how cars work and the strategic value of something as small as loosening your pinkie-toe on a brake by 1/4. Every bit of info comes into play whether directly as immediate plot, indirectly as teasing later plot, or to create a dystopian and depressing atmosphere in the world, to which establishes understanding of WHY some people like to break free and go fast on a psychological level.
Plot: Solid start - The plot is not deep. It is simple really. Any depth is found in the world building and word usage. However, considering, I think this is exactly needed. The world feels better rooted despite a complex world due to the very fact that the characters are simple and easy to grasp, and the plot also isn't deep. It is smooth and easy to understand, makes sense within the larger scope, has a few hinted mysteries that will prove interesting later, and hits emotional resonance necessary to transition from phase to phase. The story is not stupid like Fast and Furious, as the movies make huge leaps in logic. This story doesn't take leaps in logic, but roots itself in basic humanity and actions that... really anyone would do in their position and with their talents. It doesn't overreach, nor does it play it safe and boring. To that end it establishes a solid foundation for a series, exactly what it should be doing.
However, at the same time, it only feels like the beginning of something bigger. Whether you consider the plot good or bad depends on the scale of mind you put into it. If you take this story as a complete stand-alone, it is good, gripping, but lacks resolution of any kind despite the ending hitting you with one hell of a cliff-hanger! On the other hand if you consider this story as merely the start of something bigger, than its cliff-hanger becomes a positive thing making you thirst for more after providing a solid foundation on which to establish a larger series to.
Overall I would rate this 3 smashing out of 5, currently. It really depends. If you take this as the beginning of something, then the rating would be 4/5. As a stand-alone it would be 3/5 purely because the amount of time spent to world-building would be to the stories detriment, as well as hinted-at characters that dont play a role, yet. Keyword: Yet.
I really look forward to where this is going. This would easily be worthy of a movie in its own right.
I'm out with a smashing!
If you are interested in learning to write, mastering the craft, want some really good reads, or just to chat and hang out with a mature group of adults, feel free to hit me up for a smashing discord book club that has lasted years.
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Welcome to Anarchy: A BNHA (MHA) Fanfic
'I've already experienced one omnipotent being flinging me from one Universe to another...I didn't need another one to destroy what I had just achieved and fling me off into the next' Charlotte Syrup, former Sweet Commander of the Big Mom Pirates, flung into the world of My Hero Academia with no clue what anything is. Quirks? Heroes? Buttcheek clenching superpower? The only thing that comforts me is the fact that this does remind me of 'Earth'...right? Watch as the Overpowered Pirate and her love Portugas D. Ace wreck havoc across the world of heroes and villains. Loser: 'You've got to choose a side!' Heroes or Villains? Me: Well, we're Pirates so...fuck you both Loser 2: What kind of Pirate owns a megacorporation?? Me: My bad...*cough* We're filthy rich Pirates. Wanna sign up? Welcome to the Charlotte Group. Take advantage of a racist world? Check. Take advantage of the oppressive laws people are under? Check. Take advantage of quirks? Triple Check. Still hate governments? Absolutely A story about the conflict between the ideals Peace and Justice against Freedom and Privacy. The realization of the impossibility of Total freedom and the lengths she goes to see it done. Just add massive explosions, lots of swearing, and comedy to the mix. This will be a 2 Part story. First part: PARADISE (A.N): If someone sends me a better title, I will use that. Deal is still up as well :D) Disclaimers: It is to my great displeasure and sadness that I do not own One Piece or My Hero Academia. Hints of Undertale as well...I don't own that either. That is just really really sad. Nor do I own the cover art...but it's pretty close to how I envision Syrup in her late teen years :) On the flip side, I do own Charlotte Syrup, my OC and a couple more extras in the story. Note: This is the sequel to 'Welcome to the Charlotte Family' but while it is recommended to read it before, it is not needed. Separate Universe, different characters and story. But remember, heavily OP MC! But I try to keep it interesting. Give it a try and enjoy!
8 231Everlasting Struggle
Life is an endless battle. A battle for a better life.A battle for maintaining happiness.A battle for peace. Shin's a 12-year old youth, fighting since the moment he was born for a better life. Dreaming and wishing for a happy life, but he can't see himself in that kind of position. Shin's looking at the empty dark sky, breathing his last breaths, still dreaming and wishing for a better life.
8 142The Misfits
Five former US army Rangers find themselves set on the path of adventure after they accept a contract from an anonymous organization to protect a group of archaeologists and scientists from harm in their quest to excavate a ruin deep in the jungles of South America. Once they reach the jungles however they find it's not your average security job, but rather a quest to save the world from an organization that wishes to conquer the world, and rule as kings and queens. To stop this evil group the five friends must work together with the group of researchers and their team to reach the ruins of the fabled city of gold which is said to house a weapon or tool able to destroy entire nations... Stuck between two unknown organizations, the five friends must do what they must with so little intel.
8 129The Invasion
The coasts have always been peaceful, until the waters revolt against the land.In 2047, long-term marine pollution has altered the genetics of aquatic organisms, turning them into bloodthirsty monsters. The Loch Ness, the Krakens... these mythical beings have become a reality. They leave the seas one day to ravage the land and prey on humans.Delia's a normal high schooler, until she witnesses the death of her schoolmates, and finds herself thrown into a world of bloodshed and terror. While escaping from the creatures, she finds herself stuck in a shelter full of strangers. But how long can they stay safe before danger comes knocking on their door? Delia faces troubles at every turn and soon realizes that she can't hide her deepest secret forever, especially after a creature saves her. How long can she fight for her survival as she watches the world perish before her eyes?(Content Warning: The story contains some gore, suicide, violence and dark themes.)Copyright © 2021-2022 by Kim_Knights===========================================Highest ranking: #6 in Teen Fiction#3 in Horror#46 in Romance===========================================(Current word count: 70,000 - 80,000 )
8 212Natalie
Born as the youngest into a family of above average intelligence, everything about her mediocre. A puzzle to her parents, her three older siblings all brilliant with high gradings, and then there is Natalie, still loved, but an embarrassment. Natalie aware of her parents and siblings feelings, brushes everything aside in her excitement at finely being old enough to join the virtual reality worlds. Where she hopes to fine something that will set her apart from the average label she now wears. this is my first time writing I hope you enjoy the story and please let me know in the comments your reviews.
8 204Poems
Some of these I had to write for class, others not so much, but I wanted to share them with you. Any criticism is appreciated!! No matter how bad it is.#1 messingaround: May 19, 2019, Sept. 3, 2019-Sept. 17, 2019#29 empty: November 13, 2020#90 confidence: August 1, 2019#1 findingpurpose: May 27, 2020
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