(Will's POV)

After school I wait for Nico. Hopefully he'll come.

I wish I would know how to act around him. What he thinks. How he actually feels, behind this all.

All the students walk by, until I'm alone, so obviously he decided just to leave. I'm half sad, half glad and also kinda angry, when I suddenly hear a voice behind me 'So.'

I turn around and there's Nico, all in the shadows, for who knows how long.

'How long do you - anyway.'

We walk side by side until we pass a bench in a completely empty park, where we sit down.

Well, I sit down, Nico walks on 'Hey, where are you going?'

'This was a stupid idea, I should stay away from you.' He doesn't even turn around.

'Please wait a moment. I just - want to tell you some things and - see, I'm sorry.'

He sighs, but at least he stops walking away and looks at me now.

'For what?'

'Leaving you. Everything.'

'I moved. You didn't leave me.' he doesn't even sound angry, but I wish he would, somehow it would be easier this way, if he would yell at me instead of standing there, biting his lip and glancing on the ground.

'I stopped talking to you when you needed me the most.'

'I didn't need you.'

'You said you were miserable.' and he was so sad. And so lonely. And I made it even worse.

'Yes, but I got out of this all on my own! I do not need you.' now Nico starts to sound angry. But not at me, more at the world, at himself.

'Are you happy?' not that I really wanted to know the answer. Not that I couldn't think of it.

He thinks about this for a moment, looking sadder now, nearly lost 'Happier.'

We both keep quiet for a moment. I want to hug him so bad. Tell him things will be alright again, that he isn't alone anymore, but he'll never let me.

'That's not the same.'

'Anyway. I won.'

I nearly laugh. Like this would be a game 'Won what?'

'Life. I'm alive. So I won.'

'That's not how it works.'

'That's exactly how it works. I didn't die, so I didn't lose. Conclusion: I won.' his voice sounds like he would fight me if I'd doubt that he won, but it's also shaky. 'Don't act like you would know anything about how to play life Solace!'

'Will.' It shouldn't hurt that much - that he acts like I would be a stranger. Unfortunately it does. This whole talk does.

'Whatever.'

'Did you ever thought about it?' my voice shakes too. Damn it, why can't I just have a normal talk with him? How could I even leave him like that?

'What?'

'You know... being dead.'

'You can call things by their name, it's not that hard.'

Angry. Why is his voice so angry? I wanted him to be angry, but not like this, not so quite, so shaking, like it would be to painful not to be angry.

'When it's about losing a friend it is.'

'We're not friends.' It shouldn't hurt. We haven't seen each other in years, it shouldn't hurt!

'But we were back then. I was always afraid of this, you know? That I would write you again and you would never answer... because you killed yourself. So, did you think about it?'

'Don't be stupid, of course I did. My life was, how did you say? 'Miserable''

'But you didn't. Even everyone left you.'

'I said I won.'

'How?'

'None of your business.'

'Sorry.'

'By the way, don't talk to me anymore.'

'What?'

'You understood what I said. See, I'm sure you're nice and all, but that's one more reason to stay away from me. I'm not good at friendship stuff. Or with people at all. Just don't talk to me. Leave me alone, find friends, go your way.'

'It was you and me against the world.'

'That's over five years ago Will. Now it's 'somehow survive the world''

Nico sounds so bitter. But he obviously does spend time with people. The whole school has a crush on him, he won't just get there with being grumpy.

'And if it wouldn't be about friendship?'

'What? No. No, really.'

'Okay, though. Why?'

'Because, damn, not you.'

'Everyone else?'

'No! You - just shut up!'

'I'm sorry.'

'No! Hell, stop talking! Stop trying to be nice, don't ever say that you're sorry again! Just leave me alone, at least you're good at that!' if there would have been people in the park they would have looked at us because Nico was yelling so loud, but there was no one, so I was all alone after Nico run of.

I started to cry silently. Probably I didn't deserve better, he was right with what he said for sure.

I should have never left him.

And I wouldn't make this mistake again.