A/N: YES I KNOW THIS IS SO LONG BUT I LOVE KARREN SM

THIS CONTAINS SOME SPOILERS FROM TG:RE CHAPTER 52 AND 57!!

Also: I am aware that I'm referencing her as a 'he' for most of the oneshot, but since the reader's oblivious to her true gender, I decided to use male pronouns until the reader finds out.

"So what are you going to do now, (Y/N)?" You glanced at your big sister, conflicted.

"I don't know." You answered truthfully. "There's nothing we can do about Shuu now, is there, Chie?"

You glanced back at the tower where the two of you met up with the broken man. You felt horrible about this whole thing. Kaneki's death was taking a toll on a lot of people.

You felt heartbroken, of course, but you decided that you'd let those feelings out later, when you were alone.

Since Tsukiyama had introduced you to the sweet boy, you had noticed how the purple haired man seemed so attached to him. Yes, he said it was because he smelled and tasted delicious, but you could see that beneath all that ghoul talk, Kaneki was indeed Shuu's friend. And a friend of Shuu is someone you'll respect as long as they live.

"I don't think Kaneki's dead. The doves probably kept him." Your sister said out of the blue, aiming her camera at a nearby tree. "You should get in the CCG, sis. It'd be funny if I was right, no?"

You stopped walking to look at her. She was so frighteningly chill about a subject like this, you found yourself wondering if she was completely sane more than you'd like to admit. "You want me to risk so much just to see if your guess was right?"

"What would you be risking?" She shrugged.

"Uh, the Tsukiyama family's trust, for one." You said, in a 'duh' tone. "If the CCG does enough background checks, there's no way they wouldn't find something fishy about us!"

"What background?" She asked. Your shoulders fell.

She was right, in a way. There wasn't must info on Chie, much less on yourself. Sure, the two of you were good friends of the Tsukiyama family, but with the lack of contact with the rest of the world, no one really knew except for the two of you.

"I wouldn't mind if you went with them." Chie said. "I won't miss you that much anyway. Less trouble for me."

"Yeah, but I wouldn't be able to be there for Shuu... The servants'll have a lot of trouble, I can feel it."

"Can't believe you care more about leaving him than me." She pouted, and started walking once more. You followed her, silent. Once you had caught up with her, she spoke up once more. "It's not really Tsukiyama you'll miss, is it?"

You looked away, shame eating you up. "Of course I'll miss Shuu..." You said, staring at the ground. "But I guess I'll miss Matsumae too, and Aliza, and... And Kanae-"

"I think he likes you too, (Y/N). I hear your name a lot when he randomly speaks German."

"Can you understand German, Chie?"

"What kind of question is that?" She grimaced. "Of course not."

"Then he might as well be muttering about how I'm human trash, no one would know."

"We could ask the rose he always carries around." You gave your sister a glare before giggling. "Yeah, right."

"But really, (Y/N)." Her serious tone threw you off. "I heard they're taking just about anyone for these QS projects. Who knows, maybe you'd be compatible? Besides, with that much more RC cells in your body and a red and black eye, maybe you'll get along even better with Kanae."

"...I'll think about it."

"I knew you'd say that."

"But it isn't for Kanae! It's for Kaneki and Shuu!"

"You can't fool your big sis, (Y/N)."

••••

"Yeah, I'll give you what I've got on Torso, but it's gonna cost something." Chie said between mouthfuls of ice cream. You rolled your eyes.

She sees me for the first time in MONTHS and I don't even get a 'hello'? You thought.

Shirazu sighed, and you gave Urie a side glance. He seemed as chill as ever.

"What do you want?" You asked your sister.

"Nothing much. Just something that belonged to Haise Sasaki."

You eyed her suspiciously. This was for Shuu, wasn't it?

"Oh, and a really good picture of (Y/N). Like, something poetic I think?"

Shirazu looked at you before craning an eyebrow. "What's the big deal with Sassan and (Y/N)? You got a thing for them or something?"

Is Shuu getting that bad? That he misses me too? You asked yourself.

Chie shrugged. "I just want a good picture to remember her by when she dies, that's all." Either she forgot about Haise or just decided to ignore that part.

By now, even Urie was visibly intrigued.

You smirked. "You really have no faith in me, do you, sis? I'm not gonna die that easily."

Shirazu nearly jumped out of his seat. "That's your sister?! The two of you look nothing alike! How much is the age gap?!"

"I'm just a couple years younger, relax."

"Staying on subject," Urie interrupted. "What do you need from Sasaki, specifically?"

"Uhm..." Chie thought. "Something he wore, ideally."

"Like... Underwear?" You stifled a laugh. You couldn't wait to watch the two boys try to steal Haise's underwear.

"That'd be perfect!" Chie nodded. "Oh, and pictures of (Y/N) too."

"Aren't you a photographer? You should have pictures of your own sister, right?" Shirazu asked.

"I never found her interesting enough." Chie said, making you glare at her.

"What ever. We'll get them as soon as possible." You muttered, and got up from the table, ushering your two colleagues out. Before you closed the door, a thought popped up and you stopped in your tracks. Urie glared at you and Shirazu gave you a questioning look.

"I've gotta talk some things out with Chie. You guys can go ahead. I'll be fine!" With that, you went back in and closed the door.

"You didn't even miss me?" You asked, settling back in the booth.

"Someone did all the missing for me." She answered.

"Speaking of, how is he?"

"Eh, he still doesn't like me. And he speaks to those roses more often because you're not there to 'keep a worthy conversation' with him. I told you he liked you too."

You sighed and nearly banged your head on the table due to your sister's stubbornness. "I'm talking about Shuu, Chie! Shuu!"

"Oh. I don't know, but Kanae doesn't seem very happy when ever I mention him. I don't think he's doing so well, but I never got to see him. They won't allow me."

"He must be in a terrible state, then." You sighed, looking out the window. "I shouldn't have left him."

"Which one?" Chie asked.

You were about to answer, but your mouth closed before you could utter out your response. Of course it was Shuu! You've known him longer than you knew Kanae, but... You missed that German weirdo too.

"Chie, who are those pictures for? The ones I'm supposed to give to you."

"I might keep one, but Kanae said he needed them for Tsukiyama." She smirked. "I think he wants to keep them for himself, though. He misses you like crazy."

You won't even bother trying to make her understand that she's just making stuff up. "Have you told him about where I am, or what I am?"

"No."

"Okay. Do me a favour then. Try to make him understand that he can't let people know we know each other. It would attract trouble for both of us."

You got up to leave, but stopped half way. "Oh, and try to stay away from anything that has to do with the CCG, please? If they find out you're doing illegal stuff, neither of us will be safe anymore."

"(Y/N)."

You hummed and turned towards Chie.

"Take the alley. It's a short cut for the Chateau."

You huffed in incredulity. "You stalker..."

With that, you left the shop with a smile, ignoring the man that crossed your path in that alley.

He, on the other hand, did a double take and watched as your figure disappeared in the darkness, wondering if he had truly been missing you so much that his brain had made him think the woman walking away was you.

••••

You may or may not have left the rest of the QS to go look for Mutsuki on your own...

You had to. The guilt was making you feel like complete shit. If only you had stopped him from drinking, at that club... If only you had gotten to Nutcracker before he did... You could have avoided all this, and now here you were, almost defenceless and running down the multiple hallways of this maze-like place.

Sniffing the air, you found a hint of Mutsuki's trademark smell, sending adrenaline through your veins as you ran faster to get to him.

As you approached, you could pick up on a familiar voice.

"Well, well, and where are you going... kaetzchen?"

Scared for your friend, you jumped through the last hallway separating you from the green haired male, calling out for him. "Mutsuki!"

Upon spotting him, you quickly embraced him and checked for injuries, completely forgetting about the other person you heard. You couldn't help being affectionate towards a friend that nearly died, you know?

"Oh, thank god you're not that hurt. I'm so sorry, I should have gone... I'm so sorry, Toor-"

"(Y/N)? Bist du es wirklich? (Is it truly you?)"

Your head snapped towards the ghoul, an undecipherable expression on your face.

"Get away from him." You unwillingly spat, shielding Mutsuki.

Kanae's expression went from hopeful to heartbroken in mere seconds. "It's me, (Y/N). It's-"

"Don't." You warned. He couldn't reveal himself like that. With Mutsuki around, he would be recognizable anywhere, after this. And if anyone knew you used to be on good terms with a ghoul, you'd be done for too."Don't do anything, or I won't hesitate to hurt you."

"You don't remember." Kanae's aura became threatening. "He took you away too, didn't he? That tra- He changed you."

"Do you know him..?" Tooru asked.

"I've never seen this guy in my life." You lied. You never knew something could tear you up from the inside so much.

"...you smell different."

Damn, Kanae was really having fun with his angsty monologue, huh? You guessed Chie didn't utter a word about what you had talked to her about.

Before you could show him why you smelled like a ghoul, your mentor, Haise Sasaki, found you and Mutsuki.

"Take Mutsuki back, Sasaki-san! I can take care of this!" You said. "He's a rinkaku, so I should have an advantage with my bika-"

Urie suddenly popped out of nowhere, kicking your long lost friend in the stomach, knocking him back. All you could do was stand beside Haise and Mutsuki as you watch him take in the four of you, before locking his gaze on Haise, gritting his teeth.

"This smell..." He started. "Are... Are you Haise Sasaki?!"

"He's a rinkaku. (Y/N) should take him out." Urie muttered.

"I've already covered that point, thank you very much." You said, stretching your arms. "I'll be fine on my own, you three should be find Shirazu and Saiko, and get Mutsuki some medical attention." You glared back at Kanae. "Let's dance, miene liebste (my dear)."

Without further ado, your kakugan flashed to life and you allowed your bikaku to pierce your skin, showing itself to the world. Kanae's eyes widened in disbelief, and your heart broke a little.

You held nothing back as you attacked your love mercilessly. Haise and Urie knew what you looked like holding back, and you couldn't afford any suspicions from the CCG.

You were easily hitting Kanae, as he seemed reluctant to hurt you. Hell, it would have been this easy even if you had a koukaku instead! During the whole one sided fight, not once did his kagune scratch you. He was either dodging your attacks, blocking them or just taking the hits.

"I'll finish him off." Urie stated as he came to your aid, "Hit him again, (Y/N)."

As you lowered your kagune to do so, something grabbed it, dragging you towards them as they did the same for Kanae. You yelped and glanced at your kidnapper, revealing a figure you could only recognize as Shuu's servant, Matsumae.

Determined to keep your act up, you called out for help from your fellow Quinx before a wall made of what you assumed was Matsumae's kagune separated you from them. You couldn't even see them anymore. All you could hear were Shirazu and Mutsuki's distant screams of your name.

"Matsumae... (Y/N)..." Kanae muttered, as the female handed you her mask.

"Wear this." The servant insisted, pushing said mask on your face. It wasn't a perfect fit, but you accepted it nonetheless. It might help you remain unrecognized if any CCG members saw you...

"Care to explain what I'm doing on this side of the wall?" You asked in a low voice, slightly pissed. How were you going to get back to the CCG with an acceptable excuse after this?

"Master Shuu will be happy to see you."

"Yeah, I miss him too, Matsumae, but the CCG'll be looking for me, and if I just show up one day after being 'kidnapped', they'll be asking questions."

"Help Kanae walk." With that, the servant turned around. You placed Kanae's arm around your shoulder, lifting him up and giving him an apologetic smile.

"Sorry about that, Kanae... I had to keep an image, you know? If I held back, they would have known..."

He looked at you, and his eyes fell on your left one. "What happened to you?" He asked, obviously staring at the kakugan you now had.

"Let me introduce myself. The name's (Y/N) Hori, successful member of the Quinx squad." You smirked.

You began walking, but soon the wounds you had inflicted on Kanae healed, so there was no need to help him walk anymore. As his weight left your body, he spoke up.

"Did your sister tell you to join?" He grimaced. Yeah, he still doesn't like her... You thought.

"Sort of." You said. "She said Kaneki was still alive, so I didn't want to just ditch him. He may not remember, but I still want to be there and make sure he doesn't actually die."

"Why?"

"Well, if he does die, then all hope is lost for Shuu's recovery, no?"

Kanae frowned at the thought. He must not like thinking about Tsukiyama staying in the state he is now...

"How is he? Chie said he wasn't doing well, but she never gave me details."

"Master Shuu is in critical state. If we do not hurry, he might die." Matsumae answered. "We are hoping that you might be able to change something."

"I... I think only Kaneki could do such a thing. I don't have that miraculous effect on people!" You explained. "Someone like Kaneki's rare. It's like if, whoever he meets, he'll leave an imprint, wether it's positive or negative. His 'death' shocked more people than I can count, both in the human and the ghoul world. I don't think I'm even close to being that type of person."

Seeing Kanae's disapproving frown, you added, "B-But Chie's smarter! I'm sure if I talked her into it, she'd have a plan! B-besides, even if she's not as affectionate as I am, Tsukiyama's her friend too. She doesn't want him to... To... Die..." Glancing at the person Matsumae stopped behind, you gulped nervously.

"H-Hi, mister Tsukiyama..." You nervously greeted.

"I assume you haven't found any ingredients." He stated, looking out onto the distant battlefield.

"No, master Murimo." Matsumae answered as you partially hid behind Kanae, holding his arm for a bit of comfort.

You didn't seem to have any bad blood with Shuu's father, but seeing as you... Sort of ditched his son and joined the CCG...

"But we did find Miss (Y/N) Hori, Master Murimo." Kanae gently pushed you so you would stand beside him. Your grip on his arm didn't falter.

"It's nice to see you again, (Y/N)." The man said, not sparing you a glance. "I suppose we can leave." He added, walking away.

Matsumae and Kanae followed behind him, you let go of Kanae's arm and trailed behind, unsure to leave your new friends behind.

"Come now, (Y/N). Everyone will be happy to see you again." With that, Kanae grabbed your hand and dragged you along. You blushed at the contact, but decided that perhaps it would be better to go with them than to stay alone in the middle of a battle.

••••

"I'm sorry I didn't have an effect on him, Kanae. I am so sorry." You apologized as the two of you exited Shuu's room. It was terrible to see him like that. He barely recognized you, too.

Your friend seemed even more disheartened than you were. Well, of course he would be... From what you heard, they were cousins, after all.

"There is no need to apologize. All of this isn't your fault." He said. From the tone of his voice, it sounded like he was blaming someone else. You took a wild guess of who he was blaming.

"You shouldn't blame yourself either, Kanae. It's not your fault. Hell, you're the one who's been taking care of him this whole time!" You said.

Kanae smiled. "Your words never fail to console me, liebste (dear)." You smiled too, and under his breath, he added, "Ich wäre ohne dich verloren (I would be lost without you)."

Of course, you heard that perfectly due to your heightened senses, but said nothing of it. Apparently Chie might be right, after all.

Gathering some courage, you kissed his cheek before saying, "I'm going to give Chie a call, okay? Where could I find you afterwards?"

Kanae gave you a surprised look. "I could wait for you in my room, if it's alright with you?"

"Fine with me!" You cheered, waving at him while heading outside. He stopped you midway, calling out your name.

"What is it, Kanae?" You asked. Turning around, you noticed he had a hand on the cheek you kissed. Did he not like that..? Oops...

"How long do you think you'll be talking with her?"

Your eyes landed on the ceiling, calculating. "Ten minutes?" You answered.

He nodded. "Remind me, when you find me that I have to tell you something important."

"You got it!"

Giving him a thumbs up, you began walking once again and exitited the room, heading towards your destination.

••••

Making your way back through the mansion, you pouted as you put your phone back in your pocket.

Of course when I need to talk to her the most, she doesn't answer... You angrily thought.

Arriving at Kanae's room, you tilted your head as you heard two voices inside, apparently arguing...

"If she doesn't realize it herself, why should I say anything? Both of us are happier this way."

"You know that's a lie, Kanae. You're making yourself miserable."

"What happens if I do tell her and scare her away? I rather be sad with her than sad and alone, Matsumae. Wouldn't you do the same?"

"No, of course not! I wouldn't have kept something like this from someone I love."

"You must be aware that I could lose her over this!"

"Seeing the way she acted around those 'Quinx', you might already have."

There was a pause.

"In my opinion, it's best that you tell her the truth. (Y/N) is a kind and considerate soul. She won't hate you over something like this if you explain it all to her... And you can keep it, by the way, in case you feel like you're more comfortable in it."