on?!" Octavia gripped his arm as the chaos below ensued,"What's happening?"

"I don't know" He watched.

Octavia searched the crowd, scanning to find her friends.

"Harry!" Octavia yelled trying to break free of Sirius.

"Octavia you can't do anything" He held her back.

"Harry" She kept yelling but he apparated with Hermione and Ron.

"Octavia please"

"Where could he have gone!" Octavia breathed,"He can't just disappear!"

"Octavia calm down"

"I CANT CALM DOWN" Octavia yelled back.

"He will be fine, he always is" Sirius consoled with worry in his eyes. But I couldn't tell if that worry was for Harry... or for Octavia.

"But what if he's not!" Tears were welling in her eyes.

Sirius pulled Octavia into hug. As tears spilled down her face.

"He will be alright, I promise"

"You can't promise that" Octavia sobbed into his chest.

"Watch me"

»»-------------¤-------------««

Octavia had been searching for days on end. Once Harry, Ron and Hermione apparated, she couldn't find them. Hermione was smart, she would have hid them well. Octavia spent every waking moment trying to find them, searching every inch. She had to know they were okay. She had to know Harry was okay. Everyone became worried for her, she wasn't sleeping. But her heart needed to know they were okay, as of right now it was threatening to rip in two.

From what she's over heard, they were on the hunt for horcruxes. They were trying to kill Voldemort once and for all.

A few months past with nothing. No sign of the trio. Octavia listened to Potter Watch, but nothing on Harry. Now it was just a comfort to hear her friends and family below alive and well. If well was even achievable during this time.

She tried to find a way to get her mind off her missing friends. Anything to stop her mind from going to the worst case scenario. Anything to stop seeing her friends dead bodies laying in front of her whenever she closed her eyes.

Octavia would watch Fred and George's joke shop, visit the Weasley house. Remus and Tonks would sometimes lift her spirits. They had just had a baby. Teddy, he was the cutest thing Octavia had ever seen. His little tuffs of blue hair. Harry was the god father, and She'd like to think if she was alive she would be the god mother. Remus and Octavia had a special "no need for words" bond. They just got each other. But somehow she couldn't bring myself to visit Hogwarts, Octavia had heard what was going on there. The school was now death eater central. It reminded Octavia of Umbridge and her blood quill. The first detention with Harry, how he was so worried about her being okay. And how angry she was when that first year, Bianca Wellworth had her scars. She would be in her third year now. Octavia hoped she was doing well. Memories like that are what kept Octavia sane. Her life had become black and white, always a dark cloud looming over her. The adults,parents, were worried about her, always checking in. But they never truly helped, no one could.

One day Octavia was sitting alone, pondering her own thoughts, head in her knees.

"Hey Octavia." Sirius plopped down next to her.

She just nodded and put her head back on her knees.

"Hard day?" He questioned.

"Hard Year" Octavia sighed,"Hard two years actually"

"Yeah, it will get better soon, at least that what we need to rely on" He slumped back on his hands.

"What if it doesn't though?" She looked at him,"What if I'm stuck like this forever, what if all my friends die and I can't do a thing to stop it?"

"It's best not to think like that" He put his hand on her shoulder.

"It's the only way I can think Sirius, its all I ever think about"

"Talk about it then" He encouraged,"It helped me when I got out of Azkaban, and when we first came here."

"I don't know where to start" Octavia shrugged sadly.

"Just start"

"Well I'm mad at myself, I'm mad I can't figure out my love. It's so bloody stupid!"

"Continue"

"And I worry! About everything! I worry my friends are going to die and I'm just going to have to watch. Watch my friends slowly be killed off one by one, or all together at this rate. And I don't think my sanity is strong enough to watch more people die Sirius."

Sirius nodded.

"It's frustrating. I see Hermione doing the best she can to help Ron and Harry. I see Ron trying to keep everyone happy. And then I see Harry. He's trying so save the bloody world and I can't help any of them! All I can do is watch them suffer."

Sirius sat silently as Octavia continued.

"And if Harry dies I might be pushed over the edge. I might never be the same." Tears were threatening to spill.

"Why?"

"He's one of my best friends!"

"Why?" Sirius prodded.

"I want to help!" She whimpered.

"Why?" Sirius got louder.

"I don't know!" Octavia yelled.

"WHY" He yelled.

"BECAUSE I LOVE HIM!" Octavia screamed.