I've never imagined English Grammar would be the hardest class I would have this year. But when you start the first lesson with syntax (a thing you've never done in English before), it's kind of a given. Man, I hope it'll get better, or I have some really hard times awaiting me in the near future.

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VICTOR's POV

I couldn't believe he just said it. We were sitting in a café, and he just went ahead and said it. I expected it would take a lot more to make him spill the beans. If anything, based on our previous interactions, I thought Oliver would make a huge deal about it. The fact he decided to do it so out of nowhere, without any preparation, caught me off guard. I wasn't sure I was ready for this.

To hell with it, I knew I wasn't ready for it.

I looked from Ollie to Matty, both of them staring at each other with huge eyes, and all I could think about was running away. I could see Matt's expression changing into many different ones, his emotions visible on his face clear as day. It was surreal, seeing his face so similar to mine make so many different expressions; expressions I was sure I wasn't capable of anymore. He was innocent and pure, and I was suddenly feeling extremely anxious about the whole situation.

The reality hit me hard. Matthias was still a little child. And even though he was my child, and I would love to get to know him and shower him with affection, there was one obstacle in my way. I felt like punching myself for not realizing it earlier.

The fucking paparazzi would eat him alive. The moment the press found out I had an illegitimate child, with a man on top of that, they would leap at the chance and ruin his whole childhood and Oliver's life as well.

Why was I realizing this only now? Why didn't this occur to me before I started this stupid thing? I couldn't just let them ruin this angle's life. He was far too innocent to be able to deal with it.

My mind going into different direction and ugly thoughts starting to come up, everything was forgotten when Matt turned to me, his wide eyes shining with interest. I could see he wasn't as shocked as I would expect him to be in a situation like this, and it gave me hope I wasn't sure I wanted. Not after my sudden enlightenment a minute ago. How the fuck did my mind change in a matter of few seconds? Was this what being a parent was about? Was I going to turn into an indecisive and scared nitwit?

Looking at him, I felt like an absolute idiot for feeling this way, and his next words just added another nail to the coffin.

"Are you really my dad?" he asked, voice full of wonder and excitement. I had his whole attention, and I was suddenly nervous all over again. I couldn't muster my courage to speak up. What was I even supposed to say? What was the right thing to say to a child that just met one of their parents for the first time? Was he going to accept me just like that? Was it really that easy?

I couldn't believe I was actually scared of a five year old child, but it was the sad reality. I was scared shitless, and it was probably visible on my face because Oliver decided to speak up and, surprisingly so, help me.

"Vic," he said, my eyes snapping in his direction. He was looking at me with a weird expression on his face, and if I didn't know better, I would think he looked almost sympathetic.

"Just talk to him." He nodded towards Matt with a soft smile, patting his head.

I looked back at the small boy in front of me, inspecting every part of his face so I could remember even the slightest detail, such as a mole he had next to his right ear. He was really perfect, and the photo definitely didn't give him enough justice.

"I-" my voice got stuck in my throat, and I had to take a deep breath to be able to speak again. The thought of me being so nervous about talking with a child was ridiculous. I was used to speaking to huge amounts of people in front of me. I was used to talk to our rivals or straight up enemies without any trouble. If any of them saw me at this moment, they would die out of laugher or some shit like that.

"Yes, it seems like it, buddy." I smiled, feeling my face scrunch up into a weird cramp-like expression. I wanted to slam my head against the wall the moment the words left my mouth. Why would I say something so stupid?

Matt's toothy smile and sparkling eyes told me it wasn't as stupid though, and I couldn't help but admire his ability to make me feel better in a blink of an eye. He was definitely going to be a charmer in the future.

"Really? Really?" he asked again, this time his voice much louder and excited. He was almost vibrating with energy as he kept on staring at me.

I nodded, not taking the risk of saying something stupid again, and that was enough for him. He jumped up, his tiny arms going around my neck in a heartwarming hug, and that was everything I needed. I took him in my arms, tears prickling my eyes. It felt heavenly, hugging my son like this.

I couldn't describe with words how amazing I felt at that moment. It was something I could never imagine before. People always told you how it felt to take your newborn child in your hands for the first time, and all I could do at times like that was smile without really understanding the feeling as I never experienced it firsthand. But this had to be similar to the situation. Matthias might be a big guy already, but holding him for the first time was just unforgettable. I would definitely remember this moment until the end of my life, and I doubted there would ever be a situation that could surpass this one.

"Matty, I'm so sorry for not being here up until now," I whispered, caressing his hair, a new wave of fresh tears breaking out when I noticed the little guy was shaking. His sobs were quieted by our hug so no one could hear it, but having him in my arms was enough to recognize it. The sudden wetness on my shoulder was a proof on its own as well.

"I swear I'll never leave from now on. I'll be here for you anytime you need me." I felt his small arms tighten around my neck, his head going up and down in a slow nod.

I meant every word I said. There was no way I would leave now. Not after having my son in my arms like this. I would even move here if there was no other way, which probably wouldn't be. But it didn't matter. Buying a house or at least a good apartment wasn't a problem at all. It was the least I could do for us.

Waiting for few moments, Matty calming down in the meantime, I couldn't help but glance towards Oliver. He was just standing there, eyes on Matt, looking crestfallen. I couldn't honestly imagine how he felt at the moment, and even though I wanted to soothe him, having Matty in my arms was more important, and I was sure he knew that as well. Moreover, he probably wouldn't appreciate me hugging him or something. That seemed like too much even for me.

The rest of the day was like a dream. After Matthias calmed down and let go of me, we spend quite a lot of time just chatting. The little guy was a talkative hoard of energy, and he didn't waste a moment to ask a question. It felt more like an interview, but unlike these, I loved every minute of it.

When it was time to say our goodbyes, it was another vale of tears. I was happy he already liked me so much, but seeing him sad wasn't something I wished for.

I looked at Ollie, analyzing his current mood, thinking whether my hopes were realistic or not. Seeing him troubled and unsure of what to do with our crying son in front of him, I did something I probably shouldn't have, but if I wanted to fight for what I wanted, I had to.

"What about meeting sometimes during next week?" I crouched down and wiped away the tears on Matty's cheeks. He looked like an angel with his shining wide eyes.

"We could meet in a park and have a fun afternoon, all three of us. How does that sound?" I asked, watching as his eyes stopped shedding all the tears and his face lit up.

"I'd like that! Can we do that?" he smiled, looking from me to Oliver and back.

I turned around, checking if my sudden proposal wasn't too much for Ollie. His conflicted expression told me enough of his opinion on it, but when he smiled at Matt and nodded, I felt the tension in me disappear. If it wasn't idiotic, I would jump up in excitement, but I just looked at our son and ruffled his hair playfully, earning a happy grin.

"Then it's a deal! What day are you free?" I asked, already planning the whole afternoon in my mind. This was a chance I needed, and I wasn't wasting it. I was going to spend a day with my son and Ollie, and I would be damned if I didn't use this opportunity to get my family back.

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Was Matt's reaction appropriate to the situation?

I have good news. I finally managed to finish the story - at least in my head. I have short summaries for each chapter until the end of the book, so the ending is definite now! It doesn't make it easier to write, but it's definitely refreshing to see how many chapters are left and knowing the plot for each chapter.

Totally unrelated stuff below

I've been traumatized.

I was on my nightshift few days ago, and as I always have a TV on, so it wouldn't be too quiet there, I ended up watching a movie I didn't even know existed, and it probably scarred me for life.

Have you ever seen a movie called Tusk? If you didn't, please don't look it up! If you did, can you help me with how I should forget about it? I cannot stop thinking about it, especially about the "monster". It gives me the creeps, and I want to erase it from my mind! >.< Every horror movie I've ever seen was better than this one! Even Sinister, which really made me scared shitless - especially with a kid sister in the room next to mine and my overly imaginary mind, was okay. But this...It's not even about being scared or something. It's just the thing the guy was turned into...the way it looks, his screams...ugh. I feel sick.

Help!