《statehumans headcanons !! [OUTDATED]》incorrect quotes
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maryland: i want to wake up with you everyday for the rest of my life
delaware: i wake up at 4:30 everyday.
maryland:
maryland: i would like to see you some at point everyday for the rest of our lives
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california: y'know, not every problem can be solved with a single gun
texas: that's why i carry two guns
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oregon: stop buying those plastic skeletons for halloween it's terrible for the environment!
idaho: you're right. locally sourced all- natural skeletons are much better for the environment
~~~~~~
florida: oh just so you know, it's very muggy outside
texas: i swear to god if i step outside and all the mugs are on the lawn-
louisiana: *sipping coffee from a bowl*
~~~~~~
massachusetts: whaddya call a fish with no eyes?
connecticut, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons.
massachusetts:
massachusetts: fsh
~~~~~~
kentucky: is this a bottle of whiskey or perfume?
kentucky: *chugs bottle*
kentucky: it's perfume.
~~~~~~
hawai'i: i think i'm having a midlife crisis!
alaska: you're like, 15.
hawai'i: i might die at age 30.
~~~~~~
south dakota: i'm 10x better and funnier than you
north dakota: 10 times 0 is still 0 dumbass
~~~~~~
ohio: here's a fun idea for the christmas party; we hang mistletoe but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.
north carolina: no.
michigan: mistlefoe
north carolina: do not encourage him.
~~~~~~
arizona: in your opinion, what's the height of stupidity?
california: *turns to texas*
california: hey texas, how tall are you?
~~~~~~
new jersey: york, apologize to massachusetts.
new york: fine.
new york: 'unfuck you' or whateva'
~~~~~~
washington, in a high pitched voice holding a barbie doll: hey ken! i was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!
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connecticut, in a deep voice holding ken: nonsense, barbie. you're going to stay home and have my kids
mississippi: the fuck are y'all doin
washington: playing systematic oppression
~~~~~~
florida, holding a python: guys i bought a snake what should i name him
georgia: you did what
louisiana: william snakespeare
~~~~~~
texas: hey, alaska?
alaska: yes?
texas: d'ya think someone could breathe inside a washing machine while it's on?
alaska:
alaska: where's rhode island
~~~~~~
virginia: why is north carolina so sad?
tennessee: he took one of those 'let us guess which state you're from' buzzfeed quizzes
virginia: and..?
tennessee: he got south carolina.
~~~~~~
connecticut: you know those things can kill you, right?
texas, pouring another glass of whiskey: that's the point.
north carolina, smoking a cigarette: we're trying to speed up the process
florida: *nods while eating raw cookie dough*
~~~~~~
michigan: truth or dare
minnesota: dare.
michigan: i dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room
minnesota: hey, wisconsin?
wisconsin, blushing: yeah?
minnesota: could you move? i'm trying to get to north dakota
~~~~~~
illinois: i was born for politics. i have great hair and i love lying
~~~~~~
oklahoma: i died and came back as a cowboy, i call that reintarnation
~~~~~~
america: i've done a lot of dumb stuff.
new york: i witnessed the dumb stuff
alaska: i recorded the dumb stuff
texas, florida, michigan, and ohio: i joined in on the dumb stuff
delaware: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF
~~~~~~
sorry if your state wasn't included!
i'll definitely be doing a part 2 so if you guys wanna leave me some suggestions (bc my uncreative ass over here-) feel free!
it could be states you wanna see, scenarios, or more suggestions for this book in general!!
💝 💛💜💚💕💖🤎
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