Never before, had I looked at a guy, then wanted to lay claim to him so badly. That was how it played out when I first set eyes on Jamie.

I saw him.

I then had to have him.

I'd given up the drugs, but I wasn't yet ready to give up raving. Going to parties completely drug free was a whole new experience, but I was determined to do it. And I had been doing it. Even when I first saw Jamie, DJing, in some dark and dusty barn on some farm in the middle of Cinderford, I was partying clean.

Hunched over some decks, the first thing I noticed was just how good a DJ he was. Then, I noticed his floppy fringe and his full lips pouting with concentration as he delivered his amazing beats of jungle and hi-energy tunes. I'm not ashamed to admit it, he mesmerised me.

He had quite a gathering in front of both him and the decks, who were all just as impressed as I was. And there were a particular group of girls, who were all just as mesmerised as I was, all probably thinking the exact same thing as I was too. So, I boldly acted quickly. I pushed myself right in front of them all, and danced to the music like he had been playing those top tunes just for me.

I danced well.

Music was still a thing that gave me a euphoric, clean high.

It was still something that made me feel good.

So yeah, I'll admit...I showed off a little.

I wanted Jamie to notice me, and he did.

During his set, there was a bit of eye contact. Some eyeball flirting going on. Once he had finished his awesome stint on the decks, I wasted no time in introducing myself. "Hi, I'm Mary Rose, that was an incredible set you've just done."

He was tall, much taller than me, and looked so much better looking up close. "Thanks, it's lovely to meet you, Mary Rose." Was his thrilled reply as his fingers raked themselves through his floppy dark auburn hair.

"What's your name?" I just as boldly had asked him.

"DJ Jay." I could tell he just loved saying that, but I wasn't interested in his DJ name, I wanted to know the name that he was born with.

"Don't you have a real name, then?" Confidently, I shot down his proud reply.

That was to be the first time that I would see his veil of confidence slip from off his good-looking features. Staring back at me, with the longest lashes I had ever seen on a guy before, was an almost vulnerable expression. In that moment, his vulnerability fused with my own, and it only made me want him even more. "Uh, yeah...it's... Jamie." Cutely stammered out of his mouth.

Holding my hand out, I gave him a wide smile. "A pleasure to meet you, Jamie.

That was how we met. How quickly he had engulfed my life.

That night, in that dark and dusty barn on a farm in Cinderford, we became as one.

We danced.

We held hands.

We cuddled.

We laughed.

I got completely and utterly swept up by Jamie. Completely and utterly swept up by us.

I met him on a Saturday night, and didn't return home until the following Thursday. In between those days, I did call nan and gramp, and my mum, just to let them know that I was still alive and all that. Part of my decision to stop taking drugs, included me trying to be more thoughtful and considerate—so that was me being thoughtful and considerate.

I don't think they were too impressed when I said I would be returning with my new boyfriend in tow, but I think they knew better than to ever question it.

So, myself and Jamie came back together.

At this time, Cora and I were renting a run-down old flat above a fruit and veg shop. With time and a shed load of money, it could have been made to be a really lovely place, but myself and Cora had no interest in making it lovely. It was just a stop gap between both of our living arrangements.

I had outgrown living with nan and gramp, but didn't want to live with my mum. But ultimately, I would have to eventually return back to my mum's, because I simply couldn't afford to bum around at the flat. But until the time that I did have to leave that flat, myself and Jamie would have some fun together in it first.

I will always tell everyone and anyone—that the first six weeks with him were truly wonderful.

Maybe it was the high of that, that I ended up constantly chasing after? I kept pursuing all of those wonderful moments that we once shared?

In those six weeks, we fell in love.

In those six weeks, we made love.

He would buy me small gifts, pick me flowers and we talked about so many things. By candlelight, we would talk until the early hours. By a different candlelight, we would have long baths together.

We fell fast.

We fell passionately.

With Jamie, I was experiencing emotions that I never thought I would feel. We connected—both physically and emotionally.

My cold, numb heart, became so warmly full of him.

While he slept sometimes, I would just lie my head on the pillow and watch him sleep. I'd watch him, thinking that I was the luckiest girl in the world. I'd watch him, thinking how beautiful he was.

Yeah, I fell really hard.

Hopelessly hard.

Jamie would be the first guy that I would confide in about my past. I emotionally told him all about Ivan, about Maria and Mario, Brandon, and all about my parents; I told him everything. And Jamie listened, just as I had emotionally told him, he emotionally had listened. "No one will ever hurt you again." Was what he had told me, whilst holding me so tightly in his protective hold.

I believed him.

I believed him, because I believed in Jamie.

I believed in his feelings for me, just like I believed in my own feelings for him.

He had my heart.

He truly had became the jailer of my heart.

Everything was so incredibly perfect...until perfect was no longer enough for Jamie.