Mabel walked out of my apartment in that fitted black dress that hugged every curve I could have only imagined. Her usually frizzy, braided hair was neatly tumbling down her shoulders in gentle curls. She looked like a dream.

I glanced down at my hands to see envelopes with writing on them. Open when you feel sad, open when you need to talk, open when you've had a bad day were scrawled on each envelope.

A small asterisks was on each letter - only open when you need it. I mean it!

I furrowed my brows but gently peeled open one of the letters that fit my day perfectly today.

Marcus,

I'm so sorry you feel sad! I wish I could make every day happy and perfect for you. But I know I can't.

So, I want to give you some practical advice (from google so you know you can trust the intense research I've done). Do something. Call your friends and go out or call them and stay in. Call me! I'm always free and love to publicly and privately embarrass myself in front of you as it often happens. But don't sit by yourself and run through everything that's going on in your head, because - and no offence - you're a serious over thinker. This is coming for a blabber mouth who has no filter sometimes so take my word for it. I've had years of practice.

Put on some music. I know you love fifties music (I hear everything. Also I'm nosy). So put something on and know that I'm here for you during bad days and good ones.

I placed the envelope on the table, fully aware of how fast my heart was currently beating. I couldn't believe people like Mabel existed. People with hearts so big, they cared about others before themselves.

When I was with Vanessa, I felt like both of us would try and win at the relationship. Both of us were selfish, wanting more for ourselves; better for ourselves, before each other. I wasn't even with Mabel and she cared about me more than anyone had ever cared for me in my life.

I ran a hand through my hair in disbelief, my gaze set on her stupid donut mug on my table. I don't even know why I grabbed the thing in the first place. I went back to Walmart to grab cups for my morning coffee and saw it just staring at me. All I could think of was Mabel's wide, excited eyes clasping onto the cup with her small hands.

Before I knew it, I picked one up and brought it home and placed it in my cupboard. So she'd always have a special place in my house.

What the fuck is wrong with me.

I groaned, picking up my phone and ringing Joey. "Hey man!" He slurred on the third ring.

"Are you out?" I asked as I leaned back on my couch, one hand still clutching Mabel's letter delicately.

"I could be. Or I could be home. That's still unclear," Joey responded, burping loudly.

"It sounds like you should be home."

"I'm about to go home with this chick. I told her I knew a firefighter. And I do! You! So you gotta show up man, or she'll leave without me," Kyle explained.

"No way. I'm not meeting you when you're drunk or I'll be responsible for getting you home."

I could practically hear Joey pouting, "I can't believe you won't meet me here. She has a friend. I think. Or I'm seeing two of her. Either way she's hot."

"I'll call you a cab," I reasoned. I didn't exactly understand why I wasn't going out. Typically, when I was in this head space, the first thing I'd do would be to go out and get wasted and bring a girl back. It was easy to forget that way. It was easy to feel numb that way. But that didn't sound so appealing anymore.

There were other things that made me forget way easier than that.

And she was currently on a date with another guy.

I looked at the letter again, reading it over. Her words washing over me with comfort. Comfort I didn't know I could have anymore. Comfort

I didn't know I was desperately craving. How did Mabel know when I didn't even know myself? She was so clueless to the world.

I got up, ordered a cab for Joey and put on Please Mr. Postman by The Marvelettes because I thought it was fitting for the moment and it made me happier, as per Mabel's orders.

I grabbed my phone again and dialled Matt's number.

"What's up?" Matt greeted.

"Want to come over? Joey's on his way in a cab. Drunk."

Matt chuckled, "You're not with him?"

"Nah," I grunted. "Not in the mood."

"He didn't go with Joey," Matt whispered, undoubtedly to Miranda. "He says he didn't feel like it."

"Would you just put me on speaker if you're going to narrate my life?" I let out of a huff of frustration.

"Hey, Marcus!" Miranda's bright voice chirped into the speaker.

"How's it going, Miranda?" I rolled my eyes. We all knew what she wanted to know.

"Why didn't you go out with Joey?" She inquired. There it was.

If I knew the answer to that, I wouldn't be staring at a goddamn donut mug lingering in my table.

"Just tired, I guess," I reasoned.

"Hmm," She murmured.

I interrupted before she could grill me anymore. It was all about timing with Miranda. "You and Matt want to swing by?"

"Sure!" She perked up. "We'll head over in five."

"See ya," I responded hanging up. I picked up the envelopes and put them in the drawer of my nightstand, my gaze transfixed on Mabel's hand writing.

I took Mabel's donut mug to the kitchen and washed it before placing it back in the cupboard, but I moved it behind other mugs so it was out of sight. I didn't want Miranda or Joey to think they could use it. That mug had Mabel's name written all over it.

Just then, a loud and repetitive knock sounded at my door. "Let me innn," Joey's voice slurred.

I walked over and tugged it open only to see him when his arm around a blonde girl. "I brought," burp, "company. I hope you mind."

"Don't," the girl stated laughing as they shuffled inside my apartment drunkenly.

"Don't what?" Joey asked peering over at the girl next to him with fascination.

"Don't," She repeated more sternly this time.

"I don't understand anything she says! Speak English." He enunciated each word which seemed to piss the girl off.

"You be careful or I won't sleep with you," She warned sticking a wobbly finger out in front of her.

"No!" Joey gasped in shock. "You promised."

She shrugged, "Pinky promises don't count."

"They do! Marcus, tell her they do!" Joey pleaded, his eyes now staring at me expectantly.

Was this me before I met Mabel? Stumbling into my apartment with a random chick, only half aware? What must Mabel have heard from me. What did she think of me? I cringed at the very idea of her hearing me have sex with other women, though a month earlier I would have been happy to have made Mabel uncomfortable.

A knock sounded at the door before Miranda and Matt opened it and walked right in.

"Oh, my God, hi!" The drunk girl addressed Miranda as she lunged across the room and embraced Miranda, her arms winding around her tightly.

Miranda shot Matt a pleading look. "Um, hi?"

"You are so beautiful," the drunk girl continued placing her hand on Miranda's shoulder to stabilize her wobbly limbs. "Don't let these horn dogs tell you anything else, girl. You're a queen! You're a whole fricken kingdom!"

"Back at ya, sister," Miranda laughed and when the drunk girl failed to respond but continued to stare, Miranda continued, "You have some, uh, pretty intense eye contact," Miranda muttered, unable to look away from the girl's steady stare.

"That's because I love you. And don't you forget it," Drunk girl continued before finally letting go of a relieved Miranda to deposit her body half on the couch, half on the floor. Snoring ensued.

Joey sighed, "She's so beautiful." He then deposited his body in a similar fashion next to said Drunk Girl.

My phone buzzed and I looked down to see Mabel's name. Mabel was never going to see her emojis that was for sure.

🔥🍑😇🦌🦋 Mabel: Got to the restaurant! We didn't cover physical affection though, Marcus and I'm panicking. Do I kiss him? Do I let him kiss me? HELP

A deep pitted feeling encompassed my stomach at the thought of her kissing Jackson. But she wasn't mine and I had to remember that. I was too damaged for someone as pure as her. I'd never be able to give her what she deserved - a full relationship without the baggage that I came with.

I was ruined by bitterness. I'd seen too much of the world and it has jaded me. I couldn't pull Mabel into that. That didn't stop that feeling deep in the pit of my gut. Because it's hard to see a girl you like all over another guy.