▓

want me.

need me.

feed you.

:

Vegas Theerapanyakul has a lonely abstraction, one that holds him prisoner like a old painting in a museum, forever. It collects all of him everyday, swelling his yolk from within, like seizing a mother hens eggs. I can see it, I can feel it, I can touch it. He the king, the head of this nation, the emperor of this land is wilting slowing inside all alone, everyday. I know his heart doesn't work well as it used to, neither does his eyes nor ears. I know, but I don't care. He often talks about seeing the moon all throughout day, he calls it art, but what he doesn't know is that his eyes are getting immune to the blindness, the darkness. He rants about the ears, the ears that don't hear very well, but are loud. He says they are loud, so loud, so very loud and imprudent. I say how loud? He says, " so very loud ", and all silence consumes us. For the wilting heart drying inside of his chest like a plant, he calls it the root, the soil, and the water.

"It's thriving, oh it's thriving right in here, all over me". Vegas says, over and over again touching all over his bod with my bare hands.

I say, "where"?, and he says "everywhere".

I say," where, Vegas"?, and he says "everywhere, everywhere my love".

And, yes it's everywhere, because Vegas Theerapanyakul says so.

That man is my solar system, my root, my soil, and my water. He is what that keeps me alive everywhere. And, I will love him with all I can, with all I am, with all we have...because I am his Pete, and he is my

Vegas.

-

We knew each other since childhood, you see, at an ancient time I was a poor child, and my mother was a slave to prostitution. There were no bright days, nor clear, they all had this sicking grey blue undertone to all of them. Instead of counting stars at night, I would count sheep because that was more realistic, for someone like me, the 'pigs' would say. I had no dreams, nor imaginations..I just simply lived.

And, for my mother it felt like she didn't live at all.

But, at least for her..she did count the stars instead of sheep's, and she did have dreams and wondrous imaginations, I envied her soul. Her soul was so young, and childlike, filled with bliss. She smiled always nevertheless, no matter if there was no food, if she was getting brutally raped in front of me, or if she was beaten and butchered, she still smiled.

I never did.

I hated myself for that.

When she was on her deathbed, she asked me to smile once for her and I never did. I couldn't, there were too many liquids filling my eyes, drowning my face and my beautiful smile.

"

Smile

.

And, when she took her final breath that night, was when I could finally smile, truly. Because, then I knew she was free, and could smile every single smile, truly.

On that day, at that single crack in the door- laid the eyes of Vegas Theerapanyakul, watching me with tear filled eyes, and a bright yellow half bitten banana in his hand, reaching towards me.

And, since that day I never cried ever again.

-

Later at night, at that golden spoon pond, swam me and Vegas in the lantern moonlit sky.

Vegas intrigued me, he made my mind run and run in fields filled with daises and rafflesias. So stubborn, so rude, but so very smart. If only if he knew of his mind, what it contained of, how it confined me, it would kill him beautifully. I liked ogling at him, he was simply extravagant and potent. How his face looked and smelled of honey, the sharp chiseled jaw and neck, the narrow expressive eyes of critique and daunt. His nose like a cherry. And, his smile which was my favorite, it hide so many combustible clouds of dreams and imagination. Vegas looked like a dream, that I wanted to last forever-

"Whom do you look at with those eyes, seated neatly into your head?", Vegas spoke with poise, moving closer to me with dramatical high shoulders and chin.

He looked funny. He looked happy, and so was I. But, I didn't want him close, I wouldn't be comfortable knowing that we could touch bodies, just like that. And, so I push him away, but somehow accidentally I bring him closer.

-

As the ears above the neck presented its lukewarmness to me, I took it and ran, not looking back. I was filled of temptation , oh how the turbulence of sin overcame me, and took me under its wing.

Sticking out my red wet unfolded carpet of a tongue, curling it underneaths my prince's ear, warm. Licking it addictively with heavy puffs between breaths, shaking uncontrollably. Tugging onto his black locks, intertwining them inside my white fingers, and engraving my face into his neck and ears whole. I could hear Pete's muffled gasps, softly.

Our bodies wet of the ponds liquid, cold. Nourished together like a pod of white ducks. No matter how how close I was to my love it wasn't enough, I wanted more of him, all of him if I could. I was willing to go down to hell and slay the devil itself to impress God to give me all of my Pete, that I deserved. I wanted to snatch his dick in a fist, and rub it onto mines roughly and so, so deeply. I wanted to eat his pre-cum with my whole face, and drink his squirts that I imagined would yelp into the air over and over again, gracefully like a wish fountain . I wanted to devour his mouth, with the soaring angelic sounds that would move my throat and ground, moans. That only Pete would hear.

I wanted to fuck him, I wanted to eat. Pete. Phongsakorn. All of him. With my eyes wide open looking into his, with a tilted spine and head.

Could he hear my "taboo" thoughts, that sang only for him? Could he feel my instrument stringing against his? Could he feel my tongue playing inside of his ear, pretending it's his hole? Could he? Would he? Should he?

Mmm, shit.

Pete, although I couldn't see his face, from his fidgeting movements I knew he was scared dearly. But, this was only the beginning for him. And, for what I might do next I'm dearly sorry, my love.

"I'm sorry..", I whisper this into the canal of his eardrum. Bringing my fingers from out his hair, dragging them across his stomach, to the insides of his inner thighs, gripping them violently. Pete gasps once more..

"Hey!" Pete says this with a loud gasp.

I raise a smirk at his sudden response, diving deeper into his thighs that I was gripping unmercifully.

"I like the feeling, of feeling you...it makes me feel faint, hungry, Pete. Help me." I needed him to save me, reach me to the heavens, I was shivering sickly.

"You're shaking terribly my king should I go-."

"No.", I answer quickly with a heavy breath, tightening my grip onto Pete.

"Don't go anywhere...let's just stay like this for a while."

"Why are you doing this?". Pete questions me solemnly.

"I don't know, I don't know".

It's true, I didn't know why I was really doing this. There had to be a reason, I just couldn't find it right now. My mind is completely blank, but full of such hungry lust. I was hungry. I started to rub my hands up and down his inner thighs, pinching seductively. Feeling all his warmth, that were sent to me like sun rays.

"What is this?". Pete questions me, running his fingers over mines.

"Can you feel it?".

"Y-yes".

"good, that's all that matters to me then".

"what?".

"that you can feel".

"That I can feel?".

"Yes, it turns my stomach".

Wanting more, my tongue leaves his ears and travels to his neck, licking earnestly. Pete was now like stone, he no longer made anymore gasps he was bleakly quite.

"I want me...inside you..Pe-". I say this clutching my arms around his back.

"No". Pete tells me this, pushing my arms and lips away, harshly.

My love moves away from me, and the ripples in the pond follow his lead, obediently. When I saw his eyes I had a creeping pound of guilt, maybe even shame. We've never been so intimate together before, this would be the first and maybe the last. I just didn't want him to see me as a monster with so much lust. I wanted him to see me, with undeniable love that stretches out of planet earth. Those eyes were my biggest competitor.

"Do you see me as a woman?". Pete asks, so softly I almost couldn't hear him.

"What?". I scrunch my face in confusion, with a slight chuckle, stepping closer to Pete.

" A woman?" I see you as a everything, Pete.

"Yes, do you see me, Pete, as a woman?", his eyes were filled with confusion and uncanny innocence. What he didn't know was-

"Pete, I see you as my light, I see you as my world. I see you as my everything. If you ask me if I see you as a bird, I would say yes. If you ask me if I see you as a tree, I would say yes. Because, you are everything to me in my eyes, and everything you will always be, always."

His eyes pleaded with mines.

"huh I don't understand Im sorry...b-but this doesn't scare you?!"

"Don't say sorry, and how could anything scare me, when I'm with you..?"

"So this doesn't worry yo-"

"No, not at all."

"You say that my king, but this is wrong." His eyes changed.

That hurt.

"Why? How is this wrong? Our love is not a crime, it never was."

"They call it Taboo, my king."

"Who? Those pigs? They, are pigs." I say, pointing my fingers to different directions in the atmosphere.

"Pigs call it taboo!"

"And, who cares, who shall believe a pig? Those that lay out of this kingdom, or the ones that lay inside? No. No one has the authority to tell us what our love is. I am the king! I have the say if our love is taboo or not! No one else!"

His eyes changed again.

"Yes, you are the king..so why are you doing this?

My loves eyes were plucked of its query oblivion, my love, started to step into the world Adam and Eve ate for us.

I stared at Pete, with no movement what so ever.

"So what if I am the king, should I not love? Am I now not allowed to do that also?"

Pete stared at me, with no movement whatsoever.

"Vegas..."

"I'm sorry, I'm just really scared." Pete shakes scaredy.

"You don't have to be, I am here, right here, I've always been."

I move closer to Pete, almost touching his face.

"I will always be here."

"Always?"

"Alwa-

And, like that Pete smashes his blush lips into mines, eating me, like eve ate the apple.

Adam and Eve, we were.

Fuck.