Silence. They say,

But thoughts overfill my head

Questions that need to be answered

Things that need to be said

But silence is what they say,

Silence is what they want

Silent is what they want me to be

I don't know how to be silent

"You talk too much"

Yeah but my mind is over there but it is also here

I swear-

I swear I'm listening

My mind is just asking stupid questions like "Why?"

'why are you talking to me?'

'Why do you talk about the things you do?'

'Why are people even made?'

Then there's "how?"

'How do you do what you did?'

'How do you feel about something I think?'

Let's not forget about what...

'What would I be doing if you weren't speaking to me,'

'What would I be doing if we hadn't met.'

'What caused you to wear that?'

'What is your shoe size?'

'What is your height?'

So many questions that are considered annoying but need to be answered or my head starts to pound like the beat of a drum

Silence is what they crave from me

I can't be silent, because like a genjitsu,

The thought and questions never end

Silence is what I crave from the eager thoughts

It's what I crave from the constant questions

Silence is what I wish I was

"Silence RJ,"

"Silence RJ"

"Be quiet RJ"

"Stop talking RJ"

"You talk too much RJ"

I know, but I can't help because silence is something I do not know of

But it's something I crave from myself at night when I'm trying to sleep

It's what others crave when I'm ranting about my day

Silence is something we all want

Silence is something that puts us at ease

Its something we all need

But what about me,

I'm here with thoughts that are everlasting like the leaves on an evergreen

But I wish they were quiet like the girl in my class who barely speaks

"You're too loud RJ"

I wish I had a quiet voice but then I would be outspoken

Silence is what I wish I had within

If I were to be silent

Would I lose my mind?

Yes because I will never be as silent as they need or want me to be

Because I am loud and I'm very proud of my loudness

It means I'll never be outspoken

I'll always be heard

And most importantly,

I'll never be alone because I have my never-silent thoughts to keep me company

Silent is something I'll never be

~RJ 10/14/22~