Love was prohibited.

Love was sinful.

Love was dangerous.

I never listened

and

so it destroyed me.

(Y/N)'s POV

I thought about running away from the Jedi order. Many times. Never had the guts to do so. I was scared to let go of something so beautiful, so pure and yet intoxicating. The feeling of my heartbeat going faster. The feeling of the butterflies exploring every bit of my soul. I couldn't let go. Every sight of him made me feel different from usual. A fellow master, skilled in combat, skilled in mind. Obi-Wan Kenobi made me feel that special emotion. Letting go of my passions meant letting go of him. But-

I didn't know I would lose myself like that.

Not that I cared much. All I cared was his well being. He knew that. I tried keeping it professional but I knew he can sense that little bit of sympathy in my actions. He knew. He knows. Sadly, one thing he didn't know, was that all this bliss made his lover fall to the dark side. All the sins I've made for being so selfish, they burned me. The fire in me turned into a hell of light.

And then.

It turned into a pitch black abyss.

*******

- Master (L/N), is everything okay? - asked a voice.

I suddenly snapped from my thoughts. Dang, it the meeting.

- My apologies, I must've spaced out.

- Unusual for you this is. - noted Master Yoda.

- I-I don't know what's got me lately. Perhaps problems with my helth. I'll take care of the issue later, let's move on. - my eyes wondered around the meeting room.

He was looking straight into me.

All the masters continued their discussion about the all the padawans' improvement. I tried to listen but my mind was everywhere but not where it was supposed to be.

- Sorry to interrupt, Master Windu but I sense a disturbance... in this room. - spoke up Obi-Wan.

Dear Force. If he realizes he will hate me for what I've done. I'll lose his love. I'll lose him. I-

I was shaking.

"There, (Y/N). The ships are approaching the temple. Soon we will begin the attack and you will get what you wanted. A deal is a deal. Siths keep their word."

I wanted to throw up.

Obi- Wan gave me a concerned look.

- If you excuse me, I-I don't feel so good.- I could barely form a sentence and left the meeting, running to my quarters.

Tears were rolling down my face. I received some concerned glances on my way but no one dared to ask. Seems like my eyes said everything. My breathing got faster. Was I really ready? Was this really the way?

Once I reached my room I headed to the bathroom. I looked at myself. I looked...pale? Something wasn't right. It must be the dark force taking over me. It must be it...

Obi-Wan's POV

- Master Kenobi right is. Something is wrong. - said Master Yoda.

- I have the feeling that someone might have broken the code. - added Master Fisto. Is he joking?

- What do you mean exactly? - asked Plo Koon.

- What I was saying is that I think Master (L/N) might have broken the rules and got pregnant.

- Nonsense! - I shouted. What is he even thinking?

She couldn't have done such a thing. Not with another man. We never...did it. In fact the feelings between us never really got cleared out, not in words. Our relationship stayed completely hidden between the walls of our force connection. No one knew but us. Even we still don't have everything sorted out. We are scared of the love we have for each other, the many things we will destroy in our path to get to each other. We desided to keep our distance but- This doesn't mean that one of us could try reach the other one...

- She can be a very passionate person, full with emotions and a lively heart but she would never go that far...- I thought not realizing I spoke up, giving my mind a voice.

- We might be dealing with poisoning or an infection of sort?

- We must investigate.

- We must take care of this matter.

All these voices repeating. We. We. We.

- No. I'll take this problem as my own. The case of Master (L/N) is my responsibility now. - Master Yoda nodded in agreement.

- Free early you are, Master Kenobi. May the force be with you two.

***********

All I could hear from (Y/N) was quiet sobs. She didn't close the door, weirdly enough. The problem she had must be really serious.

- (Y/N)? Is everything all right? - no one answered.

She wasn't in the bedroom or anywhere else. I had one place left.

The balcony.

Not many rooms had balconies but (Y/N) being the romantic sweetheart she is request a modification on her quarters. This thought made memories come back. There were one of these nights when we were snuggled into each other's arms, she sitting in my lap at sunrise, forgetting what's reality like and making up our own beautiful fairy-tale:

- You know what, I think I could've been a princess. - laughed (Y/N).

- Mmm I sure agree. A crown will definitely suit you.

- And you, Mister Beard Man, you could be my knight, who rescues me from all evil in the galaxy, especially my boring royal duties. - whined the girl in my arms exadurating her words.

- Mister Beard Man? That's new.

This made her laugh. Her voice rang in my ears making me smile.

- I don't know, there is just something very alluring about your beard. - she blushed and poked my face.

- Is that so? - I kissed her forehead and played with her hair. She once again left out the purest laugh I've ever heard.

- Your beard is very ticklish.

- I know.

- What do you not know, Mister Beard Man.

- Can we stay like this forever?

The shylouette of this beautiful moment faded into the image of the grieving (Y/N). As I thought she was looking at the world outside, wearing a beautiful white dress. I rushed to her and tapped hed shoulder. She turned to me but I wasn't prepared for what I saw. Her painfull face, eyes red, black blood all over her front side of the dress.

- Darling...- I gasped and cupped her cheek. She grasped my hand and kissed it. My eyes wondered over her weak form. She looked so fragile yet her force was radiating something unnatural.

- Everything will be alright. I promise. - she whispered in a tired voice. Once she blinked her now toxic green eyes a tear of black blood rolled down her face.

- Wh-what is going on? What happened? Please, let me help you.- I panicked and hugged her tightly in my arms. She pulled away giving me a smile that quickly faded into her crying face more blood flowing.

- I did something so I can save us. Once this is over we will be free from all this.- cried out (Y/N) and draged her lightsaber to her blue hand with the force. - I just have to do one thing...

Her force shook and darkness consumed her.

She snapped.

But then a bit of light came back.

What did you do, my love..

- Obi... Listen. It's me. It's really (Y/N).- her eyes where back to their natural color for a moment. - I-I made a deal with Count Dooku and the Night Sisters...so that they can make us immortal. I had a vision...of you dying in my arms on the battlefield, I couldn't live with this thought, I had to do something, I can't lose my love. I made a deal, but they, they made me try a potion they prepared in exchange. They wanted to see how well it works. I was desperate, Obi-Wan. I could do anything to protect you...

- (Y/N)... Why didn't you tell me. We could've fought this nightmare together.

-It felt so real, Obi. It haunted me for days. I wasn't myself. The thought of losing you drove me insane, made me lose all logic in my actions. Fear took over me. The dark was calling me...

I remained silent, taking a memorable look at her features like it was the last time I was going to face my love, my life.

- You must be disappointed in me. Giving myself to the dark for something so foolish...

- I love you, (Y/N). - I said with tears in my eyes. - I love you and I must've said it long before. Now let me save you. You can't lose me and I can't lose you.

- There is no going back, Obi-Wan. I broke the rules in so many ways. I was weak in the face of my feelings...Please, always remember. I love you, too. I will always love you no matter what.

She ignited her (L/C) lightsaber. Eyes wicked. More tears. More blood.

This wasn't her anymore.

I lost her.

I lost her just like that.

Behind my back.

- I am so sorry...- I sobbed - I wasn't the knight I had to be.

(Y/N) motioned her lightsaber in front of me.

Raised it in the air.

- Kiss the old (Y/N) goodbye.

I shut my eyes.

I had to accept what was coming.

The force shattered.

But it wasn't me.

My love fell apart in front of me, her (L/C) lightsaber piercing through her.

- (Y/N)! - I screamed her name.

Quickly I picked up her barely breathing body in my arms. A boom from outside pierced my ears. Separatist ships.

- They are coming to our wedding, Obi-Wan. They will see love triumph...- (Y/N) kept saying things I couldn't listen to.

No, that wasn't her anymore. She was gone. Perhaps the last time I really saw her happy was that day. The sunrise reflecting her beauty. Her love flowing through her eyes, being so pure and sacred, spacial to us. These words that were coming from her lips now weren't hers. It just hurt more and more. Listening to what could've been if I payed attention. If I broke the code and no one learned. I could've saved her, damn it. Now I am losing her with every moment. I couldn't. I am broken. The only thing I can do...

I kissed her one last time. A deep kiss, holding all the unsaid words and not shared feelings. One last goodbye.

- I should've said so many things. I should've done so many things. I hope you would've said yes. But now I can only dream about this. You did so much for me and here is me. I was a selfish man, scared to cross a not important line. Nothing means more than our love and yet I didn't show it the way I should have. I was scared. I was weak in the face of our love, (Y/N). Like that I lost you long ago. And now you are really gone. My love, I lost you...- I cried holding her close to me, placing my head in the crook of her neck.

- I lost you...

Everything felt like a fairy-tale. So unreal. So inbelievable. That was the tragedy of our failed love. The last piece of my heart breaking into many pieces, enemy attacking my home and prison of my soul, her eyes closing forever...

At dawn.

The sun faded like her last tired breath.

================================

(A/N)

This is my first time writing angst and Mr. Stark I don't feel so good :")