Excuse any errors.

Anya in the mm. ❤️

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Friday.

Anya

"We all have scars and secrets."

I was falling in love, and to be honest I didn't want to stop this feeling, everything about Milo made me fall faster for him. It was like in the movies where the girl gets butterflies in her stomach, I wanted to tell him but was it too soon.

I felt around the sheets and noticed his side of the bed was cold, opening my eyes a little I gave my body a minute to adjust before turning over and noticing the bathroom light was on. Sitting up I got out of bed and let my feet carry me, knocking on the door I heard him say "Come in." so I opened the door.

He was holding a piece of tissue up to his nose. "Sorry I woke you." He said as I shook my head, I chuckled a little as his voice sounded congested.

"You're fine Lolo, you ok?"

"Nose bleed.I'll be alright though."

I kissed his cheek and handled my hygiene, it was going on 2 am so once we both finished up and got back into bed.

"Anya?"

"Yeah Lolo?"

I could hear him chuckling at the nickname I had given him.

"I need to tell you something.." He said wrapping his arm around me as we spooned.

"What is it?"

He let out a nervous breath as he drew circles on my thigh, I was surprised that he didn't notice the scars yet..I knew he'd ask questions and I'd be ready to answer them when the time came.

I went through a deep period of depression at one point in my life a few years ago..but I got help before it really took control over me.

"I felt like it was too early to tell you but...over the past couple of weeks I've been falling for you and I just wanted to say that you've change me in many way..You've been here through my constant switches, breakdowns, and moments where I didn't believe in myself...I just wanted to tell you that I love you."

I wasn't sure why I was tearing up but I sat up and wiping my eyes, I reached over and cut on the lamp and looked over at him. "You do?" I cleared my throat because my voice cracked.

He nodded his head and smiled. "Yes I do."

I lifted up a little and ended up straddling him, my hands were on his chest while his held my waist.

"I love you too.. I love you, Sai, Jaxon... Whoever you wanted to be that day I love all of you."

He smirked a little before licking his lips, I didn't give him a chance to say anything. I cupped his face with my hands and kissed his lips, I kissed him with all the love and care I had in me. It wasn't about sex, if it led to that so be it but I wanted to show him that I loved him so much and that he had nothing to worry about.

When I pulled away he scooted up wiped his eyes.

"Are you crying Lolo?"

He chuckled a little and sniffled. "I guess I am.. I've dated other women before I met you but.. They didn't understand me, they didn't show me the love that you do, from the moment I laid eyes on you I knew."

I pecked his lips a few more times before moving the blanket off of us, that's when he saw it.

"What's that on your leg Anya?" He furrowed his eyebrows and looked at my thigh, he leaned in a little closer as his eyes widened a little. I felt my heart sink, I mean I said I was gonna be ready but I wasn't expecting to have this conversation so soon.

He rubbed his fingertips across the scars and waited for me to speak.

"A few years ago I went through a really rough patch. I was depressed and contemplated taking my life but I was too scared to go through with it, I honestly don't even know why I was depressed it hit me like a ton of bricks and one day I was shaving and I broke of on my razors in half. It was really like I was having an out of body experience. I saw myself doing it but I knew once I had finished I was gonna feel better...at least that's what I thought."

I guess he knew it was getting too difficult to speak about so he laid me on my back and kissed the scars before kissing my stomach and leading himself to my lips.

"I'm glad you didn't go through with it.." He whispered before laying his head on my stomach, I wrapped my arm around him before reaching over to cut off the light. "I'm glad I didn't either." I muttered before feeling another kiss on my stomach.

We ended up sleeping past our alarms for class but we emailed our professors and let them know we both needed a mental health day and they understood. It was around 11:30 in the morning we we actually got ourselves together, we were currently sitting at the kitchen table eating Ihop that Milo ordered for delivery since he got up a little earlier than I did.

"Want some of my strawberries baby?" He asked as I nodded, he passed me his bowl and I put a few on my plate.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

"I heard that there's a party on campus tonight. Did you want to go?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't mind going, Jaxon likes parties and drinking so I'm sure he's gonna front." He chuckled as I smiled a little.

"Remind me to take my medicine after we eat. It'll probably ware off by the time the party starts though. What time?"

"I'm not sure. I have to ask my other friend Makayla, she invited Dre the guy I told you about."

"Oh ok cool. I'll go then." He said as I made a mental note to text Makayla, we didn't always talk but she knew who Milo and I were.

After we ate we ended up cuddling on the couch watching TV, he was quiet so I looked over at him. He was staring at the table, I looked up the correct term for it and it he was disassociating.

He was quiet for a few more seconds before trying to figure out where he was. "Hey, it's Jax... I think." He chuckled a little before putting his arm around me.

"You ok?"

"I'm straight ma. What are we watching?"

"I don't really know." I laughed as he shook his head.

"So he said it huh?"

"What?"

"Milo.. he said we loved you?"

"Yeah he did. I have a question."

He gave me his full attention. "What's up?"

"When someone front do you all watch what happens?"

"Sometimes yeah, when Milo's himself we normally just chill in the back of his mind.. but when he's nervous or dude just don't feel like talking one of us fronts."

"How many does he have?"

"4 right now but I think someone else is gonna pop up soon.." He shrugged. "Their just waiting for the right moment."

"Do you have an age? I know Atlas is 18." I said grabbing the remote from the table.

"Nah, I'm Milo's physical age which is twenty five and so are Sai and Zane when he was around.. I mean he's still around but he doesn't come out often anymore." He said stretching and groaning a little.

"This is so interesting, we haven't talked about DID yet in class but I know we will. I just wanted to know more about it so I could help you guys out."

"Damn you're amazing Anya."

"Aw you think I'm amazing?"

"Nah I take it back. You're doing too much." He laughed as I pushed him playfully.

"Nah for real though. I feel like you're gonna help a lot of people out." He leaned over and kissed my lips before I laid my head on his lap, he ran his fingers through my hair which made me sleepy.

"Are you ready for the party tonight?"

"I mean... I don't know.. It's been a while since we actually went to one."

"If you don't wanna go we don't have to.. I won't force it. We can have our own party, just the two of us." I smiled.

"You wanna just smoke and chill out then?" He asked me as he stood up.

"I'm down for it. Oh! and we can go get snacks." I said standing up, I needed to use the restroom anyway.

He furrowed his eyebrows before laughing. "Yeah we can bae."

"Take your medicine Jax."

He sucked his teeth. "Man-"

"I'm reminding you like Milo asked so go take it." I said as we walked toward the bathroom. I handled by business while he took his medicine.

I grabbed my car keys the threw on a hoodie and leggings. "You coming with me?"

"Yeah I'll ride bae."

"You and this bae." I laughed.

"You want me to call you shorty like Dre did?.. Bum ass nigga." He mumbled but I heard him.

I stale faced him. "Jaxon."

"I'm just playing ma." He said in a raspy voice before clearing his throat.

I rolled my eyes playfully and chuckled before putting on my shoes and he threw on a windbreaker with no shirt on.

"You're gonna freeze."

"I'll be straight. Come on." He motioned for me to follow him outside.

"You wanna drive Jax?"

"Nah, I like watching you drive, looking all cute when you're focused and shit."

I busted out laughed. "Really." I said as he laughed, he sounded like a baby goat grunting a little.

Getting into the driver Jaxon got in the passenger seat and looked at me. "Don't kill us man."

"Shut up!" I whined putting my head down as we both laughed. "Acting like I can't drive." I pouted.

"Have you seen yourself dive? hitting curbs as shit." He snickered and I poked my bottom lip out.

"Jaxon." I whined again and he sucked his teeth. "Stop that whining shit, you ain't not damn baby." He said furrowing his eyebrows.

I sighed and started the car. "I'm not gonna kill us."

"Aight.. we'll see."

After getting some snacks we headed back to the apartment, we ended up ordering a few boxes of pizza as well. It felt like time had flown by because it was now going on 3 in the afternoon.

We ended up watching the all of the Friday movies and now we were watching The Wood, we shared a blunt and Jax was rolling up his second on.

"Aw I wanna get married one day." I blurted out as he looked at me.

"What type of wedding you want? Big or small?"

"Small since my family won't be there." I shrugged.

"Hmm. Ok."

"Why?"

"Because I'm gonna marry you."

"How do you know that?" I chuckled as he gave me a serious look.

"I just know.. Trust me." He licked his lip and motioned for me to come over to him. He sat the rolled blunt in the table and rubbed my chin with his thumb.

"I guess I finally came around. I trust you and I know you won't hurt us." He said kissing my lips.

"I never will." I said pulling away from.

We smoked another blunt together and watched a few more movies.

This was way better than any party.

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😭🥰