Chapter 8

Harry's POV

**a few hours later**

So after coming out of the bathroom, I found the boys sitting around the tv playing video games. Niall asked if I wanted to join in, I shook my head no, and sat on the couch. Louis kept looking at me strangely but I didn't know why, he'd glance at me every so often and mumble something then ignore me for a while. I know I've upset him and I feel horrible...I wanted him to like me, haha, there goes my only chance...I could've made a good impression but things didn't turn out like I'd planned. If only I wasn't....me. Why would he love someone like me?

I sat there admiring Louis, he's just so perfect...and I'm not...I'm just a depressed guy who cuts himself....I'll never be worth anything to anyone, let alone Louis. I just don't see how he "liked" me on the XFactor and now he's completely different...not just more mature but something's changed and I can tell...or maybe worse, it's not him who changed, it's me. I rubbed my eyes trying to hold back tears, I have no reason to cry, do I?

"Harry why were you in the bathroom so long?" Niall asked, looking up from the tv and back at me.

I swallowed hard before saying "don't know"

He looked at me funny and shook his head. I wish Niall hadn't brought that up because Liam nodded his head saying "yeah, Harry you were in there a while, you ok?"

"I'm fine" I mumbled, biting my lip and glaring at him, causing him to stop questioning me. This is my life why do they think it's any of their business to know exactly what I'm doing 24/7? I'm old enough to take care of myself, I don't need four other people telling me what I can and can't do all of the time. They act like I'm a child, I don't have to obey them, I can do what I want. It's usually Liam who tells us what to do, but Zayn can be bossy sometimes, like the other day he told me I had to clean up my room before we left for the signing, what the heck?! Why do they tell me what to do ALL the time.

I glanced at Louis again. He's so perfect....why do I have to feel this way about him? Why? Ugh....and the worst part is I know he'll never feel the same way about me...

Oh great he just caught me staring at him again...ok I need to stop.

I pulled out my phone, hoping it would take my mind off Louis. I decided to check my twitter, I know the boys say I shouldn't go read bad comments, but, today I was feeling useless, so there wasn't much that would upset me. I logged onto my account, I had at least 100 messages/comments. Almost 90% of the tweets were people saying how much they hated me....a girl wrote "I would've liked One Direction if Harry wasn't in the band" that really hurt...how can so many people hate me? I wiped my eyes as tears began streaming down my face.

"You ok?" Zayn asked, sounding a bit concerned.

"I'm fine" I said, my voice cracking. I bit my lip and continued reading the comments. I knew I was going to start bawling like a baby, and I didn't want to be made fun of so I went to my room. I threw my phone at the wall and sat on the floor. Tears filled my eyes, how can these people hate me so much? I've never done anything to them? They don't know me, they don't know what I'm like, I honestly think I'm quite a nice person, I wonder if they knew I cut myself...then would their minds change? Or would that just be another reason for them to make fun of me? I sat there sobbing a minute or two, when there was a knock on the door.

"Can I come in?"

It was Louis...I wasn't sure if I wanted to speak to him, I didn't, but part of me did. I wish he could just hold me in his arms and make everything better...I don't know why but he's always made me feel safe...well used to anyways, I'm not even sure if he still wants to be my friend....

Hey guys :3 I'll try to write another chapter in little bit, I have to eat supper lol