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I came back from buying bread and airtime to a match already set--

On the benches under the big tree, in the mid-afternoon sun shining hot and bright in the slums of Gauteng--

Nebula's grandparents are facing off again over a situation that truly speaking has absolutely nothing to do with them.

I mean no offense to abantu abadala but grand grand only two people should be making decisions here, and that's me and Vivid. Instead of just being asked for our opinions, we should be settling this between the two of us.

Luckily he didn't bring the whole brigade today, it's just him and his parents one of which is not even trying to be amicable.

Then it's my mom and I, and one of the things I love about her is this cool exterior thing she does when she's absolutely pissed-- always calm and collected. Cool as a cucumber.

I know she is dying to lay this woman but her beliefs and good upbringing have her just staring her down with the most bored expression I've ever seen on her face.

Today, I'm doing the talking and setting the record clear as the one woman here who carried that little girl inside of me.

I think Mam'Pinky might have mistaken my behaviour the other day and took me for some docile, meek little girl that they can fuck around with.

She should know better at this point, I've made it clear before that no matter how much they hate me and go out of their way to show me, the only reason they're still standing on their little pedestals around this township is because my baby is still safer with them than she is with me...

As soon as that's no longer anymore, God forgive me but I'm going to shit on this woman the likes of which have never been seen before.

I'm at my tipping point, I've withstood too much and taken too much from her. The things she and her kids have said and done to me have brought my own mother to tears on more than one occasion.

Now she is here in her Truworths dress, sitting in my chair and looking down at me from the corner of her fucking dumb nose, unnecessarily twirling the keys of her BMW, iPhone clutched in her hand...

She's here threatening to take me to court over my own child, "I can very easily proof how unfit of a parent you are and have your rights taken away Enhle," She says with malice.

"Ma-" That's Vivid's weak attempt to call her to order. He looks as sick of her shit as I am, just in a very exhausted.

However, my focus is on this woman who she thinks she knows me because she had some hand in raising me--- thinks she's playing on my weak spots, pressing my buttons, since she knows I don't have the money for a lawyer.

"Mam'Pinky, I don't think I can make it any clearer than I have," I've leaned in a bit to still show respect, "There's really nothing more I can say."

There's actually so much more but I'm firm on the fact that my child is not changing her surname and complicating her life with unnecessary nonsense.

Besides the fact that I don't want her to have a different surname from me, it's the only thing that she has of me over there and I know it's not anything really but it gives me peace of mind that I'll get her back with me eventually and that she'll always remember who she is if I fail to...

Also, it makes the red tape of having a child all the more difficult when we have different surnames. I'd have to provide additional proof at all times that she's really my child, that I'm not kidnapping her or committing any fraud.

Why would I put us through all that just to make them happy when they wouldn't even try to be considerate of me as a person?

"And I'm saying you should really reconsider," Mam'Pinky purses her lips, "You're the smart one akere? The girl that went all the way to top universities..."

Wow.

I look at Bab'Mooketsi who is shaking his head at the ground. Vivid looks like he'd rather be anywhere but here, and Mam'Ntombi is passing a loaded look..

"Ma, we've said last time and I've said it again that I'm all for the customs and rituals. I'll do my part in helping Nebula through it all," I'm not against culture, "But Mam'Pinky also keep in my mind that I'm the one that runs around with that little girl, I'm the one who fills the paperwork for anything--"

"Lebone can do all that, it'll be easier for him as well if they had the same surname," She quickly cuts me off.

Slowly pissing me off..

"So I should make life easier for him by making it harder for me? And that makes sense?" I'm catching an attitude now.

"He's the one taking care of her day to day, you could help him a little..."

"And I carried her for nine months and four days, did he help me out then?" I know she's not playing this game with me, "What was he doing then? Please, tell me Mam'Pinky, when you passed me in the middle of the icy, winter morning rain when I was eight months pregnant, you in that brand new BM. After I trudged through the water here to walk all the way across the township to the clinic...where was Lebone?"

They share an uncomfortable look and shift about awkwardly since their perfect son is never without any faults...

"And the night I went into labour and we tried calling him nonstop, where was he? What was he doing?"

"That's not the point Enhle---"

"Mam'Pinky--"

"Enhle..."

She cannot be serious right now.

"Wasn't he busy your best friend Pinky? Bathi ubani? uEvelyn?" Mam'Ntombi only pipes up to stoke the fire.

She's probably sick of this woman sitting here like her son is all perfect and I'm the one who ruined his life.

Lebone has scandals on scandals on scandals, many of which only I know about as his best friend but I won't air them out to prove a point.

"Ntombi, watch yourself," Mam'Pinky warns.

"Pinky, andikoyiki mna," Mam'Ntombi is ready to throw hands

Okay...

"Let's everybody just calm down," Bab'Mooketsi intervenes to lessen the bubbling tension, "There's no need for all this, we are solving nothing and you are making this harder than it needs to be."

This one has sense, how he married that one is beyond me.

"Papa, this girl is not getting away with this--"

"With what ma?" Vivid interjects then, "She didn't get pregnant by herself, we both did it. Nebula belongs to both of us equally, there's nothing that she's getting away with here--"

"You are sitting at home, raising a child like o shule pelo while she's out in the city all hours of the night doing God knows what," Mam'Pinky counters quite angrily.

I get that she thinks it makes her only son look weak, sitting at home and taking care of the baby while the baby mama is living her best life.

It's unheard of in our society, bit of a taboo actually.

The girl, no matter how young, is the one who usually drops out of school and leaves everything to stay at home and struggle to raise the baby while the guy carries on living his life like nothing happened.

Vivid is the one who's supposed to be out here, finishing school and partying it up in the city with different girls every week. He's the one who's supposed to be working a good job, and paying me child support while giving little to no actual support with raising his child.

I'm not supposed to be chasing success or betterment of any kind--I'm supposed to be dusty and dirty, living off government grant and struggling to care for my supposed-to-be-actively dying mother and spending my days looking after my daughter, while pestering them every month for child support.

The way it seems to her now, I'm the one who took advantage of her son and ruined his life. Especially since she always thinks that people are out to destroy their name and family.

I'd have thought she'd know better...

Know me better...

"Mam'Pinky, for the last time I didn't take advantage of Lebone. And he didn't take advantage of me. No one set out to ruin anyone's life, Nebula is the consequence of some blurred lines in our life long friendship, but she comes from deep love and she didn't ask to be here, and it's because it's not her fault she was born that I've been keeping my mouth shut about a lot of things..."

Her perfectly trimmed and shaded eyebrow lift up as she looks from my mother to me--I know she's thinking she's seeing a younger version of her ex best friend right now.

She used to tell me how much alike we are, back when she used to say it with fondness and not the animosity of late. She completely changed when Nebula came about.

"Even when you're at my house for the umpteenth time, spitting in my face right in front of my mother yet again ..." I'm sick of this, "Lebone is taking care of his child, it's his duty as well. I'm not going to feel guilty about it and I'm certainly not going to applaud a fish for swimming I mean come on."

No matter how much I miss her, and how much I want her by me all the time... I refuse to feel guilt like my baby is a burden.

"As you shouldn't," Lebone adds in.

Mxm.

"Do the rituals ma, lobolo her or not, it's okay either way. But no to the surname and I won't say it again," My voice is a little hard, "It won't make your son any better..."

"Enhl--"

"That's what this is all about, you're trying to save your son's face but we both know he has sins deeper than having a child out of wedlock, accept that and move on. Now," I shift closer to get this point clear, "My child is nothing but a blessing, and I'd advice you to enjoy her while you still can. You don't have to like me, or need to grow up and squash whatever beef you have with Mam'Ntombi. This is not about us, if we are being honest..."

"It's about Nebula," Lebone says, "I've been saying that her well being comes before any and all of us."

"And at all times, we should do what is right for her," I go on, "uLebone undimithisile sharp, fine and now we are forced into such situations. Together. Because we did this together, Nebula is ours together--"

"And you named her Nebula without consulting him--"

"Ma--" Lebone admonishes his mom.

"Because he wasn't there, was he?" Mam'Ntombi jumps in with a sneer.

"Ma," Now I'm the one admonishing mine.

We are about to reach a final conclusion and there's no need to drudge up the past.

Lebone and I are past all that now, we have the future of our human to think of.

"Lebone, do you have anything else to say before I close this gathering?" I'm not going to repeat the same thing all day.

Lebone shakes his head and looks at the ground.

"Bab'Mooketsi?" I ask his dad.

He looks as exhausted as his son.

I know he doesn't like trouble and drama but somehow ended up with a woman like uMam'Pinky for a wife. He's never the one for scandals or fights, I don't think anyone can say a bad word about him.

"Well, Enhle ngwanaka I apologize for everything that us as a family have put you through--" He starts in that mild, calm manner of his.

"Papa--" Mam'Pinky is about to jump out of her chair.

"Mma Mooketsi, please," But uBab'Mooketsi is having none of it, "We'll talk at home. Aus'Ntombi, to you there's nothing I can say to make anything better. An apology doesn't seem sufficient but I do hope that eh... I do hope that as time goes we can get back to a place... where we can think about rebuilding."

His voice carries an authority that only a head of a family, a father can carry. He punctuates, his is the final word.

Mam'Pinky can go fly.

"But the point here is the we all agree that we can dedicate the child and introduce her to the family, she is our child and she doesn't need to have the same name for that. She's a girl, it's going to change anyway so let's not make it such an issue," He pointedly glares at Mam'Pinky on that part.

There's a pause to make sure it sinks in that he's done with this shit.

"Now before we ruin things further between our two families, I think we should take our leave and let this be the conclusion on all things concerning this matter," Bab'Mooketsi suggests, "We will of course keep you involved in everything we do and we will keep in touch. Lebone, anything you want to add?" He seems annoyed with him.

They've never quite seen eye to eye, not since we were like thirteen years old. Lebone did not grow into the man he had hoped he'd be.

Vivid clears his throat before glancing around and dropping his gaze, "I don't want to come here and have this conversation again, and again without any progress, we need to move on and do what's right for Nene," He too pointedly turns to his mom, "And ma, I told you we came up with that name together. It's a sentiment for us both..."

....

"Is that it?" I ask after a too long of a pause from him because that can't be it.

"No, as her father it is important to me that we have the same surname," He starts, "But right now, its not the most impending issue. The ceremonies are, let's get that out of the way and talk after everything has settled down."

That's just what Bab'Mooketsi said but okay...

"But how are you going to bring a child to the family, and ask the Mooketsi ancestors to protect her and provide for her when she has a different name?" Mam'Pinky asks.

"The blood is the same," Mam'Ntombi answers her.

"Is it?" She is just being vile now.

"Yes it is," Lebone answers firmly.

"Then why is it such an issue to give her your name?"

Lebone rolls his eyes and shifts closer to his mother, "Ma you know I'd never want to defy or disrespect you in any way but I need you to stop now before you really say things you'll want to take back."

Bab'Mooketsi stands up before Mam'Pinky opens her mouth again and Lebone follows suit.

"It'll be about a month before we start preparations, Ma Olifant so we will let you know officially," He addresses my mom with respect, "And I think we should take the time to calm down and think about what's really important, it is not our personal feelings toward one another or anything that happened before that child was born."

Mam'Ntombi is on her feet trying her best to be gracious to the people whose heads she wants to skewer and display on spikes by the gate.

"Imani, Ma Olifant," Bab'Mooketsi bids us farewell, "We will keep in touch, akere?"

"Yebo baba," I respond with a nod.

Mam'Ntombi walks with them, leading them to the gate while exchanging those pleasant ellipsis goodbyes.

Mam'Pinky is the last to the stand and fix her pale khaki, wrap dress.

I make it up to my feet too.

We are face to face, woman to woman and forgive me but if she says one more bad word to me then I have no choice but to set her straight. Elder or not.

"There you go refusing my help again," She says faux casually.

I match her tone, "Well I know first hand how much you charge for those, and I'm not interested."

She huffs, "You have some nerve today, I see. Is it what those men said that makes you feel safe? You should know better than to think I won't get my way."

I walk her to the gate behind the others, "And you should know better than to think my nerve is new or temporary. You practically raised me ma, remember?"

"Which is how I know you better than both those men and your mother combined," She boasts, "I know how ambitious you are, I know how you'll do absolutely anything to get your family out of this place."

"And you think your son was the way I tried to do it?"

"Well, you're working in the city and he's at home so..."

"And I'm still in this township so...".

She smiles not so nicely, "So maybe you are not as smart as you think you are."

Another person underestimating my brain.

Didn't Mr Sin imply the same thing the other day when he was beat up and being an ass?

"Yet you think I'm smart enough to trap Lebone.."

"Lebone is not as smart as I," She banters, "He doesn't see through this facade of yours, your little nose in the air like you're better than everyone."

Another thing that the Mr Sin said. Do they know each other? Is he feeding her lines through an earpiece or?

"Mam'Pinky, we both know I proved a long time ago that I am better than all of you," Modesty is for the meek, "Don't forget that I know you too, and if you weren't my child's grandmother..." I chuckle dryly.

We're right by the gate now, and the men are by the car waiting for her. Mam'Ntombi is standing to the side, making sure everything stays civil until they leave.

"And, ma..." I lean in closer, "If you ever threaten to take my daughter from me again or as much as sniff near a lawyer I will make sure that you never set eyes on that little girl for rest of your natural life."

"Enhl--"

"That's a threat Mam'Pinky. In case that was not clear," I hold the gate open for her as the sun beats down on me, "And before you think of retaliating, I'd advice you to think about it clearly. I can live with my daughter, your son can't live without ever seeing her again."

I'd never use Nebula to threaten Vivid but his mother, well she set the rules from the get go so no holds barred.

"That's my child," I grit through clenched teeth as she passes through the gate, "You have the privilege of watching her grow. Just stay in your lane like a normal grandma... That's all you have to do. And for the record, only my mother calls me Enhle."

She opens her shiny car door and I close my wirey gate behind her.

"To you it's Imani," I say hooking the wires closes, "Use it, it might save your life one day."

I turn and walk back with my mother without giving her a chance to respond, couldn't look at that face with her nose on her forehead any second longer.

She thinks I'm going to beg her like the sixteen year old who used to show up on her doorstep, willing to do anything just to keep her little brother safe.

She used to take advantage of me I know that, making me slave all hours of the week on her catering business and turning it into the national empire it is today all the while bursting my ass in high school just to at least get bursaries to put me through university.

I also used to make assorted cloth covers, place mats and the like for her, for free I might add.

I've spent more time with her than I did my own mother and the things she used to make me do as pay back...

She thinks she knows me, knows what I'm capable of, my threshold and limits, she thinks she knows which buttons to press to get me to do shit.

She doesn't know I always have another card to play---

Zayn came through with the location and time for that job thing he talked about.

It's all in my hands now.

I'm smart, I can talk my way into a small position, I can't afford to be picky. And I'm a hard ass worker, they'd be lucky to have me.

I still don't trust this whole niceness thing he's doing with me, I still think I'm just a pawn in whatever game he and his brother are playing but none of that-- not him, not his brother, nothing is more important than Nebula.

I'll put up with anything to make sure that she's safe fiedt and foremost, and that I have her by me as soon as possible before those people do any more damage to her.

I'm desperate.

A little, dangerous game between two powerful brothers is a small price to pay.

I am going to stick here like a tick for as long as I can, I have a family to take care of and a child to raise-- I shall not be judged for my choices.I will hang on and play along for as long as I can get my family out of this place.