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Vivid called me yesterday to tell me that his family wanted to talk.

Naturally, I told them to come to me. If it were under different circumstances then I'd have no problem crossing the tracks for them but since they want to take my child away, they can come find me.

I used Mam'Ntombi's health as an excuse, it was her idea not mine.

Now if you think my temper is shorter than Chris Brown's life in Stomp The Yard... then you have yet to meet the woman I get it from.

We will try to be amicable because we have DNA in common with those sons of bitches but nobody is taking Nene away from me, that I swear on my momma.

I just need to....prolong, evade until something bears fruit with those jobs Zayn told me about. That's where I'm placing all my hope because at this point I can't fill another Z83 form. I don't have the money to apply for work, job hunting is a job itself and it hardly ever pays.

I just need a little time... a couple of weeks. I hope God is on my side on this one.

The Mooketsis are due in an hour or so but I've been up all morning cleaning and preparing food.

I might not have any uncles but I wasn't raised by animals.

I will not give them the satisfaction of saying a bad word about me or Mam'Ntombi.

The house is spotless, the yard is as clean as soil can be and I have cooked them that seven colours Sunday meal-- had to wake up and go to the market for the veggies I wanted, the Pakistani at the tuckshop only had onions.

I went all out and don't even get me started on my outfit...

It's not that dress I wore to lunch, it's a bit more conservative and its beige, long sleeved and matches the doek I wrapped my hair under even though they didn't come together.

Then I have simple sandals because I also won't let them think I'm that I'm nothing short of a good mother, that I'm a street thing because I had a kid with their kid -- why girls are always judged by guys aren't is complete bullshit but that's a fight for another day...

I mean I know I have it all stacked against --- baby at an early age out of wedlock, I work in the city, I work nights in the city and all my friends in the city.

Then I happen to be pretty, which is somehow also factor with the fact that I dress nice, that dress that made a whole billionaire ask me out is all the evidence, and it's all suspect. Where does a girl of my social standing get the money to look down? Never mind that I make most of my clothes and the really nice stuff are hand me downs from those same city friends.

But I'm always away at night, I'm always in the city all night, I'm pretty and I look good so I must be some kind of whore unfit to take care of their child not to mention my mother is slowly dying of AIDS and I don't have a father.

I know what that's what they think of me because those are some of the reasons that they've spat in my face long before I even shared a kiss with Lebone.

It used to bother me so much and it still does, I don't even care if it's the truth... I just... I don't need to be reminded every seconds about my shit of a life, my brain does that every second of every day... I don't need someone else to do it especially these shit ass black people who have a little more money and somehow think they're better than everyone else.

You wouldn't think we share train tracks by the way they all think they're better than everyone this side.

For the sake of Nene, I'll play my part as I always do-- I'm her mother but they better play theirs too because I'll always be her mother.

Mam'Noni who insisted on showing up for support, apparently it doesn't look good it being just me and my mom, and she doesn't want them thinking I don't have people... she's the first one spot them while we're waiting and shit talking them.

She's even more pissed than my mom, says I shouldn't have cooked for them and cooldrink is more than they deserve.

They have no idea what they're in for.

The silver Mercedes one of the one of the G's, Rea tried teaching me but well, one of them squeezes at snail's pace through our side's narrow streets, better be careful not be bring anyone's yard down I guess. Or not to get a scratch, it is a Mercedes after all.

So we just wait and look at them, Mam'Ntombi, Mam'Noni and I. After a while we stop talking and watch the expensive car swing left and right, all uncomfortable.

Mam'Noni mumbles something about me going to get more chairs which I do, the three of us will share a bench and they'll get the kitchen chairs.

When I come out with the first two chairs they've made it to the gate and the doors are opening, gives me the opportunity for head count because I also have to get glasses for cooldrink.

I place the chairs before my mom and wait to greet back, it'll be rude if I went back to get more chairs while they're already out of the car when they came here for me.

It's three older men, one I recognize as Lebone's dad then two older women -- thank goodness his sisters didn't come with and there he is. Stupid, yellow and the father of my child.

I don't know how he got me but he did. That low voice, lip licking thing he does wore me down. He's a kasi wetdream this one.

I'm about to go get more chairs as soon as they start getting by the gate with Lebone's already in the yard... but my little buula gets out of the car and I just want to die and dance.

I barely get out a proper greeting to the elders before I practically bolt off to her.

She comes bouncing towards me like a little ball of pure light, wide milk teeth smile, shouting, "Mamaaaaa!"

I have to physically restrain my tears, I missed her so much I feel like my soul is tearing apart...

And the second I clutch that warm, little body in my arms, I feel myself just break. A rush of warmth runs through my body and I just squeeze her little tighter.

I can't believe she's right here in my arms right now. I didn't know Lebone was going to bring her.

I kiss her little perfect face making her giggle then kiss her little and squish her against my chest again.

My little baby.

She's so big. When did she get so big?

"Hey mama," She says as soon as I've calmed down.

"Hey Nene," I can't stop grinning.

"Hey mama," She giggles again.

"Hey Nene," I repeat and kiss her little, chocolate cheeks. She's perfect, I can't.

I remember to turn and greet the elders, I only know Lebone's parents. I don't know the other three, they're probably the uncles from Mahikeng.

I can't believe I procreate with a Tswana, now I'm dealing with nonsense.

They can all leaves now anyway, as long as this one is in my arms I'm okay.

I excuse myself to go get more chairs but uBab'Mooketsi is having none of it and sends Lebone instead.

I take a seat next to my mom while they exchange pleasantries since they have history, Mam'Noni is on the other side being cordial for now.

The conversation falls into that thing elders do...

"Ja."

"Ee."

"Ja."

"Eish."

The ellipsis of black elders, and Vivid couldn't come out of the house with four chairs soon enough.

He's been packing them up to carry easier. He gives three to the men still standing, his mom and aunt sat down on the two that were already here and he brought one for himself as well.

Lebone's dad is the first one to speak, leaning and cupping his foreman as a form of respect, "Ee, we are ba rra Mooketsi and we are here because our son here, but eh... we were under the impression that we'll be meeting with the uncles."

Mam'Ntombi shakes her head, "This was very short notice baba, we only heard about it yesterday."

"Yesterday? We told Lebone to plan it a long time ago," Lebone's mom speaks up and they all glare at him.

He was just buying me time I asked for, we exchange a look that means exactly that, poor thing.

"We can reschedule..." One of his uncles suggests.

They look like your typical uncles, chiskop and beer belly.

"No, it's okay," Mam'Ntombi responds calmly, "They won't say anything we won't. Enhle, go get the cooldrink."

I do as I'm told, dragging Nene with because I just can't stop looking at her.

Our kitchen and living are kind of an open floor plan so after we pass by the couches and where we used to have t.v before Sphe sold it, we're in the kitchen where I'm pulling and rinsing glasses whlle my little chocolate gumdrop thinks she's actually talking.

But I catch a word here and there to which I respond appropriately.

She's wearing these little delela shorts I got for her, a white shirt under with white Nike Air Forces which I didn't buy but one of her aunts is good at braids and has her looking fresh and tight with the baby hairs.

And she looks too adorable, fruit of my womb. Look at my baby, clean intestines will give you that.

As soon as I get the 2l bottle out of fridge, she insists on helping me carry it. It is basically the same size as her but she is determined so I let march on her little legs while I follow behind with a tray of glasses.

Konje ke mna I'm just a bartender everywhere I go? Now my daughter is following my footsteps?

Asoze. I'd rather die.

I'm placing the tray down on the log we use as an outside table when I hear my mother say--

"And as I said, this is Enhle's decision, she is the child's mother."

"But what do you say as her mother?" Another of Lebone's uncles asks.

"As her mother, I still say she's the only one who can make that decision," Mam'Ntombi is on point.

Nene and I are busy fighting over opening the bottle of cooldrink. I know she just wants to make the sound, it makes her laugh but she doesn't have the strength to twist the cap open.

But she won't let me help.

"But do you agree with what bo malome here have been saying?" Lebone's mom's tone is just off.

Mam'Ntombi looks at her, "I mean I understand how you came to that decision but hee kalok I don't think my opinion matters."

"She's your daughter, what do you mean? You have to advice her to do the right thing," Lebone's mom presses.

"I do advice her to do right thing. For her. I can't make the decisions for her--"

"Uhh... maybe we should ask the girl," His aunt suggests, tempering whatever storm is brewing between my mom and his.

Just as I trick Nene by pressing my hand over her small, soft one to twist the cap. The cap breaks with that tssshhh sound and she loses it.

So easily amused.

After I finish pouring into the glasses, she replaces the cap and tries to make it make that sound again.

"Perhaps we can hear from the boy also," MamNoni counter suggests, "He's the father and he's sitting there just quiet as a mouse."

Vivid clears his throat and moves closer all shy and respectful, "Nna I understand what my uncles are saying."

Wait, that's it?

"So you just understand, you don't disagree?" Even his dad asks.

Lebone just shrugs dumbly, "I agree to an extent, yeah I'm Nene's primary care giver and she's more Mooketsi than Olifant. There are ceremonies we can't perform without paying lobola for her..."

Oh he was serious then?

I finish passing out the drinks with Nebula in town then I sit down on the bench and face Lebone plus he's next to me.

"Enhle, what do you say?" Lebone's mom asks in a way that makes me regret looking up to her when I was younger.

"Well, ma I'm not opposed to ceremonies even if you don't pay lobolo--"

"No lobola has to be paid," They say together.

"That whole process?" Mam'Ntombi asked.

"Yes, there has to be a slaughter," They say nodding together again.

Bethuna.

"Well, I'm okay with that but my child is not changing surnames while her mother is unmarried, and I'm not saying Lebone should marry me," I add quickly when I see his mom open his mouth, "It's just I think the surname thing is going to cause problems when I eventually come for her."

I did not give them my daughter, I lended her to them out of pure necessity and desperation.

But things are starting to look up, I may actually have a shot at getting the lot of us out here--providing a proper for her, a home with me.

"But lets get one thing straight," Mam'Ntombi calls firmly, "Enhle did not give her child up to party and have fun, she entrusted her daughter with her father because she works all the time."

"Works at the clubs in the city all of hours of the night," Lebone's mom huffs, "She doesn't have a real job."

Oh wow. Alright then Mrs Mooketsi.

"As opposed to what your daughters do Pinky? Running around with Nigerians and--"

"Okay, I think maybe we should get some food now..." I don't need all this in front of Nene right now, I need these adults to behave and reach a favourable conclusion.

Arguing is not going to get us anywhere, animosity is productive or conducive to anything useful.

This is not about them, who's the better mother and raised the best daughter-- obviously Mam'Ntombi wins hands down. But this is about what is best for Nebula.

"Yes, some food will do us good," The uncles says.

And Mam'Noni huffs as well, "Enhle is a great cook, you're in for a treat.

"I know she's a great cook but we have a matter to sort out here," Lebone's mom speaks up again.

"Ma Mooketsi akere we will talk just fine after we eat," Lebone's dad speaks up as well.

This is some bullshit.

"Well, the food won't go down right until I know that my son's things are in order," She says back.

"Angithi we'll talk when we eat," Mam'Noni suggests again..

"We shouldn't talk heavy stuff while digesting," The aunt decides to speak all of a sudden, "But for Pinky's sake, let's solve this first then eat after."

Pinky can't just chill for a second?

"I think we reached a conclusion," Mam'Ntombi is not about to entertain nonsense, "Enhle says she's okay with what you people want to do as the paternal family of the child, that we understand. We are black people, we are African. The child always belongs to the father's family..."going 0

That we've sorted out. It's culture, inkcubeko, there's nothing we can do about it.

"But the surname change is not happening," Mam'Noni jumps in, "The only way that will change her surname is if her mother changes her surname."

And that's that on that.

There's a moment of silence after Mam'Noni speaks.

My mom and Lebone's mom exchange looks before the look around everyone else who's keeping their mouths shut.

I wait to hear the verdict because I am actually lowkey hungry and I'd love some food.

Nene is leaning on me still playing with the cooldrink bottle and her father is just staring at the ground as he has been for the majority of this meeting.

"Well then," Mrs Mooketsi says standing up with deep breath, "Think it over and we'll reschedule, and we'll talk it over then?"

"We're not going to eat?" Mr Mooketsi asks in disappointment.

"There's food at home."

"I don't think there's anything to think, Enhle is firm on her decision. Right Enhle?" Mam'Ntombi asks looking up at Lebone's mom.

I mean, yeah I'm firm on the surname thing but rescheduling is good. Rescheduling means sufficient time to squeeze myself into a job at that company of Mr Sin's, even if it's just another cleaning position--

I won't have to see Mr Sin and I bet it has more actual benefits than cleaning that suite.

Everyone is looking to me for a response.

"Rescheduling is a good idea..."

Mam'Ntombi scowls at me but luckily says nothing although I know I'll be hearing about it tonight.

I just... okay, yes the child is theirs whether I'm married or not, they'll always be a part of her and that comes with whatever ancestral nonsense they have in their bloodline. Can't do much about that.

But neither of them are this child's mother, I am. Neither of them carried her for 9+ months, I did. Neither of them had to break their vagina in half to get her out safely into this world, I did.

Anything I do is to ensure her safety, health and happiness.

"Well then.." The aunt says and they do that long goodbye thing that elders do.

I excuse myself to go get some of the things I've bought for Nene over the past few weeks, she comes with and so does her dad.

We're on my bed, going through plastic bags of a million stuff because I always go overboard when I shop for my baby---there are nappies, clothes, toys, a mountain of pink.

"Askies ntwana, that was just a Pinky and Ntombi show.. I don't why their beef--"

"Yoh, Lebone... just give me a few minutes with my daughter without any drama tuu," I stop him right there because if it was not for this little girl then those old people would've known my true colours.

"I know you're trying to keep it together--"

"And you're doing absolutely nothing to help."

"Papa, bona," Nebula picks up a game station and shows her dad, "E yaka mama?"

I grin and brush her plaited little head with my hand. I don't even know what a game station is but it's the only high tech thing I could afford.

She's already talking a lot at two and is too smart for building blocks of anything I've bought this far.

"Dankie mama," Nebula exclaims excitedly, she loves new things just like her mama.

"I tried to buy you time," He says taking a seat on my bed, sandwiching our daughter between us.

"Yeah, you did your part," I purse my lips.

"You can't get mad at me," He runs his hand over his fresh fade. Who he's trying to look cute for, I don't know.

He always looks fresh, we have that in common and so does our daughter apparently.

"I can get mad at you for not doing what's right for our child."

"I am doing what's right for her. Just because we don't agree... look, you know there has to be dedication ceremonies and everything--"

"And I'm not opposed to that but why should she change names? I don't get that part and that's where we can't have a deal."

Lebone sighs and rubs his face, "It's not that big of a deal Imani."

"If it's not that big of deal then why can't you guys then let it go?" I'm Mam'Ntombi's kid, you don't play on my head.

"It doesn't work like that--"

"I thought you didn't agree with any of this shit," I cut him off quick..

"I didn't but I'm her father and I have to do what's right for her at all times," He goes on to say, "And if this is the only thing standing in the way of that then--"

"Then what my authi?" I finally fully focus on him.

He just breathes and stands up, "I can't, you're impossible."

"I can't be impossible, I exist," Now I'm just being annoying on purpose.

He packs up Nene's things and takes her by the hand... this time my heart tightens in my chest.

"Figure this out Enhle, rescheduling my ass. I'm not going through another round of Mma Mooketsi and Mma Olifant's high school drama, it's not helping anyone. Let me know soon what you decide--"

"My decision stands."

"Then I don't know then.. we'll see," He says before picking Nene up, "Ere bye bye nana."

"Bye bye mama," My Nene says with a huge grin.

She doesn't even cry anymore...