《Learn How To Love》"Don't Feel Your Feelings"

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The next morning:

You couldn't stop thinking about him.

This is bad, you thought. This was a contest you had to win. You couldn't get carried away with these... feelings. You had already planned exactly what to do with that money. It really wasn't a lot in the grand scheme of things, but $2,000 is just enough to get you on your feet. You already found a few apartments to look at in the next state over. You didn't need to go far, you just needed to get out. They were just spacious enough, but you compromised on most of your dreams since, well, you only have so much money.

*Buzz, buzz*

Your train of thought came to a stop when you checked your phone and saw a text from Steven.

Stop feeling your feelings, you told yourself.

Oh, right. You'd forgotten. At least you knew what you were doing now.

"Don't feel your feelings," although an odd phrase, became your inner mantra. You repeated it in your head over and over while you got ready, and you said it to your mirror reflection. You weren't going to let yourself lose that dream of getting out of your small town. Especially not to a boy. Even a really... cute one.

Fucking STOP FEELING YOUR FEELINGS

Shit.

You came outside to meet Steven, who was wearing his usual star shirt and pink jacket combo. Meanwhile, you wore a light floral blouse paired with a denim skirt that ended just above your knees. To wrap it all together, you wore your beat up white sneakers. Kind of basic, but comfortable.

Steven admired you from the driveway as you closed and locked the door behind you. To him, you were beautiful in everything you did. Especially the little things when you thought no one was looking. Playing with your hair, biting the inside of your cheek, smiling at something on your phone... He admired it all. In this case, locking your door and meeting him in your driveway.

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"Hey," Steven smiled.

As soon as you saw him, you knew you were done for. You were feeling your feelings, alright. So many feelings.

"Hi," you returned the smile. "Ready?"

"You know it," Steven grinned and chivalrously extended his elbow to you. You hooked your own arm in his and set off on your journey to the boardwalk.

Along the way, you started by talking about the talent show, and Beach City. Soon, the conversation drifted to you each exchanging stories about your lives in Beach City. Your favorite places, experiences, all the people you've met... etcetera. You talked and laughed the whole walk there, and all the while you never took your arm back.

💫

When you arrived, you saw pretty much exactly what you'd expect. There was a small mock-stage set up on the beach by the boardwalk where most of the town's biggest characters were gathered. Sadie and Shep had prepared a few new songs and named themselves "Shadie," Sour cream was DJ-ing, of course, Jenny and Kiki had some sort of twin-dance going on, Ronaldo was... lecturing on "rock people?", and Steven was duetting with Greg. Man, if they aren't the act to beat. There were even some gems from Little Homeschool.

You looked around at the huge group of people gathered by the stage, all practicing their acts. And felt a huge spike of anxiety pierce your chest. So many people, and so much talent. If you were going to do this, it was going to have to be bigger and better than you initially thought.

Luckily, it was barely a performance. Pretty much no one paid attention to anyone's unfinished acts besides Mr. Smiley, who approved everyone's acts-except Ronaldo's- who, in response to being rejected, hung his head and rolled his wheeled chalkboard off the stage.

So, when you sang, the only eyes on you were that of Steven and Mr. Smiley. The whole time, you brainstormed things to add to your act, ways to go above and beyond. Costumes, sets, sparklers, confetti cannons? No idea. Before you knew it, your turn was over and it was back to the drawing board.

💫

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