I sat at the table picking at a bowl of fruit and yogurt that Ray had made for me whilst they all ate eggs and toast or something similar. I kept quiet as Gerard talked with Lyn-Z at the other end of the table.

"Gerard, what are we doing today?" I asked. Gerard looked over at me.

"Well...." Gerard paused. Mikey shot him a look. Lyn-Z held his hand and nodded.

"We decided to put you back in school." Gerard continued.

"Didn't the others tell you?" I asked. Gerard shook his head and frowned. Mikey and Ray just smiled whilst Frank tried to hold back giggles.

"I have my GED already and I haven't got any interest in going to college. It happened because I got moved up a year in elementary school and my GPA was a solid 4.0 so they gave me it at the end of my junior year. You should read my file Gee." I explained. Lyn-Z smiled and nodded.

"What do you want to do with your life then?" Lyn-Z asked. Gerard looked at me cautiously whilst Ray, Mikey and Frank looked at me hopefully as Bandit completely ignored the conversation.

"I want to go into music for sure and either play music or become like a producer or maybe even design march and album covers and that sort of thing." I answered.

"You can draw?" Gerard smiled as he picked up his fried egg sandwich. I shook my head.

"Not very well. I wish I could draw as well as you." I sighed.

"I'm sure you can do anything Jay-Jay. Rock music needs more girls like you. The only girls I can think of are Mommy and Ashley Costello and Hayley Williams." Bandit spoke up. We all looked at her stunned.

"Gerard, have you been showing her screaming again?" Lyn-Z hissed. Frank started giggling.

"I would hardly call Hayley Williams screamo." Gerard replied.

"Ashley hardly does either it's all the collabs with Chris that Frank's been showing her." Mikey interjected. Lyn-Z glared at Frank. She looked like she was going to throw a plate.

"You've been showing her Angel Eyes again Frank? I told you not too!" Lyn-Z hissed.

"It's what we all do for a living so let's not let her be ashamed of her heritage." Frank replied with a giggle. Ray nodded in agreement. Lyn-Z sighed and lent back in her chair with a roll of her eyes.

"We have a band practice later. Ashton said he'd come over to play drums." Mikey reminded. The other three band members nodded.

"Could I dye my hair today? I'd really like a pastel pink or a purple." I asked.

"I have bleach already and I'll take you to get some dye. I might change mine too. What about you Mikey?" Gerard asked.

"Just a blonde will be fine Gee." Mikey answered as he finished up his fried egg sandwich.

"Mommy can I have some dye in my hair?" Bandit asked. Lyn-Z sat quietly for a second.

"We'll dip dye it Lady B. Daddy can do it for you when he does his." Lyn-Z answered as she smiled sweetly at Gerard. Gerard shook his head and laughed.

"We'll go once you've finished your breakfast Jade. I mean all of it and you're not allowed to hide any." Gerard said with a smile on his face. Ray started stacking everyone else's plates up to take into the kitchen. I still wasn't even half way through. Lyn-Z and Bandit left the table and went upstairs.

"I can't eat anymore Gerard." I replied as I pushed the bowl away.

"You've got to eat it." Mikey replied.

"Mikey's right. You have to eat at least 1500 calories every day. I also need to weigh you. We just need to get you above 50 kilos or we're taking you to the doctor." Gerard agreed.

"38 kilos is too heavy. I need to loose it." I muttered. I pushed the bowl further away from me and slumped back in my chair. I pinched at the fat that was hanging off my thighs.

"Go brush your teeth Jade. Get a jacket and we'll go." Gerard sighed. Ray took my bowl and raised an eyebrow at me before I stormed up to my room.

I slammed the door behind me. I tore open the drawer of my bedside table and got my little black box out before heading to my bathroom and locking the door behind me. I rolled up my shirt sleeve and took a deep breath. I picked up the blade that laid on the top. I pressed it against my wrist and slashed quickly. Ugly. Fat. Worthless. I slashed and slashed on both arms. Stupid. Time waster. Weirdo. The blood began flowing out of my wrists as tears fell down my cheeks. I rested my head on the floor and quietly cried into the bath mat. Slowly, slowly the world went black.