《eunoia || poems》|nineteen|
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"assault"
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i didn't understand what the world was like as a child. i think i always understood what my world was supposed to be. but it never lined up with what happened to me. i wasn't fed my childhood on a spoon with the taste of pink princess blankets and sugar. i didn't see the days where the sun should've been stronger than the rain and the sweet sound of innocence should've consumed me. i only ever had the darkness. and i thought that meant there was something wrong with me. i always thought that maybe if i had told you to stop a little bit louder, you wouldn't have assaulted me. that maybe it was my fault for not being okay with what you did.
i only ever wanted to save us. you were supposed to be the person who stood by my side no matter what life put us through. so no matter how much it broke my heart to be helpless to the way you stole my innocence and made my body your own, it was always the pain of losing you that hurt the most.
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